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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have yelled and dragged child out

155 replies

Yellinginmuseum · 16/02/2024 15:49

I know I was being unreasonable but I’m not sure how else I should have dealt with this.

I took my three year old and nearly 1 year old - not yet walking - to a museum. It wasn’t pram friendly so had to carry her round and she’s heavy. Three year old went round and enjoyed it and then wanted to go back in. It was a one way system so was trying to explain to him he couldn’t get in through the door he was trying. He ended up having a tantrum. Eventually he shot off and ran in through the right door, I tried to follow but a crowd of people got in my way and when I eventually caught up with him I was saying his name over and over and he was just blanking me. In the end I shouted STOP IGNORING ME and dragged him out Sad

I am not sure what else I should have done.

OP posts:
pickledandpuzzled · 16/02/2024 16:30

Pandadunks · 16/02/2024 16:23

I once carried my 2 year old kicking and screaming out of a church like a suitcase, hanging on to the back of his dungerees.
Then stuck him next to a tombstone outside and let him yell in out while I waited in a bench for the fury to subside. Little fecker.

Dungarees are absolute life savers. They are the best parenting hack ever.

pickledandpuzzled · 16/02/2024 16:32

I’m reminded of one DT under an arm, the other holding my hand nicely. DT screams to be put down, which I did. He threw himself on the floor only to discover the floor was wet so he roared about that. Back under the arm he went. Those were the days.

Spinet · 16/02/2024 16:32

Great that you took your son to a museum he loved so much he wanted to go back in! Gloss over the other bits. We've all been there.

PhoenixStarbeamer · 16/02/2024 16:32

Yanbu op. Hopefully it would have shocked him in to realising he was naughty.

DrunkenKoala · 16/02/2024 16:34

Saw a toddler in Sainsbury’s yesterday running around all the checkouts whilst his grandmother was trying to get to him. Eventually someone blocked him and grandmother was able to retrieve him - she didn’t let go of his hand after that, luckily he was compliant for her.
I had to abandon my shopping once as DS legged it from the checkouts towards the doors - had to carry him back like he was a rugby ball and stuff him in his buggy. He wasn’t usually a bolter I think he just saw a break for freedom and took it - little sod.

puzzledout · 16/02/2024 17:31

OnlyFannys · 16/02/2024 15:58

Im passed that phase but my god I remember them, they turn in to little demons. Don't be hard on yourself, all mums have been there

This 100%

Andthereyougo · 16/02/2024 17:39

I’m just in awe of you taking two very small children to a museum during half term week. And shouting stop ignoring me? No problem, child was ignoring you. They should really make those extending dog leads for children but reins or a wrist strap rein if they still exist might help.

ColleenDonaghy · 16/02/2024 17:40

3 and 1 nearly killed me. Much harder than 2 and 0 or 4 and 2.

(5 and 3 now and there are days it approaches easy!)

I'm mainly just full of admiration that you attempted a day out with them both solo, I avoided taking them both to the park by myself.

Running away isn't safe so you had to act.

It's all good and you're a fucking amazing mum for even trying.

fuckssaaaaake · 16/02/2024 17:41

2mummies1baby · 16/02/2024 16:17

You definitely didn't need to yell, "Stop ignoring me!" at a three year old...

If they're not listening and can't hear you, raising your voice might be the only way to get their attention in a busy place. Unless you're perfect like you obvs are. Then you can sing a lil song and blow glitter at them

Frangipanyoul8r · 16/02/2024 17:42

My eldest was a runner. We went everywhere with a sling for my youngest and rucksack reins for my then 3 year old. If she didn’t want to wear the reins, we didn’t go out. I could only let her off the reins in enclosed spaces like parks with fences where I had eyes on all exits…. I am SO glad we are over that now. Don’t be hard on yourself.

Frangipanyoul8r · 16/02/2024 17:43

It’s fine to raise your voice if a child isn’t safe. You need to get their attention quickly. Just take a minute to explain why you raised your voice and the dangers of running off in busy public spaces.

CattingAbout · 16/02/2024 17:46

Yes in your situation I'd most likely have done the same, OP. Except wild horses wouldn't make me attempt to take a 3 year old and a 1 year old to a museum in the first place!

Patrickiscrazy · 16/02/2024 17:47

Child free one here, however, 3 and 1 seem too young for a museum.

Original poster
Yellinginmuseum · 16/02/2024 17:48

The 1 year old is. 3 year old loved it; special children’s one.

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 16/02/2024 17:49

Sometimes you have to act in the moment. You needed to grab him to keep him away from danger. That's what you did
Don't beat yourself up about it x

AnnieBuddyHere · 16/02/2024 17:51

You did nothing wrong at all OP.

I work in a museum and to be honest, I wish more parents were like you.

BertieBotts · 16/02/2024 17:54

I would have just picked him up, rather than doing the name calling. Ideally stopped to put 1yo in buggy first then left them to retrieve 3yo. But also, recognise this is easy to say from my sofa, when you're right in the middle of the tantrum then you're normally stressed to the max and it does tend to get in the way of rational thinking! And if you didn't have the option to leave the 1yo behind then it would be harder to pick both up at once. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

2mummies1baby · 16/02/2024 17:58

fuckssaaaaake · 16/02/2024 17:41

If they're not listening and can't hear you, raising your voice might be the only way to get their attention in a busy place. Unless you're perfect like you obvs are. Then you can sing a lil song and blow glitter at them

Show quote history

Raising your voice to get a child's attention is fine, but just call their name- shouting, "Stop ignoring me!" at a tantruming toddler is going to achieve precisely nothing.

I totally understand that people do stupid things like that in stressful situations, but OP said she didn't think she could've done anything differently, which I disagree with.

Original poster
Yellinginmuseum · 16/02/2024 17:58

No you wouldn’t Bertie. It wasn’t pram friendly so I couldn’t pick him up and hold the baby as well.

I feel bad as he wasn’t being a brat. Just enjoying it. I could have dealt with it better but I was getting stressed out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yellinginmuseum · 16/02/2024 17:59

OP said she didn't think she could've done anything differently ???

OP posts:
2mummies1baby · 16/02/2024 18:01

Yellinginmuseum · 16/02/2024 17:59

OP said she didn't think she could've done anything differently ???

Sorry, that's how I interpreted the final sentence in your first post:

I am not sure what else I should have done.

wutheringkites · 16/02/2024 18:01

Pandadunks · 16/02/2024 16:22

We’ve all been there! And any parent who says they haven’t is either lying or suffering from memory loss!

This.

2mummies1baby · 16/02/2024 18:03

2mummies1baby · 16/02/2024 18:01

Sorry, that's how I interpreted the final sentence in your first post:

I am not sure what else I should have done.

Show quote history

And, in fact, the first sentence:

I know I was being unreasonable but I’m not sure how else I should have dealt with this.

Original poster
Yellinginmuseum · 16/02/2024 18:03

I am not sure what else I could have done hardly says I couldn’t have done anything differently. That’s why I’m posting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yellinginmuseum · 16/02/2024 18:03

I literally say I know I was being unreasonable - please stop being provocative.

OP posts:
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