To be upset that my "friend" has told me off for getting a disabled person's railcard

[cottonwoolbrain]

... because I'm not in a wheelchair and don't have trouble walking so I don't need one. Oh and apparently I've got a well paid job and she doesn't see why people should have to pay extra to subsidise me.

We went on a trip at the weekend and she saw me using the card and took the opportunity to lecture me - lots of other people on the train were clearly listening and taking it all in.

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

I didn't enjoy the trip and came home and cried... I thought about giving up the card but I've decided to give her up instead.. wish I could give up the epilepsy too

Definitely give her up. How lucky she is to be able to be so ignorant.

Worra knob.

You’re entitled to a disabled railcard, I have one and I don’t use a wheelchair. She’s talking through her arse.

I’m glad you feel better. Yes to giving up that friend. Good on you. You should tell her why too. Horrible attitude.

Well she sounds thick as pigshit.....life is far too short to waste on people like that.

The senior Railcard is available to anyone over 60. The aim is to encourage people who might not be able to afford it, to use the rail network.

I have a senior Railcard even though I absolutely can afford to pay the full price. Having said that I probably go into London a lot more often because it costs me less. Which is what the train company is aiming for.

I've just been issued with hearing aids. So next time I'll buy a disability Railcard. I'm entitled to it and it will mean that I can use it at peak times as well as off peak. I am far less deserving of the card than you are @cottonwoolbrain but I'm still going to get it.

Your friend is acting as though you're getting a freebie. And even if it was a freebie you'd still deserve it.

Apply for the disabled bus pass too. In some areas you get free local train travel between certain times

She's not really a friend, OP. You are entitled to that railcard, and sounds like you are being super sensible in using it.
I'm in the process of applying for a blue badge, etc. (I have a spinal issue), and my true friends have been nothing ut supporting and understanding of my mobility challenges. It's 'hey, we should get a taxi - Holla can't walk that far/up that hill', or 'I've checked out the venue, and we can get the bus to exactly opposite it.' I've been blown away by their support.
This is what you need from friends. You have every right to use it, and so glad to hear you're able to use it to get out and about.
Kick her to the kerb.

What a bitch!

She sounds a delightful friend 🤦🏻‍♀️ honestly I’m more than happy to subsidise people like yourself to be able to enjoy travel and life in general. Yes you might earn a good wage but in a good society your disability shouldn’t cost you extra/disadvantage you.

She's an idiot

My Dad has a blue badge and drives a new Jag (his pride and joy), someone had a right go at him about it a few weeks ago, 'because people with a sports car shouldn't have a blue badge' Wtaf!

your friend is a twat. and not your friend. i would have cried too. sorry :(

In fact as she very well knows I have epilepsy with grand mal seizures and absence seizures (effectively brief blackouts) and dyspraxia. Driving is simply not an option as there is a high chance of me killing myself or someone else. Taking the train, taxis, buses all the time is expensive and time consuming. After a seizure I'm usually quite disorientated and confused...

But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive

She actually sounds as thick as pig shit though, @cottonwoolbrain Do you actually WANT a friend who's as thick as pig shit?

Anyone who can fulfil the criteria for the disabled railcard is entitled to apply for it, no one out of those people is anymore, or less deserving of it.

Fellow epilepsian (totally made up word, I think?) here.

You friend is an arse, does she realise you had to pay for it and also have to pay for tickets? I had one but haven’t renewed it as I have my driving licence back (hopefully for good 🤞).

hope you’ve told her she’s a twat chops?

Keep your card, dump your friend

What an arsehole.

"But according to her I should get off my arse and learn to drive "

I think the DVLA would have something to say about that!

Your friend is an ignorant twat. I have a disabled railcard just because I’m partially deaf. I have absolutely no idea why deaf or partially deaf people qualify but we do, so fuck it.

Pretty much everyone is entitled to some kind of railcard these days. I'm not disabled but I get the same discount as a disabled person, because that's how railcards work for some reason. I don't get the card free but it's only cheap anyway. Don't see what her problem is tbh.

I don't think she's a friend

You should mock up a fake railcard for her reading something like “ignorant c*nt’s railcard, 20% off your rail fair when you belittle a friend with a health condition in public”.

My son has one for the same reason.

I’m glad you’re giving up this disablist twat instead of your rail card. There are wheelchair users who can safely drive a car- you cannot.

What a tosser. Please send her this thread and then block her.

Outrageously nasty as well as ignorant and offensive. You did the right thing. This is not the behaviour of a decent person let alone a friend .

OP, I’m so glad you posted. I also have epilepsy (same types of seizures as you) and I think it’s terrible the amount of ignorance that exists around our condition. Your ex-friend’s comments are a prime example. Invisible disability is often seen as unimportant or like we making it up.

It took me years to get a disabled rail card because I didn’t feel deserving enough, despite meeting the criteria.

Good for you for ditching the friend. Who the heck needs enemies with friends like those?!

Fuck your friend and her shitty attitude. I have several invisible conditions and disabilities as do my children. I can’t drive because of it and because of medication etc.

I am shocked almost daily at the attitudes of friends, family, colleagues etc and have been in uncomfortable positions trying to defend and justify our needs and use of various accessibility aids.

it is beyond hurtful when people judge you based on their limited understanding and don’t take trouble to educate themselves.
i fall on occasion, no rhyme nor reason to it but it is bloody frightening and frustrating.

i can’t imagine how it must feel to have seizures but you’d expect a friend to show kindness and compassion, not publicly berate you .
in sure if you’re anything like me, you’d love to be able to drive and have complete autonomy and freedom.

I have become more prone to letting people go who keep making me feel bad about things beyond my control, spend time with people who are kind and help you to feel safe.