Random man moved my beach bag and towel from my sun lounger and chucked them on another one behind

[Winter3000]

I'm on holidays.
I arrived at the little beach early for a swim.
There are free sun loungers there for everyone to use, plenty were free.

I put my bag and towel (scrunched up)on a free sun lounger at the front, closest to the water, lay there for a bit and then went for a swim. The water is very close by.
While I was in the water, I saw a young woman, a middle aged woman and a middle aged man arrive by my sun lounger.
The 2 women lay down on two empty sun loungers next to mine.
The man hovered around for a bit, he was standing there beside my sun lounger, looked around and then chucked my bag and towel on to a different sun lounger behind mine. He made to put his stuff on my sun lounger.
I saw it all.
I got out of the water went up to him and gave him a piece of my mind. Loudly. People started looking. He denied it but I told him I was watching him.
He looked embarrassed.
The younger woman said something, don't know what but it wasn't 'sorry', and I told her not to make excuses for him.
They all looked mortified.
A girl on her own nearby looked over approvingly.

*nice

He was an arse. You got cross. That’s ok. Hopefully he learned his lesson.

Not sure about racial stereotyping but I lived in Russia for a few years and people were quite shouty! But fair enough, maybe I am just a fishwife too….!

if someone chucks my personal belongings then I would have been pissed too.

It weird I know it is a new concept but women can be just as obnoxious as men, and no I will not pat the op and coo over how wonderful they they by screaming like a banshee and acting aggressive and no the op doesn't deserve a medal and I presume the op invaded the man's space going by what they posted?

Why are people being so mean to the OP?!

They are just being contrary, boredom likely.

You said he looked around to see if the person was nearby (didn't see you in the sea?) and then moved your stuff presuming you'd just bagged it for the day. Your responses on here don't show you as someone who'd discuss an issue in a polite way so I reckon he was right to not engage you in conversation.

What do you mean is that really a thing? That's such an odd thing to say, have you never seen someone with their hands on their hips?

it is a very common bit of body language. We use it to give ourselves the impression of being larger, often when in a confrontational situation.

Anyway YANBU OP. The sneaky, cheeky fucker deserved a good shouting at for pilfering a sunbed and touching someone else's belongings.

Mumsnet is chock full of misogynists so being a woman, there's always going to many people to tell you that you are wrong, even when it is a case as clear cut as this.

However you have broken the Mumsnet cardinal rule of not adhering to proper gender stereotypes by standing up for yourself. You should have had a big burly husband to hover behind you enabling you to remain laaadddylike. Ideally he would also work in the city earning six figures whilst you stay at home meal planning and prepping.

Of course in real life if you take someone's seat, or sunbed, or queue jump someone. Expect to get told off.

Maybe even by a woman.

You sound ridiculously proud of yourself 😂

Ive seen these things happen at least ten times in my 44 years. It’s a common occurrence and not worth the drama . He was rude for doing it but you are a drama queen for acting as though he personally attacked you. As there were lots of free sun beds, this was no more than a mild inconvenience.

'Looked on approvingly' 🤣🤣🤣

Why? She went for a swim. She didn't just dump her bag and leave.

Sorry op, but yabu! It's never OK to be so aggressive. He obviously assumed that you were hogging the bed, there was another one behind free so no harm done. Annoying - yes, but you lost the high ground unfortunately when you went straight to aggression.

This is just like what we encountered the other day, in a play park. One mum marched up to another, got in her face, all: ‘What did you say to my son? You don't tell my son off, you come and get me!! You’re lucky I don’t smack you round the face!’ Etc etc. Sure, the telling off woman may originally have been in the wrong (not sure what she told the boy off for, or if mum was identifiable to her) but certainly the shouty, aggressive, threatening lady just came off as the worst person to enter the area.

There is a way to deal with situations you don’t like/want. Your way, isn’t the right way. In your situation and the woman we saw, the other people all backed down. That is also pure luck, I reckon. If either of you came at me like that, I wouldn’t tolerate it. I wouldn’t match your unnecessary anger, but I wouldn’t have moved your things back, or got off the lounger until you apologised for how you spoke to me and started showing a bit of respect and decency. (That’s how we teach children and by your overreaction, I’d treat you as such).

Strawman argument. Just because the man war wrong, doesn’t mean the OP was right.
If you lived in Russia, you will be familiar with the expression Bazarnaja Baba which is exactly what OP behaved like.

Good for you OP.

The hypocrisy of so many posters saying women expressing their opinions on here and not adhering to #bekind is putting women down!

To repeat myself, at no point have I told the OP that she should have rolled over and let the man have his way. He was rude to move her stuff. However, her aggression was uncalled for and there are better ways she could have handled it. Being assertive means being clear and being respectful at the same time. Not shouting in someone’s face.

I whole-heartedly agree with this!!

I got out of the water went up to him and gave him a piece of my mind. Loudly.

Over a sunlounger? Really? right in his face screaming and shouting?

I think it’s pretty rude, disrespectful, and aggressive to chuck someone else’s belongings..

YANBU. Good for you. It's about time people stopped allowing themselves to be walked over by these self-important entitled twats who do what the hell they want and sod everyone else. They need standing up to!

Totally agree.

I always find it bemusing how posters extrapolate the situation. She was aggressive, the hotel would have taken his side, she shouted in his face, she can’t just claim a sun lounger all day, she acted like she was personally attacked, she was screaming and shouting. Really?

Read the OP, people. He moved her stuff and then lied about doing so!

Ive said this many times. Mumsnet is a trip.

Good for you OP.

I always find it bemusing how posters extrapolate the situation. She was aggressive, the hotel would have taken his side, she shouted in his face, she can’t just claim a sun lounger all day, she acted like she was personally attacked.

She went for a swim, why would that mean she’s claiming the lounger all day? It was her personal things that were moved.
Do people really just move other peoples bags off sun loungers when that person has gone for a swim etc?

No need for that sort of behaviour, surely OP? That sounds unnecessarily confrontational and totally out of proportion.

The chap had moved a bag and a towel, that's all. I don't think that warranted shouting in his face! Few things do. Just a polite "sorry, but this lounger is already occupied" would have done.

@W0tnow my favourite is “you could have just moved to a spare one”. Surely so could he! 😆