To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

Epilepsy sufferers aren't allowed to drive if they're still having regular seizures

Well she sounds like no fun at all!

She is probably jealous that you get PIP payments that allow you to obtain a rail card. I had a man ranting at me in a car park two years ago over my blue badge, and not being disabled 'enough' to use those bays by the shop door. I asked him if he had a medical degree, and then gave him a full run down of my rather obvious disabilities. He felt like an idiot for being deflated from his crusade. As for your friend, you should feel slightly sorry for her to be honest. If she thinks someone with epilepsy is a candidate for a driving licence, she isn't very smart. There is lots of disabled hate that sadly exists, and you have to develop a thick skin when dealing with difficult people. If challenged, I usually invite that person to come and live a week in my body before passing judgement. That usually shuts them up.

So sorry OP 🩷 good call ditching her 👏🏻

I have ms so get a blue badge, 95% of the time I am fine, I work and go to swimming. I’d much rather not have ms than a blue badge, as you say they don’t give them away for free. Tell your friend to walk a mile in your shoes and face her towards a very near steep cliff.

Oh my goodness. It, quite literally, is not safe for you to drive, or safe for other road users. (Through not fault of your own) Of course you need the subsidised transport.

Your income and job are irrelevant. Her comments are very one dimensional. Ask her where do we draw the line, should people with medical conditions like these just stay completely housebound? Her issue stems entirely around the money. Totally shortsighted.

I don't know where you found her but I'm glad you've decided to throw her back.

How bloody dare she!

And I bet Tesina isn't even your real name 😂

Agree with all the other posters. Ignore and claim your legitimate benefit, no thought needed whatsoever. But also wonder about these people who shit on their friends' support systems. Why is she doing this? What is her real beef? This costs her nothing. Can someone explain.

I have a disabled persons railcard as I wear hearing aids in both ears. A ’friend’ told me I was being dishonest having one as I could hear him without wearing the aids whilst we were in my lounge. The fact I can’t hear when I’m outside or on a train and so won’t hear safety announcements escapes him.

I hope she thinks it through and realises how stupid what she said was…

Definitely her you need to get rid of. My friends are grateful that if they accompany me somewhere on the train I can get them 1/3 of their ticket cost too! And often into places there for less than full price too!

Really wind her up and tell her that I used my disabled card to travel first class last weekend. I sat there, in the comfy seat with the trolley coming up and down with sandwiches and coffee. I do it as seat reservations keep being cancelled and I can’t risk not getting a seat.

You've had a lot of comments but if you're still reading I want to add another voice to say stuff her. My DH has adult-onset epilepsy and it is an awful condition that strips you of so many freedoms others take for granted. I know he would pay for a Railcard a hundred times over if it meant he didn't have to suffer with epilepsy. You are entitled to your card and if it makes your life one tiny bit easier you more than deserve it.

Your friend is no friend and a total ass. I too have a seizure disorder, and cannot drive. Wish I could.

This person isn’t your friend. Get rid.

I wish I'd been on-the train to hear her...

Cannot believe what your friend did that's truly disgusting, drop her completely.

You were right, good call.
However it was possibly the high price of the rail ticket that really riled her.
Rail travel, rather than cars, is better for the environment and should be so much cheaper and better funded for every traveller.

I am always astonished at how people like your 'friend' and the 'friend' of the poster who wears hearing aids pontificate about subsidies and benefits from a position of such ignorance. Do they not realise that people with a disabled railcard have to provide evidence of a disability?

As for complaining that other people subsidise your tickets, what about the other types of railcard for students, families etc? It's far better to have people using the trains with discounted tickets than to have them empty.

OP I completely understand why this would upset you and as easy as it is for others to say bin off the friend, these judgments happen all the time.

I need a carer for communication mainly, although I have a number of different health issues and I'm very reluctant to let others know if I have selected to have an unpaid carer with me/rail card/pip award/rad key/ ect....

Perfect example for me this week, took DD bowling with partner. Was within my rights to select disability and carer but didn't, think I would manage. In fact I needed help with communication, eat and taking part... Still I don't want to have to explain myself.

If you feel you want to, maybe educate your friend so they understand a little more the struggles you have

If you live in London, apply for a disabled persons freedom pass, then you'll get free travel across London as you are unable to drive. You should be allowed to get a disabled persons freedom pass easily but if (for some reason you don't qualify) apply for discretionary disabled persons freedom pass! If not in London investigate a free bus pass!

Please make sure you get everything you are due, while you are at it, try to apply for personal independence payments. Please keep your disabled persons railcard it's important to keep you mobile! With the disabled persons railcard you get your companion a discount, I trust if she found out that your companion could get a discount too she would be more irate?

She knows nothing about being disabled so please do not listen to her rants, she should be ashamed of her outdated views.

I live London and am not entitled to a freedom pass, though I am entitled to a disabled railcard. The criteria are completely different. I’m also not entitled to PIP. The criteria for that are different again.

Your horrible ex friend is wrong about subsidising people with discount cards. The train (or bus) is going to its destination with or without you on board, and everyone will have different conditions and prices for their tickets.

Good riddance to her.