Page 5 | Would you date again if you were suddenly single?

PoliteTurtle · 2024-02-16T00:51:29+00:00

Sorry, I realise this could be abit of an insensitive question so I’ve tried to phrase it correctly… Say for example you just found yourself as you are now but single - would you be able to move on from your partner? I’m genuinely curious because I’d ever date again! YABU ; I would move on YANBU ; I would stay single

Alconleigh · 16/02/2024 13:06

Nah. Peri has largely killed my sex drive, and I'm a high earner with good friends who is happy in her own company. Wouldn't look for a new man. No point.

GymBergerac · 16/02/2024 13:26

Good God no. It took me years to find DH - he's the only person I've ever been comfortable living with, and I suspect the only person who could live with me. I'd sooner be on my own with some cats than have to go through all that again.... 😂

BruFord · 16/02/2024 14:01

I enjoy going out with someone doing fun things, it’s the day-to-day living together that I find tedious. DH asking me whether I’ve put the bins out, talking about money, etc. it’s so boring! He’s great company when out though so if I’m single again, I’d just like a companion to go out with. 😂

Changingplace · 16/02/2024 14:08

BruFord · 16/02/2024 14:01

I enjoy going out with someone doing fun things, it’s the day-to-day living together that I find tedious. DH asking me whether I’ve put the bins out, talking about money, etc. it’s so boring! He’s great company when out though so if I’m single again, I’d just like a companion to go out with. 😂

Completely agree. I wouldn’t live with anyone again ever.

CardinalCat · 16/02/2024 14:13

I was trapped in an unsatisfactory (mildly coercive partner who had a drinking problem) relationship and I used to fantasise about what I'd do when I actually managed to disentangle myself from it. Which I did about a year ago, finally. In reality what I am enjoying most is my freedom and independence, and rediscovering myself, and parenting the dc without the worry of being under the same roof as my ex (a fundamentally decent man but very difficult to live with.) I really thought I'd be all over the dating scene but the thought of it gives me the ick. I'd never say never but I find I'm in absolutely no rush to find someone else and that has taken me by surprise.

CardinalCat · 16/02/2024 14:16

Mummadeze · 16/02/2024 06:23

if I can ever get out of my current relationship I think I would be too mentally scarred to trust a man again. Maybe after a lot of counselling, but I have been very put off.

I just wanted to say don't give up. I had some therapy (while still in the relationship) to help me get my head around what to do and how to do it (I appreciate my privilege in being able to afford this.) If you are being coerced please do speak to women's aid as they and other agencies can provide advice, support and counselling too. You've got this

goingrouge · 16/02/2024 14:29

I'm terrible at being single so would definitely date again.
I might not live with someone and almost definitely wouldn't get married but I need a man in my life in some way.

I'm fairly risk averse and picky so it might be a challenge.

No kids or adult kids who aren't a PITA.
I rule out certain jobs straightaway.
I can't stand golf or cycling bores.

There's loads of other criteria too but I don't have time. 😄

Mummadeze · 16/02/2024 14:33

@CardinalCat thank you. It is hard to explain but I just can’t see a way out. Appreciate you sending me that message though. I have had counselling for another issue recently but didn’t even venture there re my relationship. I probably should have done. Thanks again.

kcchiefette · 16/02/2024 14:39

If I was single again, no I wouldnt go back on the dating scene.

Its all mostly online now and it does a real number on your mental health!

The starting from scratch, meeting strangers, going on dates and wasting the very little time I have free on strangers is not that appealing to me any longer.

If my relationship doesn't work out, I would stay single. I would use my spare time to go to the gym, go hiking, walk the dog, do lots of lovely things with my child and book more holidays for me and my child with money saved. I'd satisfy myself more efficiently with my toys (lets face it!)

In my 20s, any time a relationship ended I was right back on the horse. However, in my 30s I can now say I have the confidence to stand on my own.

Snowpaw · 16/02/2024 14:42

I wouldn't live with anyone again until daughter had moved out (she's only 5!)

Wouldn't mind having someone to go out with on a weekend evening, or for days out if I got a babysitter, but I wouldn't want to merge lives with someone. Daughter is priority and I would be in no rush to date.

cerisepanther73 · 16/02/2024 14:47

@PoliteTurtle

No

If 🤔 i was ?

I think i would be more into the idea of exploring lesbienism,😂

Finding a good enough man is like coming across a rare endangered species of wildlife...

MissingOutOnLife · 16/02/2024 15:03

I'm not sure there are any decent people out there left to date...Men only seem to want sex/nudes/to keep you as an option.

