To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

I think there’s a gap emerging between people who spend a lot of time gaming/scrolling, and those who don’t.

Social anxiety is one of the side effects of reduced interaction with other live humans, and the rabbit hole of unpleasantness which is prevalent online. This seems to be a particular issue with younger people.

My thought is that tech is creating a whole subculture, where people have no practical skills, rarely feel achievement, and have lost the art of problem solving in the real world.

Covid made a lot of people more reliant on tech imo, it was pretty much the only way to have a social life for almost a year, and lots just haven't got out of the habit now it's all settled down.

Yep agree. The lockdown and then CoL has made people more anxious, angry and selfish. It's extremely noticeable everywhere. People are not happy

We’ve been through a years’ long collective trauma, and then acted like nothing happened. We’re all exhausted. We’re all dissociating at times. We’re all still healing, and many don’t have any guidance.
we’ve also had years of lockdown - YEARS! Where we built new habits of sedentary isolation.

it takes 30 days to make a habit feel ingrained, and we sat and doomscrolled or gamed or whatever everyone did (I read a lot of books) for years.

so YANBU in that things are different - you are being a bit unreasonable in leading with judgment rather than massive amounts of compassion and patience. (Unless I read this wrong, in which case, I apologize for misjudging you.)

This has been going on for a while. The WHO declared Loneliness to be a public health crisis.

There has to be a causal link to technology and COVID.

I agree - weird and unkind vibe. I’m happy in my little family bubble but outside it’s sad and lonely. I thought it was due to my job changing but I think it’s more than that.

I think it's also because the world is on fire. Weird times.

I have this exact same feeling as well. Something seems "off" but I can't really explain why I feel like this. I guess it kind of feels like everything is slightly unpleasant or there is a nasty undercurrent swirling through everything, and it feels like what we see/hear/experience isn't really true. I'm not sure what is making me feel like this or why, but I feel on edge and worried for no particular reason.

I kind of agree.
I don't think WfH really helps either. You don't really get to know colleagues when contact is limited to business talk in meetings.
You miss the chat by the kettle. And the chat as you'd ask a question rather than emailing.

Lots of people simply don't like other people much or want to interact with others on any kind of direct level. That's evident even from numerous posts on here.

Things have changed. We're lucky here live near beaches and woodlands so lots of family outings during the day. But at night, nothing. Restaurants now only open half the week.

Weirdly my son and wife who are social animals, BBQs in good weather, dinner guests in the winter have all but packed it in. Because the friends they've had time and again have ceased entertaining themselves. These were friends who before covid were very gregarious.

Look at the deliveroo just eat strike on Valentine's day caused chaos for those who didn't want to cook the restaurants that tried bombed. The rise in meal deals for valentine's day etc. how unromantic is this. My son and girlfriend had an M&S one.

The only group that seem keen to go out and socialise are pensioners but in a long life COVID has been less of a catastrophe more of a blip. They're not glued to their phones at the table either.

Yes - though I suppose if they can problem solve in tech, they are sorted? The subculture is becoming the main culture, perhaps.

Seeing my exes get more into gaming also seems to have done something to their brains, or have they just gone into grumpy old man mode?

I am finding that some of the new staff I train have no tendency to want to think of a solution before resorting to google.

I attended a talk, years ago, about "the End of Remembering" by Joshua Foer. I just thought our brains would adapt to the technology but I don't think they have.

Posters saying people are deeply changed and unhappy - I agree. It's not a criticism at all. I just wondered if I was odd because when I mention it to friends and family they just say "well, I'm fine and everything looks normal to me".

But I think tech was creeping up on us quite a long time before the pandemic and I think it might be a big factor in unhappiness.

I was really posting because I was interested in whether other people feel this vibe.

If society is going this way, what does the future look like? Politics will change and finances will hopefully recover - but the technology is not going to go away.

I think it's lucky to be able to remember a time when more socialisation was a thing - I do understand that introverts like it though.

I don't really see or feel what you're feeling tbh. I'm mid 40s and live in London Zone 2, but my social circle is very different as I have dcs under 6. Everyone we know is happy and busy with their dcs, and most people we see out and about are enjoying the same kind of social events and outings with their dcs as we are. We live in a busy part of London that attracts lots of tourists and it's buzzing every evening, and people are interacting all around us and seem happy.

I tend to socialise with my family and don't spend much time with friends but that doesn't mean I'm lonely. Just that my favourite people are my family and I prioritise spending time with them over anyone else.

It’s a mix of things. A real sense that the party is over and that life won’t be so comfortable ever again. Partly due to the effects of the pandemic, COL and climate crisis. Some of my friends who previously tried to keep flying to a minimum for environmental reasons are doing long haul trips to see the world whilst they still can afford to.

Some people are depressed about the current conflicts and feel powerless, especially about Israel Palestine. Others are disturbed that they can’t even discuss the issues without someone else shouting at them. The general polarisation of opinion is soul destroying.

Also the cognitive dissonance many are carrying. We say we hate Just Stop Oil protesters and the like, but we sense at some visceral level that the climate is changing, and not in a good way.

We sense that capitalism is breaking down - work doesn’t pay like it did, and that our government are a pile of steaming shitbags but we as nations are apathetic.

