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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you feel about women that's don't wear Make-up ?

1000 replies

flutterby1 · 16/02/2024 11:34

Just wondering what your true JUDGY thoughts are? I don't wear makeup often I'm in mid forties. How am I perceived? Lazy? Frumpy? Not caring? Boring? Can't be bothered to make an effort for others ? Or confident ? Perceived as being ' pretty enough' ?

OP posts:
fetchacloth · 16/02/2024 19:19

Wearing (or not) wearing make up is a personal decision.
I like to wear some minimal make up most of the time but I don't judge those women that choose not to wear any.

mrsDracoMalfoy · 16/02/2024 19:20

That they're lucky. I'd love not to wear make up or feel the need to wear it.

verabarbleen · 16/02/2024 19:22

I don't really notice . I notice more when someone wears lots of make up but not in a bad way I just think "ah they are wearing loads of make up" but not necessarily bad I just take note 😂 it doesn't matter! Some days I wear it and some days I don't, now I'm 36 and I definitely look better with a bit on now. 🙈

Ottersmith · 16/02/2024 19:24

ZebraPensAreLife · 16/02/2024 11:44

It annoys me a bit that this is even a question tbh. No one would ask what you think of men who don’t wear make-up!

Yes I was thinking this.

Animatic · 16/02/2024 19:25

flutterby1 · 16/02/2024 11:34

Just wondering what your true JUDGY thoughts are? I don't wear makeup often I'm in mid forties. How am I perceived? Lazy? Frumpy? Not caring? Boring? Can't be bothered to make an effort for others ? Or confident ? Perceived as being ' pretty enough' ?

39 , and the only make-up I rarely wear is a BB Cream. Just don't like myself with make-up on.
Why would anyone judge?

OOBetty · 16/02/2024 19:28

Unusualactualname · 16/02/2024 11:36

Ohhh interested in the comments, as a non-makeup wearing person. Although other people can think what they like...

I’m the same, never do makeup.
I wore some lipstick for my wedding though😀

Myonlysunshine123 · 16/02/2024 19:28

I don't wear makeup but if my eyebrows are plucked and tidy I feel amazing!
If someone has bad skin or spots and feel they need to wear makeup though thats fine, I just remember being young and full of spots and wanting to cover up. Even though now I realise it probably made them worse

rooftopbird · 16/02/2024 19:33

This interests me actually as I have a condition which causes what looks like angry thread-veins on my cheeks (lupus) so I always wear a little cc cream to cover the redness, plus a little eye liner or mascara and as I've gotten older, eyeshadow. I find lipstick as well too much now.

I always look at women with none on and think how lucky they are. I genuinely think no makeup on well looked after skin is the most beautiful way.

Jetstream · 16/02/2024 19:34

I rarely wear makeup as it irritates my skin. I admire women who can and do wear makeup regularly.
It’s the same with high heels. I need classes to learn this stuff.
One of my nieces is a pro at leaving the house looking like a model.

tachetastic · 16/02/2024 19:35

Back in the mid-90s when I was 22 I was a trainee at a large City firm. One of the other trainees was a slightly older lady - probably mid-30s - had frizzy greying hair which she never coloured and wore in German-style plaits coiled on the side of her head (more fraulein than Princess Leia), never wore makeup and dressed if I am honest quite frumpily - high necked frilly blouses with bows at the neckline, ankle length flowery skirts and white ankle socks - if she did wear tights they would be knitted. She definitely stood out from the crowd, but was always neat and tidy. Personally I always respected her as she knew she looked different to everyone else

One day one of the partners told her that she had been discussed in a senior management meeting, and she had to start wearing makeup and dressing a bit more modern. While most of us understood where he was coming from we were all genuinely horrified that anybody would actually say it. Good for her she stuck to her guns and told him that if that meant wearing lipstick and showing more flesh then absolutely not.

Do you think senior management would find it reasonable to ask that of a woman today? In fact, do they still do that?

ChampagneLassie · 16/02/2024 19:36

Pre-children I always wore makeup…even if I was just at home, it was just part of my routine getting ready in morning…how things have changed! I really couldn’t care what others think and I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone. Amoungst mums of young DC (mine is under 2) it seems unusual to see them wearing makeup TBH. There is one mum I know who is always beautifully made up and has lovely styled hair and nice clothes. I’m envious. I assume she must have more help and time that me! I do put it in for work and anyone who sees me in work mode is always shocked at how different and glam I look

soupfiend · 16/02/2024 19:38

I dont think I would notice if someones wearing make up or not, unless its heavy make up.

