Random man moved my beach bag and towel from my sun lounger and chucked them on another one behind

[Winter3000]

I'm on holidays.
I arrived at the little beach early for a swim.
There are free sun loungers there for everyone to use, plenty were free.

I put my bag and towel (scrunched up)on a free sun lounger at the front, closest to the water, lay there for a bit and then went for a swim. The water is very close by.
While I was in the water, I saw a young woman, a middle aged woman and a middle aged man arrive by my sun lounger.
The 2 women lay down on two empty sun loungers next to mine.
The man hovered around for a bit, he was standing there beside my sun lounger, looked around and then chucked my bag and towel on to a different sun lounger behind mine. He made to put his stuff on my sun lounger.
I saw it all.
I got out of the water went up to him and gave him a piece of my mind. Loudly. People started looking. He denied it but I told him I was watching him.
He looked embarrassed.
The younger woman said something, don't know what but it wasn't 'sorry', and I told her not to make excuses for him.
They all looked mortified.
A girl on her own nearby looked over approvingly.

Sure. But if your not using the lounger then it's unreasonable to insist someone else can't use it. They are for people lounging on, not bag holders for people wanting to keep an eye on their stuff at the end of the day.

How can one use it if in the sea? Or are you meant to take your swim with your belongings & then find a different lounger? What about if you are a family & one goes swimming, do you all have to move?

She said she shouted close to his face. That's aggressive

She said she was right up in his face, she didn't say she was shouting. Why does the OP have to be polite to the man who chucked her stuff?

As @Gwenhwyfar said I don't think people who chuck others people stuff are the types to listen to a polite request. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Of course the OP was shouting. She said...

I was pretty loud.
I was standing there with my hands on my hips, right up in his face.

LOUD, and 'up in his face' is shouting. Certainly would have been called shouting, if a man had loudly yelled right in a woman's face.

I am cringing at the posters supporting what the OP did, and know for a fact that their responses would have been different if the genders has been reversed.

She said she was loud. By her own description she was aggressive.

She said she was loud, that still doesn't mean she was shouting or loudly yelling.

I don't think many women would chuck a random man's stuff off a lounger...

But again why does the OP have to be polite to the man who chucked her stuff?

How do you manage to be loud, stand with your hands on your hips and get right up to someone's face and not be aggressive?

She needed to be assertive not aggressive. Do you understand the difference?

Why do things always have to come down to men vs women on Mumsnet? Women can be every bit as ignorant and aggressive as men as was clearly the case in this instance!

"and know for a fact that their responses would have been different if the genders has been reversed."

Well that's because it is very different of course.

She needed to be assertive not aggressive. Do you understand the difference?

Do you understand that she didn't need to be in either position in the first place?

Yes, but she was. And in my opinion dealt with it badly. Now do you understand the difference between managing a situation assertively and aggressively?

Personally I don't chuck people's belongings and if I did I wouldn't assume to guess how people would react or should react. I don't think it's a wild notion but you do you.

The man moving OPs belongings shouldn't have done that but there could have been quite a simple explanation, such as he thought the owner of the bag etc perhaps left if there by accident (as in forgot to take it with them), or whatever other reason. I don't think there was any maliciousness behind it from what OP has written.

However, immediately jumping to being right in someone's face, being loud/shouting, hands on hips, "giving a piece of your mind" is aggressive, threatening and intimidating behaviour which in my opinion, is worse than what he initially did. OPs behaviour would have made any children in the vicinity frightened, it would have made other holiday makers feel uneasy and worried if it was going to escalate even further. Depending how close OP was to the man and how threatened he felt, it could even be considered an assault.

I would have the same opinion whether it was male or female that was aggressive or male or female that moved the belongings.

Still trying to decide whose behaviour is worse, his or yours.

So you don't understand the difference then.

If there were lots of free loungers, why didn't he just drag an extra one over, he shouldn't have touched your belongings

And this is why hogging sub beds works . Some folks think it’s akin to abuse to move someone’s stuff.

🙄

People reserving sun loungers is bloody annoying and selfish.

But you can't seriously be suggesting it's ok to just assume it's been reserved and move the persons stuff and if you do that person is wrong for saying to put it back?!

What's wrong with people that when they find an occupied lounger they can't leave another persons stuff alone?

We live in a weird world where people are allowed to live your stuff and we have to be all apologetic and persuasive about asking them not to.

I wouldn't have yelled in someone's face as it's not my style. But OP had every right to be annoyed at his audacity.

I don't think he should have moved her stuff.

Of course she has every right to ask him to put it back, but there's no need to be as instantly aggressive as the OP was.

And where exactly would you like people to put their things while they swim in the sea?

Was it necessary to shout and be aggresive in this situation? How did you now they spoke Russian, not, for example, Bulgarian/Serbian/Polish/Ukranian/Slovakian/Slovenian/Czech? All these languages sounds similar to British people. Sometimes even Portugese is sound like Russian

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