Or is it really rude to make your food preferences known if you aren't the host?

[UnlikelySuperstar]

Allergies, religion and genuine diet requirements such as veganism aside aibu or is it really, really rude to say you don't like or don't eat something if you aren't the host?

We are hosting friends and I have been given a list of things they don't like. I've never done this, there's things I hate bit would eat if it was being served to me and especially if I wasn't paying or contributing. Only one couple has done it but its really annoyed me as we have already got the food in and now I feel like telling them to make sure they have tea before they come ( although I won't do that ), I'd put loads of effort in and a lot of expense and I can't see why grown adults can't keep their preferences to themselves.

Yabu - it's fine to let someone else put loads of effort into hosting and time and money only to then say 'don't like that/won't eat that' like a rude teenager
Yanbu - it's rude

Sorry, I think YABU. As the host, I would say it is your responsibility to check for any food preferences before you buy the food. It isn't ungrateful of your guests to state their preferences. You don't have to be grateful for something that you don't want!

It's interesting how many people say that they would routinely ask if there is anything that people don't eat. This wouldn't usually occur to me.

If I have people over for a meal, they're typically my friends so I already know if they're veggie/gluten free/halal etc. If I was hosting a stranger for some reason, I would probably ask. Though,
as a vegetarian, I have always felt that the onus is on me as the guest to flag up that I have a specific dietary requirement that might be considered to be outside "the norm".

It would never occur to me that adults would have such strong likes and dislikes that they really couldn't eat a particular meal. I would always check preferences for visiting children as so many kids are faddy eaters, but I think the vast majority of people grow out of this phase?

I think your guests were rude, OP. If they are really fussy eaters, they should have told you about this problem when they accepted the invite.

Gosh I wish I were this ballsy 😝

Seafood Isn’t even an out there thing not to eat?

i think you missed the boat here, you should have “been arsed” to actually cater to your guests.

Maybe because I’m fussy, but I always ask in advance for likes / dislikes etc. There are things I just cannot eat, not due to allergies, but just can’t due to taste and / or texture. (I’m one of those people who will throw up if they try to eat something they loathe). If the host hasn’t said anything though, and something I can’t eat or just really dislike is served as part of a dish, I wouldn’t say anything, just quietly eat around it if I can. Sometimes I’ve “been so full” that I couldn’t finish the food, then left early to go to eat at home, but that’s unusual! Luckily if the company is good I usually forget I’m hungry, so it’s just not an issue, and I eat when I get back home.

Having said that, having been a strict vegetarian most of my life, meat or seafood would be a clear no-no for me, under all circumstances. I’d kind of expect any one who knows me well enough to invite me for food to know that though!

I don't think it's rude if you let the host know well in advance; and in a spirit of asking a favour, rather than giving an order.

Most hosts would prefer not to give their guests food that they dislike. Certainly, I'd rather know.

However, it IS rude and inconsiderate to spring it on your host at the last minute, when they're likely to have already planned the meal and bought the ingredients,

So you're moaning about being rude but would make a show of him being a fussy eater which is also rude

I would rather ask/be asked.

But if not, I would just keep everything crossed that I liked the meal. I wouldn't actually say anything though.

You're brave even doing a dinner party OP, I've given up. We might host a casual bring-a-plate gathering or BBQ and just put the basics on ourselves.

Allergies aside, every second person (myself included) is on some kind of 'way of eating' these days, before you even get into likes and dislikes. I can barely get my own family to agree on one thing to eat!

You'd be wrong to assune that. Apparently about 30% of adults self-identity as picky or fussy eaters, at least according to the Washington Post. Still more will eat most things but have one or two strong dislikes. Mushrooms and coriander perhaps, like one of my friends.
It's really quite common.
What's not so common is how this couple dealt with it, I think.

I cannot eat any food that's remotely spicy. It's not an allergy as such (though it doesn't do my acid reflux any good), I simply can't endure getting my mouth burned. That includes anything from pepper up.

Seafood - fish is fine, but I'm not eating invertebrates. Prawns look like insects (even more revolting out of their shells).

I can't stand the smell or curry or the texture of tapioca.

I someone asked me to dinner I'd be checking what they were making before accepting. I'm past being prepared to force myself to eat something to please someone who didn't bother to find out what I can eat.

I would definitely tell the host if I followed a certain diet, for example, vegetarian, pescatarian, etc., or if I was allergic to something. Preferences such as not liking aubergines and olives- I don’t think I’d mention it. I’ve just had small servings of them at other people’s houses when they’ve prepared dishes containing them.

I’ll try anything once… but game, offal and anything with aniseed/tarragon/fennel are wasted on me. I can’t stand the taste and have attempted them in numerous ways. Will get pushed around and bits nibbled at but passed onto the chap if possible.

im not a big seafood fan but will try it.

I really don’t like cream based Sauces and find them too rich but will eat them.

feed me strong spicy stuff at your peril as I will bloat within 30 mins to a painful degree and happily pass gas to relive the pain as and when it presents the opportunity for the rest of the evening.

I always ask guests if there is something they don’t like/cant eat and will happily work around the various dislikes etc.

currently have a gluten free, lactose free, tomato allergy and raw onion sensitive friend staying with me so am learning a whole new world of catering skills!

Incredibly rude.

I'd be tempted to tell them it's a potluck and to bring their own food.

I ask people if there’s anything they don’t eat. I once arrived at a friend’s place to be told she was cooking liver. She was very grumpy when I said I couldn’t eat it, but offal is literally the only thing you might serve as a main course that I can’t eat. I’d never serve pork or fish without checking.

My son's autistic and there is a lot of food he can't eat or doesn't wish to, due to texture etc.
Some man not guess that, so you never know:

It's good hosting to ask if there's something one doesn't eat.

I can’t stand lamb either.
I used to date a dreamy Yugoslavian man - so intelligent, so successful, so handsome and charming.
He took me to a BBQ with his “people” and as we walked around, they had racks of beautiful pork chops waiting to be charred. I was relieved, because I thought they were big on lamb.
So it was time to eat - salads & breads & potatoes, etc etc and these gorgeous chops - and I took a big bite, and it was LAMB!!
Damn. 😂
And I had to pretend like I enjoyed it so as not to offend my very gracious & lovely hosts.
But I could barely choke it down lol.

It does seem rude but then I always pretend I'm allergic to prawns because I really don't think I could manage to eat any if presented with them.

YABU. A good host should ask when the guest accepts the dinner invite. “Is there anything you don’t eat?”

We've started to ask in advance with some friends. In the past we didn't and they seemed ok with whatever we served but, having also eaten out with them since and seen how many questions they ask of the waiting staff and how many menu choices they reject we've realised that they didn't actually like many of the foods we'd been serving them at our home.

not unreasonable. Probably the #1 reason why I don't like to have ppl in for a meal anymore. Takes the fun out of everything and makes it a stressful high-stakes situation. So rude!!

It’s very rude to announce lots of dislikes at last minute when they know you’ve got ingredients in. Yes to making a small separate dish for her DH.

Sorry haven't RTFT but what happened to just being happy to be invited to someone's home for a meal. If you don't like it you move it around the plate or palm it off to your partner. It's really not that hard. People are so self-absorbed these days. Try it you might just like it ( not talking about allergies obviously). And it's ARFID ( not afrid as a pp said) and highly unusual in adults. If you have it just let your host know you are bringing your own food. FFS