To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

If it just feels a bit "off" to you, consider yourself lucky. The world is in a mess, this country is in a mess, none of it will be resolved without major conflict. Stop worrying about it, you can't change any of it, so just live your life as best you can.

I think this.
I'm 52, I can name the stars, birds, trees, flowers - I was taught as a child and also devoured my encyclopaedia brittannicas as had not much else to do back in the day.
I know my children don't have the same knowledge of the world around them although they do appreciate the natural world.
Sorry for the slight derail.

Socially, it's strange out there. I went out for lunch at the end of January on a Wednesday and the restaurant was packed! No special offers or anything, it was just packed.

People do quite often report packed restaurants and bars still. I think it's because covid saw off quite a lot and others shut/limit opening due to lack of staff. So even if there are fewer people who can afford to go than there would've been in February 2020, in a lot of places they're crammed into fewer venues. The ones that are managing to stay open are still busy.

This isn’t my experience but maybe it’s a London bubble thing. My teenager DS2 is out with his friends, does sport regularly. DS1 is at uni so socialising all the time. I have a team including people in their twenties who are great, lively and interesting. Some of us veteran employees 😂 make sure we are around each day to mentor them.

I feel like the cause isn’t particularly covid or tech, but refined capitalism. Everything is designed to extract profit, literally everything - it’s soul destroying exchanging your time for as little as your employer can get away with and living in a world where everything is milked to reward someone else. While tech and post-covid behaviours do play a role, I feel they’re intertwined with the current stage of capitalism’s extractive forces. In the UK in particular it feels especially shit as public service is at bare minimum, despite high costs.

I feel we’d have better lives if as a society we invested properly in our collective infrastructure, for public good and to enable everyone in society to co-exist with far less disparity and inequality.

Dont forget we live in a world where powerful people and companies want us to spend spend spend. It doesnt matter of individuals prefer home working or staying in with a book and playing board games with family. If you dont have a Merlin membership, go to the pub and buy lunch out 3 times a week, you are responsible for the failing economy.

Being content with cheap hobbies and thrifted clothes doesnt line pockets. We need to be out to see the advertising, what people are wearing and what tech they are using so that we can feel like we need more more more.

Being content with what you have doesnt make you spend to fill the gap in your life. Being discontent is good, it makes you think you need to buy something to make life better or bearable - a bottle of wine on a friday, a day out on saturday to make up for lost family time, a takeaway Saturday night because you're so knackered, pub lunch Sunday to see family. Money money money.

Late 40's here OP, I 100% agree with you.

I am saddened really at how many people are staring at their phones in public spaces. I mostly don't even take mine if I go out to have a coffee or to eat. There is definitely something different now.

I am so glad that I was a teenager in the 90's and not now.

This with bells on.

I agree, I think there are some huge ongoing repercussions from lockdown really not unpacked at all yet.

Tech is a big one (she says glued to her phone)

I also find there's a strange simmering anger with people unlike previously. I find as a cyclist its much scarier to be on the roads these days than it was 5 years ago, drivers are much more hostile and aggressive. Road rage in cars too although its less scary to be sharing the road with some ham faced nutter when you're in a car than it is on a bike.

Similar vibe in queues in places of business. People giving shop staff and waiters and bus drivers and receptionists a hard time in a way they would never have done previously. It honestly feels like a different world now.

A very thought provoking thread.

@justasking111 thank you for the book link. I have just ordered it.

Being content with cheap hobbies and thrifted clothes doesnt line pockets. We need to be out to see the advertising, what people are wearing and what tech they are using so that we can feel like we need more more more.

I agree, @CommentNow Cheap hobbies are often seen as twee and a bit sad. Or weird and geeky.

It’s quite simple. That device we hold in our hand ( constantly for billions of people) has become our friend.
Why would we bother to put the glad rags on, a bit of slap when we can sit in our warm comfortable homes and scroll away.

I'm in the same boat. I don't know a single person or their child who is still using the Covid times as an excuse for anything. Life has gone on as normal and I would say it's been like that for at least a year or two now. I'm also in Zone 2 and live very close to Central and it is always busy. Everyone I know is always busy too with stuff so I don't recognise your post op

I agree re people being more angry. A few experiences in recent months make me feel like everyone is out there to take advantage of others and generally there is little community spirit.

I think in the past growing up it felt like even if there were problems in the country/world, there was a lot of hope around. Becoming an adult in the 90's felt like there were a lot of possibilities and that things were on the up.

Now it feels like everything is going to shit and with the cost of living crisis you'd better hold on tight to what you've got and watch your back because who knows what's coming next. People have always been very self absorbed though I think, phones have just made it much more obvious. Before though people drank and took drugs for fun, now it's to self medicate.

