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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you feel about women that's don't wear Make-up ?

1000 replies

flutterby1 · 16/02/2024 11:34

Just wondering what your true JUDGY thoughts are? I don't wear makeup often I'm in mid forties. How am I perceived? Lazy? Frumpy? Not caring? Boring? Can't be bothered to make an effort for others ? Or confident ? Perceived as being ' pretty enough' ?

OP posts:
neverfair · 16/02/2024 19:57

Very strange to think being being judged for not wearing makeup, may be it's job dependent?

I get more judged for wearing makeup in my field (engineering).

godmum56 · 16/02/2024 19:58

I am 70 and have never worn makeup. I hate the feel of it on my face. I am a religious cleanse and moisturiser user though.

TeenLifeMum · 16/02/2024 19:59

Quite a few of my friends don’t wear makeup. I don’t think about it but wish I wasn’t so reliant on it to feel confident.

extrasushiplease · 16/02/2024 20:02

The only time I even notice is when I'm envying especially nice skin.

IchGlaubMeinSchweinPfeift · 16/02/2024 20:03

Interesting
I rarely wear make-up. I never knew how to do it properly and nobody taught me so I was too worried of making myself look awful that I just never really did it. I must say though, it's not something I notice one way or the other on other women.

BreatheAndFocus · 16/02/2024 20:07

Surnami · 16/02/2024 18:58

I don't wear it but not because I can't be bothered - I just never seemed to be able to figure out how.

I tried watching tutorials etc but it just never looked the same as theirs did. And because I am a person who doesn't wear make up, the times I do, people notice and comment and it makes me feel really embarrassed as I assume I've done it badly.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or I'm not used to seeing myself with it.

But also, and I'm not being purposefully dim here but I don't really "get" make up.

I can kind of understand things like foundation and concealer if it's hiding eg acne. But on the whole it feels odd to put a paint or powder on my face that slightly alters the colour.

I know that people try to match their skin colour but if the majority of people did this to perfection then presumably you'd have no clue if they were wearing make up or just naturally had clearer skin. Judging from the comments here, most people (if they actively paid attention) would be able to tell that someone is wearing make up or not.

I don't know. When I think about it it just feels so bizarre that it's socially expected for one sex to paint their faces.

Then there's the other stuff. I've never understood blusher. I'm not sure why having red or pink cheeks looks better than not.

The contouring stuff is impressive in the sense people can make their face look a different (not necessarily better) shape and I'm impressed by their skills but that's about it.

Mascara - is having longer eyelashes better than not? Again not being obtuse but generally I think a "normal" length eyelash looks better personally - when I see people with noticeable mascara or fake lashes I notice it looks different but not better.

Eyeliner is the same. I feel like it looks odd on me. Then I become really caught up in how odd it is to add colour around my eyes. Nobody naturally has black/brown etc circles around their eyes so why is adding it a good thing?

And lipstick. Why is the colour I change my lips to nicer than the colour my lips already are? Surely it's just that it's different? If I had different colour lips, would I be wearing lipstick to change them to the colour of my current ones?

To be clear I am not insulting people who like the way make up look and I'm not saying they look bad. I'm saying that to me they simply look different to people who don't. Different - not worse and not better.

When someone's wears make up I feel the same way as I do about people having tattoos or piercings. They're choosing something they like for their appearance and that's fine. I assume they get it to express themselves and their identity. They're not getting tattoos to look more attractive right? I feel it would make more sense if it's the same for make up.

But what confuses me is the narrative that wearing make up makes you inherently look better / less tired / washed out and it's brave not to.

Does that mean that all men look tired and washed out? If so is it that "tired" is actually a normal human face? And we have become so accustomed to seeing women with make up that it's seen as normal?

I think make up makes you look like you have product on your face. Product you've chosen to present and express yourself in the same way you choose your clothes or jewellery or tattoos or whatever. Which can be cool.

I just don't agree that it's a given that wearing make-up is more attractive than not.

And I'm not just speaking about people like me who are bad at it. I'm also talking about people who are good at it. Their skills are impressive but I feel the same way as I do about someone who can do any other skill well. Is it a universal truth that make up improves their appearance rather than just changes it?

If you wore a little make up I’d think you’d get it more. My ‘foundation’ (it’s actually a BB cream) is invisible. I’m lucky enough to have good skin and no blemishes anyway but when I wear my BB cream, it looks like my skin but better. It looks smoother, lit from within and just better. It isn’t a different colour from my skin, it genuinely does look completely natural.

When I was younger, I used to help friends do their makeup (women who’d never used it). I loved doing it. It didnt mean I slathered them with orange foundation, magenta eyeshadow and thick black lines round their eyes, it meant I carefully chose things I felt were subtle but would enhance their features - a bit like choosing a colour of clothes because it brings out the colour of your eyes or whatever. The majority said, “I look likeme” and carried on with the make up, sometimes adding more over time.