How would I know?

I dont wear make up, wear it maybe a couple of evenings a month, perhaps not even that, dont get out enough to wear it!

Never have. Didnt know people 'felt' things about me for it!

How bizarre!!

WearyAuldWumman · 16/02/2024 19:38

I'm coming up for 64 and can't be arsed wearing make-up. If other folk don't like the look of my face, that's their problem.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 16/02/2024 19:41

I genuinely don't notice or care if people are wearing it or not. I was quite startled recently when I mentioned to a friend that I had an exciting event coming up. She instantly offered to do my make up. I had no idea that anyone cared or noticed that I don't wear it.

As long as I'm relatively neat and tidy and my hair isn't sticking out sideways I have no interest in what I'm wearing. It has always been that way and I accept that others may feel differently about themselves.

susansaucepan · 16/02/2024 19:42

Is this a thing that women wear make up all day, every day ?

I will certainly wear it if I am going to an event , such as a wedding or a party .

Occasionally will wear a bit of foundation and a muted lipstick for work as a big part of my job involves virtual meetings and it makes me feel a bit more camera friendly .

But I don't ever look at someone's face and think it's missing make up . If anything, heavy make up can occasionally look out of place ( gym , school run , at the park with the kids , super markets etc)

NonPlayerCharacter · 16/02/2024 19:45

tachetastic · 16/02/2024 19:35

Back in the mid-90s when I was 22 I was a trainee at a large City firm. One of the other trainees was a slightly older lady - probably mid-30s - had frizzy greying hair which she never coloured and wore in German-style plaits coiled on the side of her head (more fraulein than Princess Leia), never wore makeup and dressed if I am honest quite frumpily - high necked frilly blouses with bows at the neckline, ankle length flowery skirts and white ankle socks - if she did wear tights they would be knitted. She definitely stood out from the crowd, but was always neat and tidy. Personally I always respected her as she knew she looked different to everyone else

One day one of the partners told her that she had been discussed in a senior management meeting, and she had to start wearing makeup and dressing a bit more modern. While most of us understood where he was coming from we were all genuinely horrified that anybody would actually say it. Good for her she stuck to her guns and told him that if that meant wearing lipstick and showing more flesh then absolutely not.

Do you think senior management would find it reasonable to ask that of a woman today? In fact, do they still do that?

Maybe in some customer/public facing roles depending on the image of the place, and I suppose in strip clubs! But generally no, it wouldn't be acceptable to tell a woman she had to wear makeup and more attractive clothing.

listsandbudgets · 16/02/2024 19:47

Late 40s here - never worn it since a few experiements in my mid teens. I do have a good skincare regime but make up just simply does not appeal to me.

I tend not to notice whether people wear it or not unless it's very heavily applied.

Octomingo · 16/02/2024 19:47

Surnami · 16/02/2024 18:58

I don't wear it but not because I can't be bothered - I just never seemed to be able to figure out how.

I tried watching tutorials etc but it just never looked the same as theirs did. And because I am a person who doesn't wear make up, the times I do, people notice and comment and it makes me feel really embarrassed as I assume I've done it badly.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or I'm not used to seeing myself with it.

But also, and I'm not being purposefully dim here but I don't really "get" make up.

I can kind of understand things like foundation and concealer if it's hiding eg acne. But on the whole it feels odd to put a paint or powder on my face that slightly alters the colour.

I know that people try to match their skin colour but if the majority of people did this to perfection then presumably you'd have no clue if they were wearing make up or just naturally had clearer skin. Judging from the comments here, most people (if they actively paid attention) would be able to tell that someone is wearing make up or not.

I don't know. When I think about it it just feels so bizarre that it's socially expected for one sex to paint their faces.

Then there's the other stuff. I've never understood blusher. I'm not sure why having red or pink cheeks looks better than not.

The contouring stuff is impressive in the sense people can make their face look a different (not necessarily better) shape and I'm impressed by their skills but that's about it.

Mascara - is having longer eyelashes better than not? Again not being obtuse but generally I think a "normal" length eyelash looks better personally - when I see people with noticeable mascara or fake lashes I notice it looks different but not better.

Eyeliner is the same. I feel like it looks odd on me. Then I become really caught up in how odd it is to add colour around my eyes. Nobody naturally has black/brown etc circles around their eyes so why is adding it a good thing?

