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Original poster

Would you date again if you were suddenly single?

178 replies

PoliteTurtle · 16/02/2024 00:51

Sorry, I realise this could be abit of an insensitive question so I’ve tried to phrase it correctly…
Say for example you just found yourself as you are now but single - would you be able to move on from your partner?
I’m genuinely curious because I’d ever date again!

YABU ; I would move on

YANBU ; I would stay single

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 16/02/2024 09:26

I'd move on eventually, I'm sure

duvetdayy · 16/02/2024 09:27

I mean, I’m 29 so realistically probably yes, I would date again at some point in the future but I genuinely don’t think there would be much point. I really don’t think I would ever find someone I connect with like I do with my DP. We haven’t been together long but we were very close best friends for two years before we started going out and from the day I met him I’ve experienced something I have never felt before. He is my absolute soulmate. Life is long so I’m sure I would eventually want to date again but literally anyone else would feel like a downgrade.

TheNameIsDickDarlington · 16/02/2024 09:35

If I was single again due to the marriage breaking down I would absolutely date again, but not with a view of it going any further than that. I'd not want to have a serious boyfriend and I certainly wouldn't be introducing to children or moving someone in to our home.

That's because I have children, 2 under 5 and a preteen daughter so I just don't think it would be appropriate and tbh my currant marriage has very much put me off of the idea of living with a partner.

If my husband died it would be a different kettle of fish as who would look after the children when I went on a date? I wouldn't want aware of it at all and obviously the loss of their father would be so awful it wouldn't be fair on anyone. In a divorce they'd still have their dad just not living together and I'm assuming there would be a shared custody arrangement so the dating situation wouldn't impact them at all.

JennyHumphrey · 16/02/2024 09:36

I talk about this with my husband because I'm more than likely going to outlive him. Obviously I don't know shit because he's still alive but I don't think I'd want anything to do with men whilst my kids are still kids.

Once they've flown the nest though I would have gentlemen friends as my great aunt called them. I tolerate living with my husband and I love the bones of him. Once he's gone though I never want to live with another person again.

Ilovegoldies · 16/02/2024 09:37

I wouldn't unless it happened organically. My husband is perfect (for me) and after so many shitty relationships I genuinely don't think there are many men like him around.
Also now I'm in my 50s much as I enjoy sex with my husband I don't think I'd miss it if he and I were no more.

WestwardHo1 · 16/02/2024 09:40

I really think I couldn't be bothered either. I'm divorced and very quickly (too quickly) found a man I really liked who was in the same position. However it has been rocky at times. I don't think I could be arsed again, which is a shame as I love the time we spend together.

KimberleyClark · 16/02/2024 09:41

I’m 62. If, god forbid I suddenly became single due to being widowed, which is the only way it would happen, no I probably wouldn’t date again. Certainly not OLD. I know that I am capable of being alone.

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 16/02/2024 09:48

It's easy for those who are in relationships to say they'd never date again. They don't know what they will actually do if they were suddenly single.

I was 40 when my marriage ended, I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I'm happy single but I'd probably be happier with someone who could take some of life's burdens on with me.

Caroparo52 · 16/02/2024 09:58

VivienneDelacroix · 16/02/2024 01:08

No, I don't think I could be bothered.

This

BigBarm · 16/02/2024 10:01

TheFireflies · 16/02/2024 01:10

No, not a chance.
My husband is one of the very few people that I can tolerate in my space, and he equally tolerates me.
that doesn’t sound romantic, but for us it’s love.
I cannot imagine ever finding someone else who’s that perfect for me. And if I’m being honest, I don’t need to. I like my own company.
So while I prefer living with him to living alone, I don’t think I could say that for most people. If he wasn’t around, I’d happily be on my own.

You are my twin- this is exactly how I feel!

cadburyegg · 16/02/2024 10:55

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 16/02/2024 09:48

It's easy for those who are in relationships to say they'd never date again. They don't know what they will actually do if they were suddenly single.

I was 40 when my marriage ended, I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I'm happy single but I'd probably be happier with someone who could take some of life's burdens on with me.

This 100%

Lancia72 · 16/02/2024 11:15

Relationships are like Celebrity Big Brother - nobody can keep up forever the charm that got them in there.

I've found that after about three months, the guard comes down a bit, you start seeing the real personality, and start getting subjected to behaviour that's the result of their baggage/insecurities/whatever.