The idea that you have to choose between being completely bare-faced or painted up like a pantomime dame is just wrong. The YouTubers overdo their make up because they’re in bright lights. I can use the same products and I wouldn’t standout to you in the street as ‘wearing make up’.

dandeliondandy · 16/02/2024 20:08

Their face, their choice. I have never made comments about someone not wearing makeup but I have been on the receiving end of judgy comments because I do wear makeup myself, though subtle and light as I have got older - along the lines of 'Oh! WE don't put that MUCK on our faces!'

Porfirio · 16/02/2024 20:09

I've worn make up every day with the exception of a couple of hospital stays, since 1979.

I love make up and I have a huge collection of lipsticks.

I enjoy the choosing, buying, applying and how it looks on me.

My sisters, sister in law are the same and so are our daughters and make up shopping and discussing is a an enjoyable bond we have together.

But like any hobbies, passions or interests, I accept that not everyone has the same interest or enjoyment so it is of no concern whether people outside of my family wear make up or not!

powerfullymoving · 16/02/2024 20:10

I don't even notice

I notice women who wear heavy make up or when the make up is clearly not well applied or very long lashes

HesterFields · 16/02/2024 20:16

Couldn’t care less if you don’t wear make up.

I love it, I love reading about it, applying it, watching videos about it, (Lisa Eldridge is amazing), I’m 52, I have really great skin because I look after it (and genes), make up just enhances what I have and I enjoy it. If you don’t? I don’t care.

Dweetfidilove · 16/02/2024 20:20

I feel it’s not my business.

Some look good, some don’t. Same as women in makeup.

To each his own 🤷🏽‍♀️

theduchessofspork · 16/02/2024 20:23

Don’t be daft

no one cares

ShrinkingDaffodil · 16/02/2024 20:24

Jealous…. I wish I felt confident enough to leave the house without make up on to cover my terrible skin and none existent eyebrows & lashes.

Differentstarts · 16/02/2024 20:25

Nobody notices no make up the only thing people notice is heavy makeup.

WhycantIkeepthisbloodyplantalive · 16/02/2024 20:27

I wear only a little mascara so don't really notice others when not wearing make-up. I do notice people who wear a lot of make up though, I think if not applied properly Just looks like a lot of muck stuck to the face.

NeelyOHara1 · 16/02/2024 20:30

The true "rebels" are women/girls under 20 deciding to give the slap a slip.

Ineedanewsofa · 16/02/2024 20:31

Genuinely? Jealous. 100%, green eyed monster jealousy. I have rosacea and would give anything to feel comfortable enough to go to work or “out out” without make up. As it is I will occasionally nip to the shop or go to the gym without make up but having had small kids ask “why does that lady have such a red face?” when I’m just out living my life, being able to go out bare faced feels like a dream

BadCovers · 16/02/2024 20:34

Ineedanewsofa · 16/02/2024 20:31

Genuinely? Jealous. 100%, green eyed monster jealousy. I have rosacea and would give anything to feel comfortable enough to go to work or “out out” without make up. As it is I will occasionally nip to the shop or go to the gym without make up but having had small kids ask “why does that lady have such a red face?” when I’m just out living my life, being able to go out bare faced feels like a dream

I’m with you, @Ineedanewsofa.

tachetastic · 16/02/2024 20:38

Octomingo · 16/02/2024 19:47

When I was younger, I didn't look that different when I had make up on.
But now I'm in my 40s, you can definitely see the difference. I can look rough as fuck without make up. Doesn't stop me going out without it, but I look better on makeup days. And by better, I mean less washed out and exhausted.

@Octomingo Doesn't stop me going out without it, but I look better on makeup days. And by better, I mean less washed out and exhausted.

Out of interest, do you think men look washed out and exhausted?

I often hear women say they look pale and washed out when they don't have make-up on, but I rarely think a healthy man looks pale and washed out (and I assume make-up is still relatively rare amongst men).

I do understand that the look a woman is going for is different to that of a man, but I find it interesting that a natural woman's face is seen as washed out when a man's isn't.

abouttogetlynched · 16/02/2024 20:43

I feel envious that non make up wearers feel so comfortable with themselves that they don’t seem it necessary

BedZwift · 16/02/2024 20:45

I think I actually look worse with make up on now I’m over 40. It never seems to look natural, and it goes in creases and stuff and stays there. I’m sure that’s just me though, because I don’t care enough about it to do a decent job

Meowandthen · 16/02/2024 20:46

I don’t feel anything. Why would I?

Bigcoatweather · 16/02/2024 20:50

I do wear makeup. It’s a ritual that helps me wake up on a morning and I look better with it.
I have literally no thoughts or judgements about women who don’t wear make up.
I would hope they have no thoughts or judgements about me. My make up is very natural with heavier eyeliner.

Flowerfairie · 16/02/2024 20:55

Unimaginative and lacking in aesthetic imagination.

Allwelcone · 16/02/2024 21:02

SisterAgatha · 16/02/2024 14:30

I think comments like this, and judgement on other peoples looks which affect you in no way at all, shows a of lack of critical thinking. Why is someone else’s face so upsetting to you?

self awareness indeed. You may need to look at what is missing in yourself.

@SisterAgatha I guess....maybe we do all form opinions of each other somehow, do you sincerely never judge anyone or form opinions about anyone or anything? I was just beong honest ----and was judged for it by you

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