@MariaLuna You know Fall Out Boy covered Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire....nothing new under the sun, but tech seems to be the game changer.

@RockStarship I felt like that too today and an evening out with a friend shouldn't feel like that.

The people who tell me everything is fine don't seem fine themselves tbh - but they put it down to "we are all getting older".

I sometimes feel people are more interested in their phones than they are in talking to the person they went out with. But I feel I'm being unfair because in their way, they are hanging out and having the company, and perhaps I'm just an old fuddy duddy.

"the end of remembering"

That's it. I'm fighting my family on this. They've been trying to talk me into buying an automatic car. I've resisted because it's a skill I don't want to lose. They'd think me cracked if I articulated that.

They think I'm eccentric because I won't use the calendar on my phone. Appointments I memorise or write down and pin to the board in the office. It's another skill I don't want to lose. I write out shopping lists, I won't food shop online. Nor do I want Alexa to keep my shopping list.

I WhatsApp my family because they're all so busy with young children and I don't know when's the best time to call.

I do two cross words a day. Try to read a book every day.

I think it's the time of year as well tbf. I tend to hibernate a bit between Xmas and half term.

@justasking111 very relatable, I don't want to lose certain skills either. I do shop online though.

I do fix a time for phone calls but find friends prefer WhatsApp. A telephone call feels more "real" to me.

"Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything eBook : Foer, Joshua: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store" https://www.amazon.co.uk/Moonwalking-Einstein-Science-Remembering-Everything-ebook/dp/B004W25KKW/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=G1LF4DS10NCF&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.6ATZrG-Mj0aGCYczPXqh3p0Xa5XIZ3q10NDJ2GqlDH6j8_CfZb_6G_PRs_dpbJsKLdlTuamqqfNgfvv4pM8mB-5njqRxJshgiW04zSeZy8u35q4LVFwaJfiiHoy5XmKAT_EqJ0uzMeBSNLByqOCFiOqeC1mAttqP6YqRZtlqdmd_SfVnM-1YtPSsEPOUuvw7Lr6rF2PgGxLyHP8-TA1Vdw.EhYQas4Q69HdnpeBUhw8d6PMoW-StWqwJ1PdPoXVL-0&dib_tag=se&keywords=joshua+foer&qid=1708390918&sprefix=joshua+foer%2Caps%2C169&sr=8-1

Well I've bought the book. I might buy one for someone else I know too

@ARichSeamToMine I've no idea who or what Fall Out Boy is but I'm talking about the world being on fire as in Ukraine/Middle East/China threatening Taiwan etc.

Dread to think Trump might get in........

I think tech has a big part in this and it would have happened even without Covid. You can now get everything delivered to your door so less need to go out as much and a lot of socialisation is online, especially for the younger generation. People tend to be more selfish and less empathetic in general the less human face to face contact they have.

There’s no way staring at lit screens all day and processing all the masses of information our brains are picking up (which they didn’t before when we just read books) is healthy. Lots of trauma from bad news stories from all around the world with pictures and videos too makes us more wary and anxious of our own species and the world in general. Stuff we wouldn’t have known about before the internet, let alone see it up close in a screen.

A lot of people are dissatisfied with their lives too because they can see other people’s picture perfect (for the camera) lives all over SM. It’s difficult, especially for young people, to separate fantasy from reality. Easier to bury your head in your phone on Tik Tok or gaming.

People seem to be much more stressed than ever before despite living less labour intensive lives than ever before which leads to more aggression. A lot of it probably down to having too much time on their hands and not enough physical exercise.

It’s a ticking time bomb for our younger generation together with the COL, house prices and climate change.

Not really much to look forward to if you haven’t got the chance to build a decent life, a home, security for a family, a holiday once a year, etc despite working your bollocks off, which was achievable for many 30-40 years ago.

May as well enjoy avocados, Costa coffee and have a night out while waiting for the inevitable collapse of humanity due to climate change!

If you're out for the night, is that stuff on your mind though?

I suppose if you are constantly having your phone ping with news alerts, the answer is yes. Perhaps more people are doing that than I realised.

I'm old enough to remember a lot of shit....the overwhelming groundswell of horror about the Iraq war, for example, but this feels different. There's been several points in my life where I think we've all said "shit, is this going to start WW3" and it's always a worry.

I think @RockStarship has probably hit the nail on the head for me. It's like something is off but I can't put on my finger on it. It's something different than all the awful stuff going on.

someone mentioned people being unkind. I'm not finding that, fortunately, but perhaps that's just luck.

Our society is on a downward spiral, I really believe that. It was accelerated by Covid.

I have noticed this too OP. Unfortunately, I think this is the inevitable hangover from nearly three years spent in lockdown - people spent more time on their own and realised they kinda liked it, that they don't actually need what's 'out there' and are happy to continue.

This is obviously not great news for the economy but people welcomed it despite being told this would be the outcome. As they say, be careful what you wish for...

@RamblingAroundTheInternet Yes, I wouldn't want to be young now.

And I'm worried about my nephew who games a LOT - but that's a whole other thread. Taking him out tomorrow so off to bed now.