Ungrateful MIL - absolutely LIVID

[Lipbalmstrawberry]

It’s MIL’s birthday today and we went out for a meal at lunchtime. I gave her her gift which was a blouse from River Island and when she opened it she just was like “Eugh, I don’t think this will suit me. It probably won’t fit me either.” “Have you got the receipt? I’ll go in and change it when go into town on Friday. If not you can keep it I don’t like that.” all with a scowl on her face. I was completely aghast and fuming so I just lied and said I don’t have the receipt and put it back in my bag. Not a word of thanks! I felt even a bit humiliated to be honest.

The rest of the lunch was completely normal and she was talking to me as though nothing happened but inside I was absolutely seething and I still am to be honest. I wished I’d have told her to not be so rude! And she never even said thank you for the cake either!

WIBU to not bother with a cake and present next year? I’m thinking of not bothering after that reaction.

MILs can be such p*ks! The ball is in her court now to make effort. My MIL is always taking passive aggressive pops at me, but I always punch back to keep our relationship a bit balanced.

Wow. That is so rude. I am similar to you I go above and beyond for my in-laws. But I stopped after last years fiasco.

It is normal within my family to but clothing etc. Even distant family members. It isn't odd at all so ignore the other commenters.
But agree next time leave it to DH to but and spoil his dear mother. Stay outta it.

Not to generalise but Inhave noticed this kinda behaviour in post menopausal women.

As she was opening it you should probably have said, I’ve got the receipt if you don’t like it, but regardless she sounds incredibly rude in how she told you. There are better ways and means in conveying the same message.

Or do you think you might have been a bit over sensitive?

Don't assume you know what someone would/n't like to wear simply because of their age. OK, she disliked the blouse but that's not necessarily related to her age.

Absolutely outrageous reaction. Can't believe the responses here nearly saying it was your own fault for buying the wrong thing... Its the thought that counts and she should have said thank you, its lovely. I'd never buy her another present as long as I live.

Get a refund and don't bother next year. When she asks kindly remind her how you got it so wrong this yesr so didn't want to cause her any more upset again so didn't bother. She'll get it and you've done a very very polite get lost gesture 👏

No more gifts for her if you ask me, but I’m a bit jaded after some very similar behaviour from wicked SIL 🤣

Because 68 year olds only wear Crimplene frocks don't they!!

Is it the first time you have bought her something to wear? Is she telling you that she does not want clothes someone else has chosen?

I think she may be doing to you what my children have done to me in the past, when I buy them clothes for presents. I have learned now not to buy things to wear, because they don't like wearing things I have chosen for them. They are grown now, but the only acceptable clothes I could buy them without having them with me were school uniforms.

Next year, buy the cake and make a present of something she doesn't have to wear, or at least buy something from Gudrun Sjogren because their clothes are ageless, and every year they bring out new clothes which blend with what you have in your wardrobe, and which she will enjoy wearing.

Very rude indeed.
Next year tell DH is he in charge of buying present and cake for his mother! And stick to it!

I think it's a very odd choice of present.

Had a look at tops on their site. They aren't targeted at young people. There's an awful lot of dull and very uninspiring clothes.

If the reaction was as reported, then it's rude but it's a strange present.

I'm 64. I've just looked at the first 3 pages of tops on River Island. I wouldn't want any of them. To my eyes they range from nondescript at best through to dull and dreary and positively hideous. They don't look particularly targeted at a young market.

Doesn't excuse the rudeness, if it happened as reported, but I'd be nonplussed at getting a blouse from River Island.

River Island shirts

I'm completely puzzled by all these posts saying River Island is "trendy" for under 40s. This selection of shirts gives M& S and John Lewis stiff competition in the "let's see who can sell the dreariest clothes" stakes.

All the “OMG you bought her a blouse?! That’s so weird!!” comments hurt my brain. A DIY minge electrolysis kit - THAT’S weird. A life size sculpture of Yvette Fielding in Cathedral City cheese - THAT’S weird. A blouse is just… well, a blouse.

How does someone get to the age of 68 and not know that the protocol here is to say “Oh, how kind” and then discreetly add later, “Actually, I find size 12s are a bit tight on me these days. Would you mind if I had the receipt just in case?”

Get her bath cubes next year. Cheap ones. Miserable old sow.

My mother suddenly started saying rude things like this (and asking weird, obvious questions) a few months before her dementia diagnosis. It rapidly moved on to making insulting remarks about people and insisting that her neighbour was coming into her house and moving things about. She was 63.

Just a thought.

Yep, totally agree @maudelovesharold; basic manners are about preserving the feelings of others. It doesn’t matter if the gift was odd or not wanted, you say thank you. Your MiL @Lipbalmstrawberry is a graceless and charmless piece of work. The fact she could be so rude and then carry on as if nothing had happened makes me wonder if she’s being deliberately unpleasant.

trying to delete earlier post as in a bit if a state and posted in the wrong place

I saw it, don’t worry - its pretty obvious its in the wrong thread x

She was rude, plus never in my life have I asked someone for a receipt for a gift the only time I would is if it genuinely didn't fit ect even then I would feel to bad so I probably would have brought myself the right size without asking for the receipt lol, it's the thought that counts for me, she sounds extremely ungrateful I would have said something then and there, maybe pull her aside next time you see her and express how uncomfortable it made you. I would have been mortified if that was me x

I'd just keep it and try again with the same blouse next year and see if she even notices.

Agree. Terrible accusation, even if if tongue in cheek.

Very rude and awful to say it in front of other people.
I would save the blouse and give it to her again next birthday 😂

What an odd statement to make, "Shoplifting" - Are you the MIL!?

Re-read O/P thread. She said, "I lied and said I don't have the receipt."