Random man moved my beach bag and towel from my sun lounger and chucked them on another one behind

[Winter3000]

I'm on holidays.
I arrived at the little beach early for a swim.
There are free sun loungers there for everyone to use, plenty were free.

I put my bag and towel (scrunched up)on a free sun lounger at the front, closest to the water, lay there for a bit and then went for a swim. The water is very close by.
While I was in the water, I saw a young woman, a middle aged woman and a middle aged man arrive by my sun lounger.
The 2 women lay down on two empty sun loungers next to mine.
The man hovered around for a bit, he was standing there beside my sun lounger, looked around and then chucked my bag and towel on to a different sun lounger behind mine. He made to put his stuff on my sun lounger.
I saw it all.
I got out of the water went up to him and gave him a piece of my mind. Loudly. People started looking. He denied it but I told him I was watching him.
He looked embarrassed.
The younger woman said something, don't know what but it wasn't 'sorry', and I told her not to make excuses for him.
They all looked mortified.
A girl on her own nearby looked over approvingly.

People having a go at op about being super assertive and loud: have you met men? They are, on the whole, fucking awful to strange women who are demanding what is rightfully theirs.

Good for you op.

Well done OP. He won’t be doing it to another woman again anytime soon. Good to hear a woman standing up for her herself.

Leaving your stuff on a lounger on the beach while you go for a swim is different to bagsying (is that a word?!) beds by a pool while you bugger off for breakfast.

I often do this on holiday - it's a lovely time to swim, the beach crowd early on is different and most people with a brain cell know a reserved bed means someone has just left belongings for a short while

I don’t! I’m waiting for my coffee

@Treesandsheepeverywhere but how should the OP have delivered the message in order to not embarrass him in front of his wife & child? And the OP said she was loud which isn't necessarily shouting.

Op I am with you. Good for you for standing up for yourself.

I am quite sure if she had said please and thank you that man would not have moved and inch most possibly.

He could have used the sun lounger behind and put it at an angle so he could talk with their friends Or all of them use the ones further back.

All in all it got OP what she wanted which was her space back. Next time though, extending the towel on the sun lounger will make it even more obvious.

a tad ridiculous, don't you think?

you could have said - "oh i suppose you thought someone had done the "reserving" thing. But as you can see I've been swimming and I'd like my sunlounger back." instead of going from 0-100

Yes, don't be a pushover. No, don't be an idiot.

Leaving your stuff on a lounger on the beach while you go for a swim is different to bagsying (is that a word?!)

If it isn't I feel very Shakespearian, as he invented words all of the time.

And his spelling varied loads, too, just like mine does (even without the intervention of autocarrot). 😁

What does “piece of my mind” mean? I’m hoping you didn’t stoop to his level and you handled it with grace?

I think given there were other loungers and you were swimming then Yanbu but sun lounging hogging is a real issues in holiday places.

Me too ... and I ❤️ autocarrot!!

he looked around - presumably to see if anyone else was around who might be reserving the lounger? if he didn't connect a random woman in the water with a sun lounger, of course he moved the things.

We have countless threads here about the twats who get up at the crack of dawn, "reserve" the sun loungers, sleep until late then go down and claim them. With dozens and dozens of "dump the towels in the pool" answers.

And also dozens of threads about random angry people shouting at OP for no reason at all when a simple polite "I am still using that". And indeed - would it have been a huge issue to do that? or even just to say "i was using it, but it's ok there are others available"?

OP ..... "I was pretty loud.
I was standing there with my hands on my hips, right up in his face."

Also OP......

"I got out of the water went up to him and gave him a piece of my mind. Loudly. People started looking."

If you think this is not uncouth.....🤷‍♀️

Standing up for yourself doesn't = being loud.

Same as not being loud doesn't mean one is a wallflower.

Assertiveness, being firm and polite are options too.

I'm impressed you shouted with your hands on hips. Do you think he had a clue what you said?
Did you have to lie next to the women. Did he have to lie behind.
You.

What do you mean his level? He moved her stuff. That’s it. She was the one who came over all shouty and aggressive. Jesus, for some women it’s like women can do no wrong. Shit behaviour is always justified. It’s not. There is such a thing as appropriate reaction. And women are no more justified acting like utter thugs from the get go than men.

So you think it's best to go straight to shouting in someone's face, just in case he's 'one of those men'? I assume you would also have been OK with him shouting into OPs face had the tables been turned?

Or maybe its only OK to shout at men, not women?

I never said it wasn't uncouth, I said chucking someone's bag is uncouth. And I said speaking loudly is not necessarily shouting.

Assertiveness, being firm and polite are options too. I haven't said anything to the contrary.

I just don't get the point you made that's it's uncouth to talk to him loudly in front of his wife and daughter? Surely they witnessed him move the stuff in the first place? If my dad acted like a dick, I wouldn't be shocked if someone pulled him up on it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Are you equally impressed when a man gets up in a woman’s face and shouts.

Why? She bad been on the sun lounger and just went for a swim

Tbh I suspect that the only reason he reacted so mildly was because OP was shouting intensely otherwise he wouldn’t bother.
If they were speaking Russian what language did you use OP? (apart from clear body language 🙂)

What are you doing, trying to downplay what the op said she did, can’t you simply accept her version? Do you feel like women wouldn’t do what she said?

This. I’m not from the UK but if we hear someone shouting at people or their own kids abroad you know without looking they are Brits. 😂

What do you mean his level? He moved her stuff. That’s it.

Don't you think it's a tad confrontational for someone to chuck someone else's personal belongings?

@Lampslights maybe read my post, it's pretty obvious what question I'm asking...

I very much doubt it - I shoukd imagine most bystanders were laughing at the OP's over the top reaction. 😆😆

🙄 another one conflating assertion with aggression.

Tell the man you are using the sun lounger. No need to get in his face about it.

Maybe she should have walloped him in the face because, you know, men do that too.