Would you date again if you were suddenly single?

[PoliteTurtle]

Sorry, I realise this could be abit of an insensitive question so I’ve tried to phrase it correctly…
Say for example you just found yourself as you are now but single - would you be able to move on from your partner?
I’m genuinely curious because I’d ever date again!

YABU ; I would move on

YANBU ; I would stay single

no at my age the men would be in their 60s early 70s no thanks hoping my OH will be around for a few years yet (im 67 hes 68)

No, would have zero interest.

Christ no.

Well I'm in this exact situation after suddenly losing my husband last year. I can honestly say he was as perfect as they come.

But I'm also in my early 40s and don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Though not planning to actively go looking either. It is daunting for all the reasons already mentioned but am open to it.

Am sure there are nice guys still out there and who knows what life has in store. My priority will always be my DCs.

I was married for 24 years. My husband took unwell at 12 years into our marriage...brain tumour.... horrendous time. He died after 12 years. After 6 years single I really missed the love and touch of another human being. My first marriage was great. No issues at all but I have subsequently met and married another man and he is amazing and we wouldn't be without him.

Absolutely not.
I’ve been married for more than 45 years, there’s simply no way I would ever want to live with a man again if DH died.
My experience of men is limited, pretty jaded and quite frankly I would never trust any man enough to want a relationship with one 🤷🏼‍♀️
I have a dog and that’s all the company I need.

I'm early 50s. If things ended with my current partner for whatever reason, I wouldn't go looking. I've had long periods of being single and it's fine. It's the dating and looking that's soul destroying. I just don't think I'd find anyone who matches me as well as DP does and I really don't want to put up with the ageism and misogyny I'd encounter if I tried the dating scene again at this point in my life.

I wouldn't date again, not because I wouldn't be able to get over my partner but because I think I function better without a partner. I love my own company and don't really get lonely so I really don't think that I'd care enough to bother dating

Yep, @Lemonyyy , a FWB would be perfect. 😉

Life stage is definitely a factor as I’m nearly 50 with teenagers so I have no desire to build a new life with someone, I’m happy with my family situation. A good mate whom I fancy would be ideal!

DH and I joke that it’s the nunnery for me and the monk hood for him if we found ourselves not together anymore. We’ve agreed that OLD is not something either of us could do (we met at the time when people were embarrassed to tell people they met their SO online).

But seriously, I’ve told him that if something ever happened to me * that he needs to get his head out of his ass and find a new love. I’ve gone so far as tell our friends that I expect them to give him a kick in the butt to do so (but not to set him up, because neither of us trust their judgment 🤣).

For myself, I guess I would eventually meet someone new, but it would have to happen organically. I was serious that I don’t think I’m cut out for OLD. I think I’d be more focused on re-establishing my life as a single person than finding a new SO.

• I have no plans of dying anytime soon and these have been random conversations over the years

Yanbu 5 years I am separated still single did not look fir someone else and won't go on old.

I’m glad there are so many people on here with the same stance as me!
On a separate thread that inspired me to create this one, I had (stupidly) admitted I was quite young despite being married with two young children… and a lot of (probably wiiiiiisesarcasm) people said that I don’t know what I’m talking about and that I’m immature 🤭😂
If me being close minded means I have to avoid the excruciating tribulations of dating, and all that goes along with that, then so be it, I’m immature!!!!
Not that I have to explain myself to strangers, but I do find it frustrating!

I don’t think I’d marry again and I’d be very careful to make sure that our marital assets go to our children.

My partner of 20 years told me just before christmas that he is leaving. I will never ever date again. Ever.

Yes but only for companionship and sex. I would never want to live with another man again or even have a proper relationship. I'm not even 40 and I've had enough of the lot of them 😅
I know it's easy to say from my current situation of being coupled up in a mediocre (sometimes rubbish) relationship. But I've always enjoyed my own company enough to live alone and be single.

This is me exactly right now. I don't want to be on my own but the thought of finding someone new is scary

I've enjoyed reading this thread and seeing how many people seem so genuinely happy with their current DPs that they couldn't imagine ever being with someone else. So often on mumsnet we only hear about the unhappy stories and hear from people who have been treated dreadfully by partners. It's really heartwarming (even as a contentedly single person) to witness how many happy relationships people do actually have.

No way especially after hearing some of our younger colleagues disastrous dating stories.

I love DH but wouldn’t do it again.

I don't think so. I definitely wouldn't introduce a man into my children's lives.
I'm not very interested in sex these days. I have no appetite to actively look for someone to date. Maybe if the perfect man fell into my lap and he was happy to conduct our relationship entirely around my children without meeting them.

I know it's easy to say from my current situation of being coupled up in a mediocre (sometimes rubbish) relationship. But I've always enjoyed my own company enough to live alone and be single.

Yes. I've been in mediocre relationships, rubbish relationships, and long term single. I'm lucky that I'm currently in a great relationship but for me, that's a rarity. So if the great relationship were to end, I'd go back to being single. For me, it was always much better than mediocre/ crap relationships, and those seem to be more likely than great relationships.

If someone else amazing came along, then great. But I consider that to be vanishing unlikely and I cba to go looking.

Yeah it's the online part of it that makes me shudder. I mentioned earlier in the thread that I met my current DP very soon after exH and I split - well, actually I met him before we split up and liked him, and just at the time when I was starting to think maybe I was in the mood for some company, there he was in the same situation. We knew each other from a sports club we're both in, and it happened organically like you described. We're still together four years later, but don't live together. It's nice, though lockdown was terrible. Someone else mentioned the physical contact thing - that's really important to me and without any kind of touch it makes me feel very lonely. I don't have children so there are no hugs other than when I see him. I wonder if everyone who's saying they wouldn't bother again know what it's actually like to go without physical touch indefinitely?

I wonder if everyone who's saying they wouldn't bother again know what it's actually like to go without physical touch indefinitely?

I do, yes. Before I met my current partner I'd been single for many years and assumed I'd always be single. I went many years without being hugged. But the thing is, I don't like physical contact with most people, only really with my DP. So I can go prolonged periods without. One of the things I liked about lockdown and covid was not having to have physical contact with people who seemed to think that hugs and handshakes and whatever were fine for everyone. They're not. I'm quite particular about who they're from.

I admit I'm probably an outlier with this. Most people prefer contact. And also, I know what bad relationships are like and I'm not going to get into one just to have a hug. Plus I'm older. I do think it's different facing this in your 50s than it is dealing with it when you're in your 30s.

If you don't actually like it that's a completely different thing of course! And I know there are lots of women with young families who yearn for periods when they don't have someone in their physical space all the time.

It's just bloody hard sometimes if someone is a tactile person, but they live alone and have no prospect of any kind of touch.

I imagine most don’t, yes the odd few will but most won’t which is why it’s so easy to say when your not in the situation so this thread isn’t going to give an accurate answer. I haven’t even anything in almost 8 years and it certainly isn’t through choice.

Could I move on? Yes.
Would I stay single by choice? Yes.

Tbf I'm only in a relationship because I love him and hes good to me so I choose to be with him. I wouldnt be pursuing a boyfriend in general, I'd rather be single.