To have yelled and dragged child out

[Yellinginmuseum]

I know I was being unreasonable but I’m not sure how else I should have dealt with this.

I took my three year old and nearly 1 year old - not yet walking - to a museum. It wasn’t pram friendly so had to carry her round and she’s heavy. Three year old went round and enjoyed it and then wanted to go back in. It was a one way system so was trying to explain to him he couldn’t get in through the door he was trying. He ended up having a tantrum. Eventually he shot off and ran in through the right door, I tried to follow but a crowd of people got in my way and when I eventually caught up with him I was saying his name over and over and he was just blanking me. In the end I shouted STOP IGNORING ME and dragged him out

I am not sure what else I should have done.

I remember a similar moment when DS2 was just 3, DS1 (aged 4) ran one way DS2 the other while I was BFing the baby. DS2 managed to run into a fecking lift and I just got my foot in the door before it went off. He was definitely shouted at!

Keep up the good work. A bit less of this namby pamby style parenting.

as a mum of a (nearly) 3 year old and a 1 year old, this sounds like most of my attempts at going out with them on my own. dont worry op, its normal 😅

I’m in the midst of this too. I try and take them to interesting places like you and I just wanted to say, you did a great job. Kept little one safe. We all shout sometimes and you did it because he wasn’t safe. Keep going mama! You’re doing amazing things for your kids.

It's a bloody difficult age, we just muddle through.

My child was a horror for running off. Worst times were using a public toilet and me needing to wee and he kept unlocking the door and bolting. Every single time. I never worked out a strategy for that.

Sounds like one of those days......we all had them.

Hell my youngest is 22 and I still find myself thinking I'm glad it's not one of mine being an arse today whenever I hear a kid booting off 🤣🤣🤣

OP I feel for you, I at one point had a runner 3 yo, an 18mo, and a newborn. It's really hard and good on you for taking them out. If you talk to your 3yo a few days later about the museum trip, I can almost guarantee what they remember is NOT the two minutes you are beating yourself up about.
As for what you could do differently. A good baby carrier can be life (and back) saving. I used to keep one tucked in the car/pram so I always had it on hand.
But another suggestion - ask for help!! Having had a runner myself, I would cheerfully help another mum in that situation- step in front of the runaway small person, get down low and make a barrier of my arns, and tell them 'your grown up needs you'. I don't always, unless it's a dangerous situation like a road, because I never know which mum will appreciate it. But if that mum called out 'please stop my son' - I'd be right on it!!

Always reins. Mine would face plant but then get bored so walk again. I struggled with the backpack reins so went back to the traditional ones.

I personally think that shouting at your child in a public setting is not only awkward for you and the general public, but also potentially harmful to the child's self-confidence.

Also, a museum is supposed to be a quiet time for learning and appreciation.

I’d have done the same. Don’t worry.

This thread has made me feel so much better. Out with 2 year old DD today who dropped to her knees in the middle of a busy road while having a tantrum. Lights were about to change and I was already frazzled, tired and carrying lots of bags so I had to half carry half drag her by the shoulder to get across the road.
Have been feeling horrifically guilty all day but this thread has reassured me. OP as others have said you’re only human and these types of situations can be incredibly stressful!

She was in traffic! Hauling her to safety by any means necessary was definitely your only course of action. Calmly talking through a tantrum in the supermarket is one thing but there is no time for that when it's not safe.

Yelling after a child who's running away in a busy public place is not going to 'harm his self confidence'.

oh stop it 😂 if a kids running off i’d rather damage their self confidence a bit than let them disappear off into a crowd of strangers ffs

I understand raising your tone to get the child's attention, but to shout at the child once they've stopped is a bit too far. Quite unpleasant for all involved. Maybe grabbing the child's arm would have been sufficient? Although I understand that also holding a baby in that scenario would be difficult.

This. Plenty of other places to go that a child would actually enjoy. Madness to take a 1yo with limited pram access. I wouldn't do that unless I had another pair of hands to help. And if I didn't then there's somewhere else to go.

He has learnt that if he runs away from you, Mummy gets cross. That is an important lesson to learn at his age and not a particularly tough one. Nothing bad actually happened to him

Madam Swizzler, that's a dangerous mindset to have when in a museum. I'd understand if it was on the street with the druggos and hipsters with their lattes and pop art. But a museum is a sophisticated place of intellectuals and scholars.

God, this has just reminded me of when I was queueing for passport control on arrival in an airport, and three-year-old DD bolted past the passport booths and out the other side. I just totally froze until one of the police officers shouted at me to go and get her. 😁
I think I thought I would be arrested or gunned down or something for trying to break into the country if I ran after her. 😂

Years ago I remember my toddler got free of My hand and bolted out of a shop towards a busy road. As I chased him I screamed his name which of course made him stop and look terrified....and made all the young shop assistants stop and glare at me as if I was a monster. Honestly, toddlers can be so unreasonable and such a danger to themselves. Anyone who's got kids would sympathise with your situation op.

It’s really difficult, both of my children were runnners. It was really sad as I couldn’t do outings like that unless there were 2 adults there and it is really upsetting when the day ends in shouting and tears because it was so stressful managing two of them going in different directions.

No judgement from me, my DD (now 11) was a handful at that age and I lost it a few times in public. Children love to press our buttons! It does get easier OP 😊

Shit from the museum that they have no buggies. I remember we went for a (quite expensive) weekend at Warwick castle when DS was small and they made me leave my buggy out in the rain. I was furious & also concerned it might get nicked! Had to carry him all afternoon and whilst helping my disabled relative who was also there. Whilst carrying change bag and child. I won’t go back because of that! You did nothing wrong.. well done for attempting the outing!! Sounds like your 3yo had a great time. Xx

Calling someone's child 'a brat' is hard to read in 2024. It's always justified with a 'well, they were, weren't they?' or something similar.

It sounds so ill informed and lacking in any real common sense. The OP's child behaved like virtually every child has at some point.

You did what you could in the moment OP, go easy on yourself a bit.

Normal mumming. Bless you op don’t beat yourself up! Unfortunately children just being children can be incredibly stressful for adults and we don’t always keep our cool. If you’re posting this I presume this is out of the ordinary for you but honestly this is my every day life with 3 under 6.