And lipstick. Why is the colour I change my lips to nicer than the colour my lips already are? Surely it's just that it's different? If I had different colour lips, would I be wearing lipstick to change them to the colour of my current ones?

To be clear I am not insulting people who like the way make up look and I'm not saying they look bad. I'm saying that to me they simply look different to people who don't. Different - not worse and not better.

When someone's wears make up I feel the same way as I do about people having tattoos or piercings. They're choosing something they like for their appearance and that's fine. I assume they get it to express themselves and their identity. They're not getting tattoos to look more attractive right? I feel it would make more sense if it's the same for make up.

But what confuses me is the narrative that wearing make up makes you inherently look better / less tired / washed out and it's brave not to.

Does that mean that all men look tired and washed out? If so is it that "tired" is actually a normal human face? And we have become so accustomed to seeing women with make up that it's seen as normal?

I think make up makes you look like you have product on your face. Product you've chosen to present and express yourself in the same way you choose your clothes or jewellery or tattoos or whatever. Which can be cool.

I just don't agree that it's a given that wearing make-up is more attractive than not.

And I'm not just speaking about people like me who are bad at it. I'm also talking about people who are good at it. Their skills are impressive but I feel the same way as I do about someone who can do any other skill well. Is it a universal truth that make up improves their appearance rather than just changes it?

When I was younger, I didn't look that different when I had make up on.
But now I'm in my 40s, you can definitely see the difference. I can look rough as fuck without make up. Doesn't stop me going out without it, but I look better on makeup days. And by better, I mean less washed out and exhausted.

RM2013 · 16/02/2024 19:49

I generally don’t notice on others. I prefer to wear some makeup every day as im late 40’s and it makes me feel better

BobbyBiscuits · 16/02/2024 19:49

I would not even know where to start with makeup. I haven't worn it since I was about 23. Now it feels like you have to use about 35 different bloody products! It feels like my skin is dirty when I wear a lot of makeup. I even used to be a bloody makeup artist ( very briefly) but it's changed so much I'd be intimidated to have to even do that every morning and then remove it all at night. I also do not have a very steady hand at this point in my life!
So yeah, I know I would look better if I wore it, but at least people know what I look like and won't be shocked when I go out bare faced. Some people who wear a lot look really strange without!
Each to their own though. I guess it's not high on my personal priority list.

Hayliebells · 16/02/2024 19:51

As a fellow non-makeup wearing women I would think nothing at all. I'd most likely think you're a confident women, comfortable in her own, unmade up skin. Men don't get judged for not wearing makeup, so why should women?

Stormbornform · 16/02/2024 19:52

I don't tend to think anything if it. It's a choice like anything else. Just part of their style and personality. Like having painted nails and a lightly made up face is part of mine. I wouldn't expect to be judges for that either. My body my choice.

Mixmup · 16/02/2024 19:53

BreatheAndFocus · 16/02/2024 18:44

I don’t judge them at all, whatever their age. I do notice though.

I wear make up every day because I enjoy the ritual of putting it on. I find it relaxing and it gives me a chance to prepare for the day mentally. I wear makeup for me. I also think that it’s helped protect my skin over the years. I look younger than I am (with and without make up) and I put part of that down to my routines of skincare and cosmetics.

People don’t wear flesh-coloured clothes every day (they’re just for covering your modesty and keeping you warm, right?) They choose colours. Maybe bright, maybe subtle. It’s similar with make-up IMO.

As I’ve got older, I’ve found most of my female friends who don’t wear make-up either feel you have to be confident to wear it or they’d like to wear it but don’t know where to start. I only know one friend who actively chooses not to wear it on principle.

I disagree with your last paragraph - I don’t wear it often because I haven’t got the time or energy with small DC. I know how to wear it and I’m happier with it on, well more confident anyway, but it’s dropped to the bottom of the list of things to sort before we’re able to leave the house to be honest. It’s a similar situation with lots of my friends with small kids - it’s just not a current priority, not due to lack of knowledge or interest.

RafaFan · 16/02/2024 19:54

I don't "feel" anything. Why would somebody else's decision to wear or not wear makeup have an impact on me? I don't think I'd actually be aware that they weren't wearing it. I'd be more likely to notice if somebody was wearing really thick, badly blended foundation than no makeup.

ItIsLobstersAllTheWayDown · 16/02/2024 19:57

I don't have any judgy thoughts about whether women are wearing makeup or not. Including about myself.

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