Has anyone ever given you some life changing advice?

[scottyhannah]

My first ever boss told me to find my voice and do things with purpose.
It was a dig at the time as I was a shy little 17 year old but for some reason it stayed with me for the next 30 years and I still hear his voice butt into my head when I need motivation.
He would have no idea that his frustrated jibe would have helped make me who I am.

Someone once said to me “ … so nothing is going to upset me today’.

I was only nineteen and now I’m really not but knowing that being upset about something OR NOT can be an active decision has been a useful piece of kit in my mind.

“The magic you’re looking for is in the work you’re avoiding”

I got chills down my spine when I first heard it, it hit SO hard. Now I try my best not to make excuses and to be consistent.

When I was a PhD student my supervisor pointed out that imposter syndrome was actually a form of arrogance. You think that you're fooling all these really experienced people and actually that's very dismissive of their own skills and ability to discern. That really, really changed how I thought about things and has stuck with me.

following

"Never let the sun go down on a customer's problem".

I've always applied this in my working life and now I'm self employed I live by it and (fingers crossed) it keeps getting me a lot of repeat business.

Yes.. Worrying means you suffer twice.
Read it somewhere years ago and it stuck.

Not to make a decision when I was angry.

my anger had actually finally given me the courage to leave abusive ex.

An appalled friend, when I told her angrily that that was it, I was leaving, was aghast, urging me not to make a decision when I angry.

Her words and clear horror at me, caused me to be overcome with shame, a belief that I was wrong, just as H was trying to make me feel ashamed and wrong if I left.

So I stayed and moved with him. And it destroyed me and my life and my kids.

Never ignore the truth and courage anger is showing you. Listen to your anger and steward it wisely. That is the advice I give now.

Oooh, I like this perspective.

An older neighbour when I was giving birth for the first time - "Don't let fear overwhelm you - it can feel daunting and lonely, but millions of women have gone before you, and we're all there with you in that moment. You can and will get through it and you'll be fine."

I held that with me through an extremely traumatic (life-threatening for me & DS) birth experience and I still think of it to this day. She didn't sugar coat it, but somehow her words gave me huge comfort, to think of this massive tribe of women who've had this experience, and that we're all part of this great chain of life.

My FIL told me 'if you're not happy with what you have, you won't be happy with what you get'

This has stayed with me for 15 years. It is so true. If you have a discontented and 'wanting' mindset, it doesn't matter what you get, you'll always want more.

BaroqueInterlude · Yesterday 23:51

Hard work is often an accumulation of easy work you didn't do when you should have done it.

This is so true and beautifully explained.

Nothing changes if nothing changes

You're not the only one with problems.

Helped me to see that I was moaning all the time and not listening to my friends enough.

'Your gut instinct is the knowledge you already have, telling you what you already know.'

Was said to me by an older man in work, when I felt something we were being advised to do by a design agency just wouldn't work but couldn't quite express why I thought that. Have pondered it often since, in and out of work.

Yeuch.

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm

To only worry about the things you can control.

Once you're in a situation that might not be what you want or what you expected accept the situation and do what you can to change it or adapt to it (this could be for big events or small day to day situations).

My driving instructor told me to “drive in a workman like manner!”

I think I was being too nervous and it was his way of saying be brave and in control. You know how to do it, so do it!
I passed my test.

1. A woman in the bank when I went to dissolve the joint account from my first ex husband. “Don’t cry about money! It’s only money!” And she was right. I definitely spend more than I should but life is for living and money is only money, after all.
2. A colleague telling me all about how she’d been looking into egg donation before she had her miracle baby. I was single at the time and my clock was ticking so loud I needed ear defenders. She planted the seed (Geddit?) that if I wanted to be a mum I didn’t need to wait for Mr Right and should get on with it at the clinic. (Long story short, after several disastrously failed attempts I did eventually meet Mr Right At The Time and have my own miracle, but it wouldn’t have happened unless I’d started down the path on my own with purpose).

A line from the drama series 'Better Call Saul'. One of the characters has messed up at work and when the friend who caused the problems offers help she says 'I save me'. I find that mindset to be empowering.

Ultimately we must rely on ourselves. It's so obvious when you think about it.

Ignore what people say, concentrate on what they do.

A woman in the bank when I went to dissolve the joint account from my first ex husband. “Don’t cry about money! It’s only money!” And she was right. I definitely spend more than I should but life is for living and money is only money, after all.

I don't understand this at all because having no money and poverty is a life changing devastating problem. I get that there's no point in crying if you have a mansion and want one with a swimming pool, but at a basic level money enables survival.

When I had a period of indecision and self-doubt at work, a friend said to me: "You've just got to ask yourself, what would a mediocre, posh man do here? And do that".

I use that advice all the time and not just in work situations.

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

From one of my big bosses in pharma: "mediocre planning and excellent implementation is better than excellent planning and mediocre implementation" sadly it seems to be lost these days of endless meetings about meetings about meetings before taking any action....