Social medial and apps like Snapchat etc have made it even easier for those inclined to cheat to do so, and those who aren't physically doing anything seem to think it's ok to look at/chat to other women.

I'm staying single!

Pickles2023 · 16/02/2024 15:14

No. I have young kids. I have enough on my plate if we split or anything.

Plus everyone would look like a red flag and not worth the hassle to us. I couldnt cope with a man with drama around an Ex ect, then if he had no baggage and got into his mid life with no solid relationships that would seem odd too. Not to mention the stress of first dates ect. 🙃 i feel too old and haggard. Id have to wait mainy mainy years when my kids are adults and its a different era in my life...but by then being a mad cat lady with no one to awnser to sounds appealing..

I am a happy loner though..very comfortable taking myself out to restaurants, hate sharing a bed as i love spreading out, i like dictating the telly in the evening 🤣🤣 i was single many years before my DH so after i would just revert back

Aplaceinthecold · 16/02/2024 15:25

I've been married for 35 years and am in my late fifties. My husband is my best friend and the only person I truly trust.
If the worst happened I would definitely remain single. I can't imagine ever loving someone in the same way.
I don't hate men, although I have never done OLD.
Reading the stories on here about it, I never will.

Buttheywereonlysatellites51 · 16/02/2024 15:31

No. I'd rather get a dog. Seems less complicated.

inabubble3 · 16/02/2024 15:38

I think I’d like to be single for a little while just for some space. I imagine it would take quite a while to get over a 16 year + relationship… and it would depend how it ended.

But yeah I think if we just split up I’d try to enjoy the free time- and having one less person to consider tbh

nighttimeforgenerals88 · 16/02/2024 15:38

If DH died I would, but would not get into a relationship with someone who has children of their own, nor would I have another child with somebody else. I couldn't put up with the complexity. I prefer a simple life.

MonsteraMama · 16/02/2024 15:42

Nope. I'm a very, very independent person and extremely happy in my own company, so I know I'd be completely fine living alone. I have my daughter, a solid friend group and a huge family, I wouldn't be lonely.

More than that though my husband is just perfect for me. I hear the woes of my single friends about the state of the dating world, I hear complaints about useless boyfriends and husbands from all walks of life... I just don't think I have a chance in hell of finding a man as compatible with me as my husband is, so I wouldn't bother.

caringcarer · 16/02/2024 15:43

No, I wouldn't date again. I'd definitely not marry again. I'd be worried I was only being married for my money. I'd be richer if DH died. I'm old and I've been married almost 20 years. No one could replace my DH so I wouldn't even try.

Lemonyyy · 16/02/2024 15:44

BruFord · 16/02/2024 14:01

I enjoy going out with someone doing fun things, it’s the day-to-day living together that I find tedious. DH asking me whether I’ve put the bins out, talking about money, etc. it’s so boring! He’s great company when out though so if I’m single again, I’d just like a companion to go out with. 😂

This is it. If I lost DH (one way or another) I would be happy to date, as in, have someone to do fun things with, have sex with, but I suspect I'd have no interest in building a new life from scratch with someone, certainly not interested in blending a family (or starting a new one shudder). I think most of that you can get from mates, so maybe a friends with benefits situation would be ideal lol.

Fifthtimelucky · 16/02/2024 15:46

No. But I'm in my 60s and couldn't be bothered.

If I were in my 40s, possibly yes, but I still had young children then so I'd have been very cautious of dating.

Lwrenn · 16/02/2024 15:57

Definitelynotme2022 · 16/02/2024 12:51

I find myself in this situation at the age of 53! Although we're recently "officially" split up, in truth it's been months and months. So I've had time to put all the weird feelings behind me.

Whilst not particularly looking for someone, I am going out for a drink with a lovely man later. But we'll see..... I value my independence.

I'm invested, do we fancy him? 😁

OnlyFannys · 16/02/2024 16:02

I was suddenly single with a newborn, I didn't date for a long time as my focus was dc but after about 5 years I met my current partner (after some bloody terrible dates/short term horror stories). I think it partly depends on how you become single, if my partner died I think it would be very difficult to move on but if we didn't work out I would date again once I was ready. Generally I feel like we only get one shot at life and I want to be as happy as I'm capable to be

AffIt · 16/02/2024 16:07

Absolutely not: if, God forbid, anything happened to my OH, I'd just get more cats.

Mid-40s, unable to tolerate bullshit any more.

TheFormidableMrsC · 16/02/2024 16:10

No. Husband left for OW. It took me so long to recover that I won't go there again. 11th year single.