What does your network think about trans people?

[deeter]

Immediate family think it's all a bit silly, trans people should be treated well but you cannot change sex. Women's spaces should be protected etc.

But interestingly all of my university friends think trans women are women (did go to a London uni with well to do sorts).

I'm 31 btw.

A non issue .
As long a people are healthy , happy and caring it doesn't matter .
I do think there's a lot of mental health issues

And yes!

I find it slightly frustrating that college my DD goes to has spent thousands covering the building with rainbow flags but can’t afford to fix the lift so that those with mobility issues can actually access their education.

I meannn, you cant really police that can ya?

DD (17) has several trans friends and is very supportive and protective of them but disagrees with transwomen taking part in women's sport, she thinks it's unfair and dangerous. She doesn't feel her identity as a woman is affected by transwomen also calling themselves women.

Most of my age think people can do what they like, feel sorry for people who suffer for being different, try to be respectful of pronouns, think that transwomen are different from women but don't mind if they call themselves women, fairly laid back about changing rooms as long as there are individual cubicles with locks (we have unisex toilets at work) but think sports and prisons should be segregated. A lot of my friends and colleagues work in arts / media so perhaps skew liberal and maybe know more trans people than most, I dunno.

I don't mind "person with a cervix / uterus" or "menstruating people" etc because it's important that trans men look after their gynaecological health and if changing the terminology encourages that, I'm ok with it. Plus a lot of women don't have a uterus, so using "women" wasn't particularly accurate in that context anyway.

Largely the same as me. Feel however you like, like whatever you like, dress however you like, call yourself / ask to be called whatever you like, but if you have a penis you are fundamentally a Man and if you have a Vagina you are fundamentally a Woman, and that is irrefutable reality.

All my social circle (late 40s, early 50s mostly) think it is all dangerous nonsense and we are collectively bemused and enraged at how this has gained such traction.

My teenagers and their friends know it's all rubbish and say that it is only the attention-seeking, non-popular kids who are indulging and being indulged. There is a mix of derision and pity for the kids who go down this path.

All of us know that transwomen have no place in anything that is meant for actual, proper women. And none of us believe that transwomen are women.

Same here. Then you come on Mumsnet and read some of the views 🤯

A fairly big range. 2 different cousins on my mum's side have transitioned, one male, one female (huge family, lots of cousins). I don't think anyone would say they have always been their transitioned gender. The majority of the family are very upset about the younger female having surgery. For me I still think of them according to their sex, but I use preferred pronouns. I think the younger one's parents are incredibly strong, they are implacably opposed to the ideology and unconditionally supportive of their daughter.

And none of us believe that transwomen are women.

I don't think anyone actually believes that though, do they?

The types who say it, it seems more akin to a religious mantra that they repeat, rather than a genuine belief.

Everyone I know just takes the piss out of them and makes fun of them.

Not wanting to make this about your post simba, but it was one that covered this.

The issue is that male athletes and male activists used people’s willingness to use female pronouns for male people to convince sports international organisations, including IOC, that because people used kind pronouns, that it would be cruel for male people to be then excluded from female sports categories. Many women are completely unaware that this happened. But it is why Hubbard was at the Olympics. And why in the USA currently, a group of male cyclists have been consistently and regularly taking female podium places in cycling and other sports. It is why Emily Bridges ended up accusing British cycling of perpetuating trans genocide.

Female rape victims and female prisoners have been and still are forced to use female pronouns to describe their rapists and abusers. Women have been told they must say they were raped by a woman with her penis. Prisoners are threatened (and this is documented) with punishment if they call a male prisoner they are forced to be accommodated with by the wrong pronoun. And under current guidance, a few males can still be put in female prisons.

The use of pronouns is not harmless. Despite what people think and will say. Pronouns have been used to cause harm to women. And some of those women are truly the most vulnerable women in society.

as I said, not aimed at simba personally

Nobody I know in real life believes that men can become women or should have access to female only spaces. The teens are embarrassed they were hooked into it a few years ago, the middle aged women have never been hooked into it and the men all know what a woman is.

