To have yelled and dragged child out

[Yellinginmuseum]

I know I was being unreasonable but I’m not sure how else I should have dealt with this.

I took my three year old and nearly 1 year old - not yet walking - to a museum. It wasn’t pram friendly so had to carry her round and she’s heavy. Three year old went round and enjoyed it and then wanted to go back in. It was a one way system so was trying to explain to him he couldn’t get in through the door he was trying. He ended up having a tantrum. Eventually he shot off and ran in through the right door, I tried to follow but a crowd of people got in my way and when I eventually caught up with him I was saying his name over and over and he was just blanking me. In the end I shouted STOP IGNORING ME and dragged him out

I am not sure what else I should have done.

Oh behave yourself, safeguarding my arse.

My daughter used to love swimming in the sea, so we'd go, then she'd refuse to get out, knowing I wouldn't want to go in to get her. Just bob up and down shouting 'no' with all the other people on the beach staring at us and me getting redder and shoutier. Happy times!

Really not sure what your aibu is about - virtually everyone with a 3 year old has occasionally raised their voice. Your DC was ignoring you, that’s not on as it could be dangerous so you ended up raising your voice and removing them. Personally I think more harm is done by parents who are afraid to ever discipline their children and they end up as entitled and unpleasant children who are also miserable because having no boundaries makes children stressed.

You did well taking a 1 and 3 year old out to a museum. And without a pushchair!

I can't see what you did wrong here? My boy is one of the naughtiest toddlers I've ever met. You have to shout sometimes.

In a busy place like a museum, it's a safety issue if he gets lost. You're chasing around with another big baby on your hip. He's not listening. Damn right you'd be dragged out!

Bless her 😂

1 + 3 is awful. It gets better. Have a big glass of something nice tonight. Tomorrow is another day

You’re over thinking your own parenting. You just put yourself in a stressful situation. Lesson learned. Next time you’ll be more prepared.

I call it the terrible 3s

Every single one of mine was the same, it's like they hit 3 yrs and decide that legging it off is the thing to do, no concept of danger at all.

Sometimes you have to shout, otherwise they don't hear you as they're focused on getting away and mid tantrum!

If you use a softy spoken voice that's not going to get their attention, a quick shout stops them in their tracks.

It's not like you're running about daily screaming your head off so now and then is fine if it keeps them safe .

You had a nearly 1 year old in your arms, that's a heavy weight, you couldn't carry 2 children, you couldn't leave one outside while you ran back in, you couldn't bring the pram in, nothing else you could have done.

I remember one of mine shooting across a car park into oncoming cars, I let a roar, more in fright and to stop them immediately, one of my brothers was with me, he didn't speak to me for 8 months because it was according to him child abuse 🙄 I do enjoy watching him manage his 4 kids now while mine are grown, there's many shouts and raised voices.

You did what you had to do. Nothing wrong with that.

Maybe invest in a couple of reins/harness (for when the little one starts walking too) for your next outing.

You were lucky he ran from you somewhere inside and not in the middle of traffic so now you know he might do a runner again in future so best to be prepared.

Might also be worth explaining road safety/stranger danger to him too. It might help him understand why he shouldnt go out of sight.

Don't beat yourself up about it.

I think you did the right thing.

Kids sometimes need to know how their behaviour has affected you. You could talk to a 3yo until you're blue in the face about running off and danger, etc, but they're more likely to pay attention to the short, sharp correction and being hauled away from their course.

Many, many women have "been there". Don't feel embarrassed.

We've all been there op, don't beat yourself up.

Be kind to yourself. It was just a stressful situation. When your toddler tuns off your life flashes before your eyes and you end up having a kneeler reaction. Don't worry x

Well done.
But do get some reins.

This is the perfect answer. It's not helpful for people to say they're a brat.

There’s probably proper parenting things you could have done but in that situation I just hope you get to put the feet up tonight. Two that young is sooo difficult!!! X

You didn’t do anything wrong.

Shouting isn’t ideal because it makes you feel bad but it’s not going to harm your child.

Reins were a life changer for me at that age.
It literally just stops them running off and you can just clip them to your belt or something so you don’t feel like you’re holding a lead.

I’d also have a baby carrier or something for the youngest, in case it ever happens again.

You have a 1yo and a 3yo.
I do not envy you and I’m surprised that this isn’t a daily occurrence for you.

Do not feel bad because it’s not easy and it sounds like you’re doing a great job.

You did what you had to do

Really!? 🤣 it’s going to get worse, don’t be ridiculous they need telling off and learn that some things are not ok. Get over it

Get some toddler reigns for your toddler and then he can't run away or wriggle out of your hand

Sounds fine to me. It wasn't a situation where you had time to find your calmest self and have a patient chat with him.

I've read your updates but not previous comments - next time brief before you go in "you need to listen to mummy or we'll have to hold hands/leave" and have one year old in the carrier. His name alone doesn't give him information on what you want - "NAME stand still" or "NAME sit down" might have been more effective. There's exactly two years between mine - I feel your pain.

You're fine OP

I'd have been ragin'

Funnily enough I was in the London Docklands Museum recently and there was a mother with a baby and an about two year old - think there was a father too. I have no idea why people take children as young as this to museums of this kind. The young child ended up just screaming and then the mother was even worse shouting at the child. It's a PITA for people who actually want to listen to reels etc.

That's usually no. 2's job

Sounds very reasonable.