We have the most incompetent and corrupt politicians in the history of our democracy.

There is almost unrestricted immigration without the infrastructure to support it.

The police force has ceased to be effective because they are politically captured.

Our schools and universities are captured by gender ideology, as are the police and the NHS.

Men can claim to be women, and women, men without any need for demonstrable proof of genuine gender dysphoria, and this has allowed perverts and paraphiliacs to do so and demand access to women's spaces, sports, scholarships and awards - and all of this is making life more dangerous and difficult for women and children. We are going backwards in terms of women's rights.

Police won't come out for crimes but will bully people for "non-crime hate speech".

Children are being effectively encouraged to report their parents for such "hate speech" opinions uttered in their own homes.

Children are changing their "gender" almost en masse - especially gay children, and autistic girls, and being encouraged into irreversible surgery/ drug use.

There are areas of the country where the police dare not go, even if they were keen to pursue criminals.

Yes - the whole bliddy lot is horrendous!

I know that out there there are honest policemen who really want to make a difference, teachers who are still desperate to teach and protect the children under their care, medical personnel who fight against the "wiping out" of women as a class of humanity - but there is so much idiocy and sheer mysogyny to combat it's wearying.

There are even some honest and capable politicians - but they are fighting against the tide, it seems.

Perhaps if we could sort parliament out we could sort everything out - the fish rots from the head down. Sadly, all parties seem to be equally appalling - but if The Women's Party, or Reform put up candidates in my ward, then I'll vote for them. The rest of them are, by and large, a waste of skin.

Haven’t RTFT but I’ve just been having this exact conversation with our teen! This was after I’d been doomscrolling the news and seen the latest headlines about Govt decisions (banning overseas care workers from bringing their DC to live with them) and was telling my DP. IMO I don’t think it’s phone use per se, I think the constant onslaught of negativity has affected the nation’s mental health. It started with Cameron and Osborne’s austerity measures and it just hasn’t relented. Not sure a change of Govt will make a difference but it would be nice to feel some optimism for once.

I don't recognise any of this. I'm mid-40s. Got a couple of friends who have just been through divorces and the stress of that but very much feeling onwards and upwards.

We socialise, there's new restaurants and bars opening in my town all the time and the occasional time I go out in London it's as busy and cheerful as normal.

I don't feel any effect from lockdown, nor do I think it affected DC a jot.

Life became way to easy to sit in an office and get money for not producing things on a field, in a factory or in a craft shop. People are wired to be busy, otherwise the devil comes in when they are doing nothing. Then you have that we are wired for love but when true love cannot be found, people just start misusing others. The bad vibe you are talking about has always been on planet Earth

@brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I agreement I think politics massively underestimate the value that the public put in public services.

Tax cuts are designed to get people to recreationally spend more e.g. to line corporations.

I'm not even in a higher tax bracket and the idea of a tax cut horrifies me. I want to pay more for better services. Councils are going bust all over the place. We want better SEN and vulnerable child provisions, we have to pay for it. We want more public transport, we need to pay to invest in it, actual dental care, ditto.

Maybe I'll never personally benefit from any of it, but its work the price of a coffee and a lunch each week.

I totally get what you mean. This thread makes for such depressing reading though.

Half term where I am so decided to take dd out on the train to a local city. Came home with a weird feeling which I couldn't put into words or shake. Then I came across this post & it totally summed up what was bothering me.
I think when it gets towards the end of winter as well,people are fed up of the dark,dull & awful weather.
But as another person said,I feel happy in my little bubble,then when I venture out,mainly to busy,people heavy places,I feel lost & uneasy.
So you're definitely not alone OP.

Was going to say that this was my experience when I was in London for a few days at half term. On the tube people were more friendly and were speaking more than I’ve seen before offering seats etc it was busy . Shop assistants and restaurant staff also great, younger ones more than older in my unscientific survey. My local area is busy, restaurants booked up. It’s confirmation bias at play as well though, what you look for you see.

does it also depend how old you are and how many wars etc you’ve seen.

someone was saying and it may have been on here that it seems worse as we see more stuff from around the world , there are always wars and cruelty but it’s available to see now, we aren’t just in our little village or town.

No, I don't agree at all, despite all the shit going on, this is great time to be alive. Embrace new tech, make it work for you. There are positive changes post covid. Look for the good stuff in life and stop doom scrolling. Although just by reading this thread, I've done the last one!

Agree. WFH is what you make it. If you sit around all day and don’t leave the house, it might be rubbish. It’s enabled me to exercise more in the time I save on commute, get out in my local community at lunch and use local small businesses (which are thriving!) and have the energy/inclination to socialise with people I actually want to socialise with - having not been stuck in a stuffy office all day.