My on-line friendship group is very pro-trans, as in very much #bekind and seeing everything through a trans lens.

IRL - rarely comes up, I don't even discuss it with my teenagers.

I'm a teacher in a large secondary.

In general, it's a tiny issue and nobody really cares because most people are nice.

However, non-binary kids are generally seen as being attention-seeking and silly (this is amongst the kids. It has no impact on the teachers).

Some worry about trans kids. As others have said it's the same 'type' of kid who would have been self-harming or having an eating disorder a decade ago. I'd love to say that connection is as simple as being because the trans kids has mental health issues because they were hiding their true identity- however I think everyone feels like it's the other way round. It's another form of insecurity and body dismorphia. Not sure it's less harmful.

”My teenagers and their friends know it's all rubbish and say that it is only the attention-seeking, non-popular kids who are indulging and being indulged”
Wonderful. Now stop and think about how you all might feel if one of your teenagers had never been “popular” because they never felt they were in the right body. 🙄

@ShyPinkHelper I mean, it's policed today?

No one really cares. Everyone is too busy getting on with their own lives and worrying about more important stuff like the CoL and paying their bills. The trans stuff is way down on their list of priorities.

Wonderful. Now stop and think about how you all might feel if one of your teenagers had never been “popular” because they never felt they were in the right body.

You only have one body. By definition it cannot be anything other than the right one.

Yes, away of re-writing history to make women out as violent sex offenders. If Trans people don't understand these people give them a bad name and keep turning a blind eye I don't think they will get as much support as these become more frequent.

No one is born in the wrong body & no man can understand what it’s like to be a woman and no woman can understand what it’s like to be a man

wear what you want, call yourself what you like, but no one in the history of the planet has changed sex and I’m beyond bored of the fact that men have found yet another way to get women running around after them

TW are in no way the most vulnerable ppl on the planet

I'm glad I don't move in your circle

I have some sympathy - my dd is autistic and I can clearly see how autistic teenage girls are groomed into believing they are boys.

I also don’t care how anyone wants to present themselves, be happy, do what you want. I struggle with preferred pronouns when the person looks like the sex they are.

Most of my family/friends feel similarly to me. One family member goes beyond and has a far more conservative view and loves rigid gender stereotypes. Another family member thinks it’s silly, but works for the NHS and is happy to go along with it as she believes it’s harmless nonsense and fully trusts the NHS to know what they’re talking about.

I lost a lovely friend to this, she gave all her JK Rowling books away as she’s a dreadful transphobe (she has never read a word that JKR has written), and dropped me as I expressed concern for autistic girls and for women who seem to be losing their spaces. Being kind was far more important to her than either reality or safeguarding. Maybe I’ve dodged a bullet.

I would agree that the (far too many) girls i know who are transitioning are not those who have had a happy fun time at school. The best we can hope for is that they do find social transition helpful but also enough.

Last time I checked, no one had asked me what I had in my pants when I wished to relieve myself.

My network includes a fair amount of trans people, of both flavours.

The general concensus is do what you want, call yourself what you want but don't be an arse if people guess wrong, and don't start the stupid 'I want to be in boy mode now, girl mode tomorrow, banana mode next week and I expect everyone to guess correctly and use the correct terms or I'll throw my toys outta the pram

The general concenus on teens is that teenagers and pre-teens do not know who they are or where they fit in and thats normal. Puberty is a twat but its something you have to go through and we should not be meddling with anything that has permanent consequences until post puberty.

As far as gender specific spaces go - all my trans friends have suffered abuse and felt fear and do not want to cause anyone else to feel that. They try to tread carefully but if you're presenting as a woman, using the gents toilets is in some places likely to be highly unsafe (and it turns out if you look like a bloke but actually you're a lesbian with a short haircut, using the ladies has also proven to be highly unsafe). Until there are more unisex/single person facilities available this is going to be an issue for someone, somewhere, some of the time. No ones happy about it!