Recently widowed dad selling family home

[cambridgecoral]

My mum died in February last year. After starting dating before her funeral had even taken place, my dad almost immediately got himself a replacement servant from the OurTime dating website.

He is selling our family home, she is selling her little house, and they're going to buy a million pound house together.

He says he will put in his will that me and my brother are entitled to a quarter of the house upon the second death - the other two quarters being owned by her two grown up children.

He says he's 'protecting our inheritance' by putting it into property.
Is this true?
As far as I see it, my brother and I have gone from half each in the family home, to potentially a quarter in a house that half belongs his new girlfriend, who'll probably sell it to pay for her care costs in the end if dad dies before her.

How is this protecting our inheritance?
Does anyone know anything about the law on this?
I feel totally betrayed. I have a young son who now has no grandma, and she'd be devastated to know that everything she worked for was essentially being given to a family of near-strangers and not protected for her children and grandchild.

Feeling hopeless and hurt.

@SisterMichaelsHabit As for the posters saying the money her DF has worked for (that he actually just inherited 50% of from his DW) is his to do what he wants with, your misogyny is showing. Her DM presumably earned half the value of the house and therefore what SHE worked for and wanted should also be considered if we're talking fairness rather than letter of the law.

Sorry OP, your DM was far too trusting and you'll get a load of shit on this thread from people who are scared of anyone rumbling their attempts to grab their family's money out from under other people.

I agree with this. I think this is a horrible situation and @cambridgecoralI am sure you are right that this would have been so upsetting for your poor mother. Dating before the funeral? Sick, sad, nasty man!

I would be devastated by this too, and most of the posters criticising you would too, if they were honest! Didn't your mother have a will? I've seen this happen to a friend, and it's heartbreaking. Everything your poor mother worked for, and hoped would benefit you in the longer term.

Sadly there isn't anything you can do - it's his. You can't trust him either. His new floozy (and yes, she's a floozy, who would get with a man whose wife is barely cold?!) will probably sweettalk him into leaving it all to her, I'm afraid.

I'm so sorry.

@BIWI it wasn’t really. It was evident from the initial post that the relationship isn’t great.

You say he’s an abuser and a narcissist. Given this there is no guarantee , indeed it’s very unlikely that he would do anything you or your DB suggested. Or that he wouldn’t hold it over you/change at some future point.

He doesn’t deserve the headspace you are giving him. It’s not easy, but write the money off, write him off too and start to enjoy the rest of your life without your anger and frustration at him ruining it. It’s not fair, but sadly life isn’t always fair as you know. He made your mother’s life a misery, the best tribute you could give her is not allowing him to do the same to you or your DC.

Go low or non contact and look to the future, get counselling if you think it would help. Good luck.

@cambridgecoral

So you hate your father, but you still want his money/an inheritance?

If I loathed and despised my father - I would not want a penny piece from him in inheritance money.

Sad news about your mum. but as a pp said, if you hate your father so much and he was abusive and narcissistic, then why do want anything from him?

As others have said, an inheritance is not a right, it's a privilege ... If he remarries, his wife will be automatically entitled to half of everything of his. AND you would be cut you out of ANY inheritance.

Tread carefully, he may well cut you out anyway yet!

God I hate it when people think they are due an inheritance.

It's tough, and must be particularly hurtful knowing your mother wouldn't have wanted that.

When my late DH and I got married, he moved into the house I had managed to buy and do up (it was a real fixer-upper), and let his ex keep their family home. She agreed to leave the house equally to their two girls, which she did.

The agreement was that the house we lived in, as it had been mine, would go to my DC. To protect it, we became tenants in common, and we each left our half of the house to my DC, which protected some of their interests.

It wasn't that we didn't trust each other, it was that you can't have any idea of what may happen after a death. I now live in a house that my DH left half of to my DC, with the stipulation that I have a life long interest in it. I have left my half of the house to my DC, as we agreed.

I think it's really important to have these things as tied up legally as you possibly can; but as your father was abusive towards your late mother, he probably wouldn't have agreed to this.

Of course, I could still sell the house, give their share to my DC and blue the rest on riotous living.

Erm it’s half her mother’s money, that’s the point.

It's her father's now.

Erm it’s half her mother’s money, that’s the point.

Her mother left it to her father. It's his money now. Not nice, but that's how it stands.

Me too.

It’s still her mother’s money that he’s inherited. Hence OP’s distresss.

OP, you have no inheritance until and unless a person dies and leaves something to you in their will. You have to stop thinking you have a right to something - you don't.

With respect OP, and as gently as possible. Your dad can spend the money he has now, whether tied up in his property or liquid, on whatever he wants to and you don't have any say whatsoever.
You have no claim on his property or his money, or any right to an inheritance.
Please don't say anything to him. Don't be that person.

Had her mother wanted the OP to get a share of this, she could have left it directly to her in her will. She didn't - everything went to her husband.

It's all his money now.

What's "that person"?

If I loathed and despised my father - I would not want a penny piece from him in inheritance money.

My father's inheritance money is the only good thing he left me with. Security for my family and for my children. Very pleased with it, consider it compensation. He was an arsehole but he earned his money honestly.

The person who thinks they are entitled to an inheritance. No one is.

An inheritance isn't a right, your dad could leave everything to his new wife and cut you out completely if he wanted to.

This

Don’t know whether this is naive or disingenuous. DM trusted an abusive man in death as she did in life which was a big mistake

OP clearly states her mother would be devastated to know that the money that she worked hard for would go to a family she doesn’t know rather than her kids and grandkids.

That person is one who doesn’t stand up for their mother and her wishes as well as themselves, apparently.

it's a lost cause. They are barely married and he has decided to grant her and her own the majority of the money ( one wonders why parents always do this shit to their own blood ) but ....you have all my compassion

Why haven't you gone NC then if he's that bad?

It doesn’t matter if there is a will leaving half the property to you when he eventually dies. If the property is owned as joint tenants 100% will be owner by the partner if he dies, regardless of the will.

it needs to be set up as tenants in common for your Dad to own his half and pass on to you.

Why because she resents her dad being happy? The mother left it to dad if she had any share to leave above the normal value automatically transferring to a spouse....I'm hoping the dogs home is getting a share.

It’s his house. He can do as he likes with it.