I would hold a silent truce and here is why: You were incredibly nice to purchase a present for your MIL and take her out. That alone would of made me grin and bear and be grateful for a gift I did not want. I am a frank person by nature, highly analytical and an introvert so not many people's social cup of tea. I am also super reliable, trustworthy, fair, compassionate and love to great depths without wanting anything back. Best of all I am a constant work in progress as you and your MIL are.
When I have encountered similar behavior first reaction is compassion. My thinking would be she may of been as shocked as you were about an inappropriate gift and her behavior was based on that. She may have felt unheard, dismissed, like you just picked something out to satisfy meeting some expectations around her birthday. She may of felt the invite was insincere. If we do anything for ulterior motives (guilt, making us look good to family, hubs, etc it is insincere and others will feel that because we are not relaxed and in a place of genuine love). DIL relationships are complicated even for women who don't want total control over their domaine. You may not be competing with her and other women and looking for a fight so you can end your part in relationship building in other to build your domaine but you might have had a seething reaction because she is your MIL. Would you have purchased a blouse for a friend without considering it was something they mentioned they wanted? If your own mom hated would she have lied and so you expect her to be like mom? Would you have preferred she lied?
I think her response was less than stellar and you could address it in a light hearted way by bringing the receipt by her home (getting permission of course to stop by) and sharing how you felt but doing it with humble humor. Here is a script you could adapt " Hi- I am pretty embarrassed about the birthday gift but our relationship means a lot to me so I want to apologize if I seemed distracted at your birthday lunch. I was so embarrassed that you had such a strong negative reaction to the gift that I couldn't think straight and was flustered. In hindsight I realize you, just like me, want to pick out your own clothes. I thought it was beautiful and assumed anyone would. Add in that I am not used to frankness and I felt a bit toppled and angry about that. Here is the receipt and now all I need is a hug". Then just shut up. This allows you to let her gently know she was rude, that you value the relationship and your gift giving was inappropriate but done out of love. It is a win win. When you let someone know you value the relationship what you are giving them is not permission to abuse you or expect insta closeness. What you are saying is you value their life enough to want to keep the relationship on a good standing with regards to willingness to work through tough stuff (which all relationships go through) and to bravely communicate feelings and thoughts in gentle, respective ways and to really hear them so you can create closeness.
Your fuming rage eats you and harms your entire family whether you said anything out loud or not.. MILs run the gamut of "Very dear to horrible but we have to make sure we are not looking for a fight when we declare a MIL's behavior as horrible. Interestingly we rarely hear about horrible FILs but we would hear more if DIL complained about all that their FILs fail to do. How many FIL offer to babysit, bring food during illness, try to create holiday memories, buy presents or remember special occasions, just to name a few things we women often do as mothers, sisters, partners, DILs and MILs? Yet FIL are not criticized even when they offer unsolicited advice partially because we females are not competing with them for our hubs love, devotion or time. No household needs to pit a MIL against the family which is what occurs when a DIL is fuming. And for all MIL's out there who ever criticize their DIL, I can only say shame on you and stop it today! ZIP that overbearing, judgemental mouth and get a life outside of the control freaking you feel compelled to do because you've culturally learned that is supposed to be your role and a right of some sort. It is not in this day and age and should never of been a right for a MIL to have any domaine over her own daughters or her DIL's household. Cultural BS that needs to go the way of the dinosaur because not all culture and tradition is positively supporting or uplifting.. If you want a role in your adult children's lives be the most beautifully supportive, compassionate person they are going to meet every time you are around them. Your DIL and her partner are just getting through life best they can and they need the space to do life their way because they belong to a newer culture and different ways of thinking (the exception to non interference would be if physical abuse of a child is occuring, sexual included as well as drug and alcohol addicted parents driving while children are in car, etc-).
When you stop telling others how to live then you have to focus on your own successes and failures and what you want outside of the easy way out which is focusing on the faults of others. Get out of everyone's way and be the happiest person you can be by focusing on your life and helping others, including your own family but without a breath of advice unless specifically asked for and zero criticism or negativity. You sow what you reap- either a sweet garden to relax in or one full of thorny uncomfortable bushes that shuts others out. Your choice- same for DIL's looking for a fight. This MIL was less than gracious and rude depending on how one values complete frankness. She was refreshingly forthright to people like me who value frankness and we'd of had a good laugh and she would of gotten the receipt. She was rude to not thank you for taking her to lunch and buying her a gift. You can move forward in anger or you can move forward with compassion for a woman who may still be working on herself. Your choice. Always leading with compassion for others and yourself brings a lot of love to any relationships.