Has anyone ever given you some life changing advice?

[scottyhannah]

My first ever boss told me to find my voice and do things with purpose.
It was a dig at the time as I was a shy little 17 year old but for some reason it stayed with me for the next 30 years and I still hear his voice butt into my head when I need motivation.
He would have no idea that his frustrated jibe would have helped make me who I am.

There are those who think they can, there are those who think they can’t. They are both right.

This is not a philosophical ability, it’s self-soothing.

They is no power in the universe making sure you only get ‘what’s meant for you’. It’s all just stuff that happens.

When people get cancer is it because it was ‘meant for them’, when they are raped? murdered? They were ‘meant’ to be murdered? The terrible grief of their loved ones was ‘meant for them’?

I’ve had absolutely terrible bosses who think they can when they couldn’t.

🙄 what a lovely person you are. Cheers 👍🏼

I think it's lovelier to question something than to accept people get what they deserve.
Do you actually believe there is a power in the universe making sure everyone gets what they deserve @saffy2 ? That the current state of affairs is right and just, because of what people have done? Because you're gonna get questions...

I’m not responding to you again. The post was about things that people have said to you as advice that have affected your life. I put one. I never said that I have good things because I have done better things, and I never said that people die because it was meant for them. I never even said I have good things, the first time this was said to me was because I was losing a boyfriend who I thought was good and this was a way of helping a teenager realise he wasn’t good for me. And I never said people get what they deserve.
youre putting words where I didn’t put them, and you’re ruining the point of the thread.
i find that really nasty.
i was merely taking part in the thread. And as I said, I won’t be responding to you again.

Never judge a man untill you have walked a mile in his shoes from a school teacher.

Trying to think of one but these are great -thanks!

I really like the quote ‘if you aren’t happy with what you’ve got, you won’t be happy with what you get’
to me it means that if you aren’t able to see the small joys and glimmers in life and be grateful for those even when things are tough because you are so focused on what is not good in your life, then you’ll always be focused on the bad rather than the good - even when things are better overall.
it’s a reminder to me to be grateful and to notice the little moments that make you smile

When someone tells you something - whether important, private, trivial etc. always ask yourself if tempted to share ‘is this my news to share?’ If not, keep it to yourself.

@saffy2 I think you have mistaken me for the poster who asked you whether you thought those things initially.

I understood your first post but calling people names for questioning it seems unnecessary.

It's perfectly fine to realise in retrospect that a particular option might not have been as good or essential as first thought. I don't also need to believe that the universe is dishing out consequences to people because "it's meant for them" to justify this.

It’s very open to interpretation. I wasn’t happy with my pokey little flat (although I appreciated having it in the first place), so I sold it and bought a little house. I was much happier with that. I wasn’t happy with the man I had so I became single and was much happier with that.

I think there is something positive lurking in that quote but it needs a rewrite. (More of a count your blessings kind of way).

@TruJay try a myers briggs personality test. You may find procrastination links to your personality. (Save this for when you've something v important to do obviously!)

"The Ship is safe in the harbour, but that's not what Ships are for"

(if you feel afraid of doing something out of your comfort zone)

"It's only money, I'll just make some more"

(definitely calms me down, if I feel I have splashed out on something!)

Everything is a phase.
A bit like “this too shall pass”, but it helped me through many early parenting moments. It also helped me smile when the smug mums would talk about their angels sleeping through, I let them have their moment.

Less stuff, more life.
My absolute favourite and so, so true. Declutterring has given me so much daily time back.

Behaviour breeds behaviour.
A take on how you treat others I suppose, but so often you can see a behaviour mirrored and then escalating.

Because I can.
I used this a lot when my husband left. Treated myself to things, redecorated, went out. It always makes me smile.

From my psychologist back in 2002: "Why don't you try not fighting the depression, you might find it to be less powerful and perhaps your periods of depression will be shorter".

In my first ever job out of university, it was very heavily admin, but things had to be done in very precise ways, and there were complicated methods for everything. Really not my strong suit, but I didn't know it then.

I ended up confiding in an older, more experienced colleague that I was finding it very overwhelming, and going home and worrying about it all.
She simply shrugged, and said, "You're not paid enough to worry about it."

That flipped a switch in my brain, and I've remembered, and thought of that simple sentence OFTEN since then.

Don't feel so bad about yourself and don't compare, you never know what's going on behind closed doors.
Bit sad, but helped dealing with life.

‘You ought (sp?) remember that life isn’t black and white, and we are all different’ - my gran to me as a teenager.

Life is not linear.

That prayer makes me shudder as it always brings to mind Margaret Thatcher.

This was actually said by Cher, quoting her own mother.
Maybe Dolly got there first? 🤔
I used to follow loads of Cher quotes in my early 20's. Particularly:
"I can't imagine anything worse than being a good girl"
Joan Collins is great for quotes too.
On the age difference between herself and the much younger Percy:
"If he dies, he dies" 😂

Usually - "the really silly question is the one you didn't ask"
Coupled with Never Assume, You will make an ASSofU&ME.

I don't think is true, necessarily. I am a complete perfectionist in my work and always get praised on my organisation, but my house and car are a complete mess!

I think this too, @saffy2, and it's a lovely philosophy to live by. I also tell it to my children when they are disappointed about something - it wasn't meant for them, and there will be other things in store for them.

I don't think we need to extrapolate and make it a negative thing at all, and I will continue to be reassured by it.