To have yelled and dragged child out

[Yellinginmuseum]

I know I was being unreasonable but I’m not sure how else I should have dealt with this.

I took my three year old and nearly 1 year old - not yet walking - to a museum. It wasn’t pram friendly so had to carry her round and she’s heavy. Three year old went round and enjoyed it and then wanted to go back in. It was a one way system so was trying to explain to him he couldn’t get in through the door he was trying. He ended up having a tantrum. Eventually he shot off and ran in through the right door, I tried to follow but a crowd of people got in my way and when I eventually caught up with him I was saying his name over and over and he was just blanking me. In the end I shouted STOP IGNORING ME and dragged him out

I am not sure what else I should have done.

I don't see what's wrong with what you did. He was being a little brat and you had to grab him and get him back. He definitely didn't deserve to stay there after running away from you.

A back pack with rein on it sounds good. Another time it might be a busy road.

Meh, sounds like a very average day out with 2 very young kids to me! I have twins and when they were little we had lots of days out that ended in meltdowns/tears/telling off etc.

in hindsight I wouldn’t have put pressure on myself to take my kids to somewhere where they are expected to behave and do what they’re told. The park is really the best place for them!

I feel foe you my just turned 2yr old has startes to ignore me. And yes some Reigns.
Also a baby wrap so your hands free is a great idea. Used it loads with DS.

It depends on what you mean by "dragged". If you took him firmly by the hand/wrist and firmly walked him out, or picked him up and carried him, fine. Actual dragging is violent and not acceptable. I teach young children and have made a safeguarding referral in the past when I saw a parent literally drag a child across the playground by the arm.

You were good to even attempt that outing I’d say! It’s hard work carrying a heavy baby.

I wish I’d taken the baby wrap but I didn’t think. Even so I’d struggle to keep up with her in it. I did have one of those backpacks but he refused to move. He isn’t generally prone to running off - was really stressful.

Some occasions are crap- not at all the lovely outing you were envisioning!

What I would do if I found myself there again, is to hold the scruff of the clothes and stand still. You can grip pretty hard, unlike an arm, and he can’t really get hurt. I’d say no and just resist until he pays attention.

It’s quite tough, but explaining only works when DC is listening. If he isn’t in the mood to listen then don’t waste your breath. Just stand still and let him wear himself out until he listens.

Im passed that phase but my god I remember them, they turn in to little demons. Don't be hard on yourself, all mums have been there

I don't see what else you can do in a situation like that OP.

Yes reins if not reliable recall (as with dogs and leads I always think), backpack or sling/hip wrap for baby, and absolutely you had to grab him, but shouting probably not necessary (though I get you must have been stressed) and you actually in my experience feel calmer later on if you don't shout but just grab and remove. It's already evident to others and him that he's not doing what he's asked to do, and shouting can then make you feel you've behaved badly so you end up apologising to the child etc... I found silent removal and a quiet talk was effective.

Hey OP
sounds stressful but for what’s its worth you aren’t the first parent and won’t be the last.
Toddlers are hard work! Be easy on yourself

@Yellinginmuseum I'm not a yeller, I'm more of a low stern voice & a 'look' that says 'don't even think about disobeying me'. It's probably more scary than your yelling! Probably less drawing of attention.

But it makes no difference. We all just do what we need to do to get the situation under control. Anyone that doesn't like it can offer practical help or mind their own business!!

id give the museum some feedback.

You definitely didn't need to yell, "Stop ignoring me!" at a three year old...

Toddlers have tantrums, wouldn’t say he was being “a little brat”

@Whatsmyusername1235 well, he wasn't exactly being a little angel either so we'll agree to disagree on that one.

As a mum who ended up carrying kids under arms out of many attractions and supermarkets while either fuming or crying. You are not alone. You will look back one day and laugh at dc being a wee toad

We’ve all been there! And any parent who says they haven’t is either lying or suffering from memory loss!

Honestly I lost DC 1 on multiple occasions despite being a perfectly adequate parent.

I didn’t ever lose DC2.

DC1 was designed as a product tester for parent robots I reckon, designed to find and highlight every flaw.

We’ve all been there. Those that say they haven’t are lying.

We can’t be expected to keep our cool at all times and model perfect parenting 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve been in your shoes many many times - as long as you’re not being violent or screaming abuse at them I think you’re being completely reasonable.

Toddlers push buttons and we’re only human.

I once carried my 2 year old kicking and screaming out of a church like a suitcase, hanging on to the back of his dungerees.
Then stuck him next to a tombstone outside and let him yell in out while I waited in a bench for the fury to subside. Little fecker.

I thought you were going to say it was someone else’s child you dragged out! Not unreasonable at all. Sometimes all you can do is to remove them from the situation.

I certainly would have said exactly the same op. A child needs to learn to behave to keep them safe. Public outings , car parks etc.
I was strict with mine on safety and they probably appreciate it now (7 and 10).
I've yelled at mine before for crossing the road without me saying go. We then watched safety videos *she was older than 3.
I'd try and explain it to your child in terms of safety.

10 years later I now laugh about having to carry ds surfboard style home from the shops while he was having a full on tantrum at age 3. I could have cried at the time.