To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

That they control the media. That they have no right to a homeland. That they 'milk the Holocaust' (yes, I have heard more than one person say that) That they are greedy. That they cannot experience racism, because many of them are white. You just try saying anything negative about Islam in liberal society and see how far it gets you.

You’ve just had Lee Anderson say that Muslims control London.

People say Muslims don’t integrate, that they take all housing, that Islamophobia isn’t a racist.

The government won’t even acknowledge the term Islamophobia.

It’s two sides of the same coin, neither is right.

If you feel like this it’s time to step away from the echo chamber that is the internet. Stop reading the news, stop wasting time on Netflix and get out and do something in your local community to see that good things are going on out there and there are still other people seeking that human connection.

Precisely. Also, stop worrying about what is going on in Ukraine/Gaza/ USA/whereever. Worry about your own street and your own life.

Pubs have become more boring though. No jukebox, no pool, can't find a snooker table for love nor money.

They all sell wanky crisps and overpriced 'small plates'.
A glass of coke is more expensive than half a lager.
A lot of the fun, laidbackness has gone from pubs. Round here anyway.

Yes and it’s a neglectful attitude. Of course it’s their responsibility unless their DC has gone into social services and they have lost parental rights.

If there are health reasons that require specialist support, that’s to support them in their responsibility.

i hadn’t thought of that. Me and dc were playing pool at an over priced battle bar over half term and we were talking about me and dh in our youth playing in the pubs. And you’re right they’ve all gone. As 20 somethings you’d get your coins together and go to the pub to meet your friends for a drink and spend the evening playing pool or darts.
pubs aren’t the same are they

My IL live in a town which used to have loads of pubs - they were closing at a rapid rate before covid and void was filled with pop up micro pubs. Since covid the rate of closure accelerated and pop up pubs haven't come back.

Same in our city - many closure before and after covid - where we could go for pub meals few new one since that haven't lasted.

My IL also like to shop - they've given up last few years - and now rely more and more on internet. They started instead to do cinemas - pre covid - but even there they are increasingly struggling to find films they wanted to watch.

I think covid strained entertainment business already under pressure and then cost of living crisis has been death nell.

The toilet training - seems to be a poorly worded question - ambiguous on how frequent accidents were to be considered none trained and if they did have accident in school whether parents were expected to go into school and sort child out.

Most pubs were always no frills but people would go there for company and to socialise. Think of the sitcom Early Doors for your typical local pub.

But now people can socialise online from their own living room either on their laptops or smart phone. They've got an endless choice of tv boxsets or films/documentaries to watch, or youtube videos to view or tiktok to scroll.

Even just going back to the 80s if there nothing to watch on BBC or ITV that day/evening then they'd go to the pub just for something to do. People socialised out of boredom, now there's so many distractions at home.

Therefore when people go to a pub now to socialise, or other venue, they end up sat on their phones half the time anyway.

The mind needs boredom but modern society doesn't permit it and it's killed attention spans and often socialising out of the home.

Pubs near me are brilliant, don't know what you're talking about

Ours are either chain food pubs, but the majority have closed for housing or the pop up phoenix car dealerships.

In some of the more affluent towns surrounding my area there are shops that are now tap rooms, which are closer to what the pub was and they do seem to be busy.

There's an excellent choice of pubs and bars in my city centre with a very wide variety. Local high street ones are all too samey.

I remember when I was young in the 70s and 80s dad would often just go down to the local for an hour or so when there was nothing on telly. There was always someone he knew to chat to. I can’t imagine doing that now.

many spoons are laid back.
some in particular have a real sense of easy going community - as did my local one - now sadly closed.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/hospitality-industry-closures-energy-bills-covid-b2473830.html

There were more than 10 closures every day, according to industry data, which revealed the number of licensed premises in Britain fell by 3.6 per cent from 103,682 to 99,916 in the year to September.

IL live in small rural midland town - we live in a city (more like a town size wise) where center is slowly dying so image we're losing pubs faster than other busier cities and areas.

Still have a couple of good one near us - on a long country walk way by river that great in spring and summer - but we've gone less and money has tightened.

My IL used to go out Thursday Friday and Saturday every week to their locals - now they may only go out once for an hour or two or some weeks not at all - but they do weekends away so other food/drink locations still get their money just one in tourist destinations or big cites with things to see and do.

You control the media by unplugging the TV.

I don"t buy that people socialised out of boredom in the 80"s, they socialised then because there was a vibrant party life outside their four walls, great clubs, great bands, people were much more able to enjoy themselves back then.

Any chance you could disclose your amazing location?

I think people (men especially) went to pubs because it was the way to network.
No social media asking on FB anyone know a plumber, be a regular in the local and you'll know a plumber - who'll do a small homer - or you'll get a recommendation for a bigger job.
If your a tradesman looking to top up wages it was the place to get work.

There was also high unemployment in the 80s. People went to the pub to keep themselves sane so they wouldn't be sat in bed all day. There was no Internet or PlayStation to wile away the hours.

The price of a pint was also more affordable.

I went to a greasy spoon cafe the other day. I was taking the teenager out for breakfast, locally they’ve all closed. So this was in the next town.
I used to love a greasy spoon in my youth.
inside was loads of old boys who clearly meet regularly there, they were discussing hospital appointments, what they watched on tv “with that blonde bird”.
i found it massively comforting and reassuring, it was like pubs of old. They knew everyone coming and going.

went to a wanky artisan cafe a few weeks later and the teenager decreed it not as good as the greasy spoon cafe.
im also going to make a point of going when funds allow to keep it going.

I looked at the questionnaire that this was based on, and the question about toilet training was so badly worded that it was unclear what was meant by nurseries sharing responsibility for toilet training.
Nurseries having spme responsibility could mean anything from changing a nappy after an occasional accident to full on potty training.

I think it is meals out that are so expensive, especially if they aren't that great.

I went out on Sat night to somewhere with a £5 entrance ticket and spent £5 on a drink (in a round with three others, so all had three drinks). Wasn't expensive at all, but a meal out would be £30 just for me, and for the three in our family it would be £60 or more, for a perfectly ordinary pizza dinner.

Hence the reason that a lot of "meal out" places are going bust, they are trying to push high rental (and rising staff costs as staff try to pay their mortgages at more normal interest rates) costs onto the customer, it just isn`t sustainable without the freely available cheap debt.

In the past meals out were for most people only for special occasions. Maybe we are heading back to that?