When I look back on some of the behaviour I've let slide for months or years before getting the hell out, I literally can't believe it.

The epiphany for me was driving along in my battered Fiat Brava one day and realising how much I preferred the feeling of being well and truly over somebody to the feeling of falling for somebody. There's so much that's involuntary about being 'in love' - hence the tendency to put up with crap you wouldn't dream of tolerating normally.

GreyCarpet · 16/02/2024 11:47

I'd move on but I don't consider that to mean I'd have another relationship.

I know I'd stay single because that was pretty much the decision I'd made for the 10 years prior to meeting my partner. Dated a bit for company and sex but had no intention of having a relationship.

I'd known my partner for about 5 years before we got together and it seemed worth a punt. We've been together for nearly 2 and a half years but, if I found myself single now, I wouldn't bother again.

HiItsMeImTheProblemItsMe · 16/02/2024 12:09

I couldn't be arsed with another man tbh! I have a litte one who's nearly 2. I'm busy working and building a life for us. Meanwhile, my ex (our child's father) has already shacked up with and just had a baby with another woman!

WmFnKdSg1234 · 16/02/2024 12:13

I like being around others. I haven't lived alone for more than 3 months - that was during lockdown. Even then I started to get depressed, but maybe that was due to the extraordinary circumstances at the time.

If I ever found myself single. I wouldn't OLD - it was excruciating when I did it many years ago. I will not put myself in that position ever again.

I feel extremely lucky to have found my DP. I don't think that I will be that lucky again.

So unless I met someone through normal life, I guess I would have to get used to being alone.

I would get a cat or two - my DP is allergic - so the cats would be cocompany.

ManchesterLu · 16/02/2024 12:23

I would, but not straight away. I like having someone to share my life with and to live with - though I'd be just as happy having one of my girl-friends move in with me. I like the chilled, cohabitation lifestyle, and having someone to eat with, and someone to share thoughts with.

I love DP to bits, but if he weren't here, I wouldn't want to be on my own forever.

Slanketblanket · 16/02/2024 12:25

No, too much hassle and I'd like to not have to compromise what I want to do. I would put all the money that a partner would cost me in savings so I could pay for my care in older age though.

2024please · 16/02/2024 12:47

God, No!!

Definitelynotme2022 · 16/02/2024 12:51

I find myself in this situation at the age of 53! Although we're recently "officially" split up, in truth it's been months and months. So I've had time to put all the weird feelings behind me.

Whilst not particularly looking for someone, I am going out for a drink with a lovely man later. But we'll see..... I value my independence.

AceofPentacles · 16/02/2024 12:55

No. I'd get a dog.

SoRainbowRhythms · 16/02/2024 12:58

I've found myself suddenly single this year. Peeped on FB dating just to see what's out there. Fair to say I shall be settling firmly into my Miss Havisham era.

ThePenguinIsDrunk · 16/02/2024 13:01

I would never say never (and as with a PP if Rufus Sewell turned up on my doorstep might speedily change my mind) but generally just don't think I could be bothered with dating etc if something happened.
FWIW I'm in a perfectly good and contented relationship but also loved being single prior to that and love my own company. What could a man do for me that I can't myself?

FrenchandSaunders · 16/02/2024 13:02

Nope. The last time I got my kit off for someone new I was 18 and gorgeous .... I've been with DH for 37 years and we've had a great marriage, few ups and downs like everyone else, but we generally rub along really well. I just can't imagine being bothered with it all if something happened to us. Let alone getting my kit off 😂

WibblyWobblyWeeble · 16/02/2024 13:04

I'm in my mid 40's and have absolutely no interest in dating.
I might change my mind if Harry Styles asked me out, but only if he asked very nicely.

GlennCloseButNoCigar · 16/02/2024 13:04

VivienneDelacroix · 16/02/2024 01:08

No, I don't think I could be bothered.

I’ve found I feel like this.

It’s been three years this March that I’d finally left my abusive ex. I did two years of healing in therapy and really enjoyed this last year of prioritising my hobbies and social life.

I’ve dabbled a little in dating these last few months and it’s just awful. Mostly I find it’s such a faff and a huge effort that requires a lot of my head space and money. And I just can’t be bothered.

Maybe I’ll change my mind in the future, who knows. But for now I feel really content and happy to be on my own.