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Original poster

Has anyone ever given you some life changing advice?

314 replies

scottyhannah · 14/02/2024 16:47

My first ever boss told me to find my voice and do things with purpose.
It was a dig at the time as I was a shy little 17 year old but for some reason it stayed with me for the next 30 years and I still hear his voice butt into my head when I need motivation.
He would have no idea that his frustrated jibe would have helped make me who I am.

OP posts:
AngelinaFibres · 15/02/2024 17:24

"Don't let perfect be the enemy of good" . Just start it, produce something, refine it and then submit it. Better to do something that is good ( and actually exists) than the perfect version that will never exist because you'll never be able to start it.

PickAChew · 15/02/2024 17:30

Mine was a genuine LTB. Took me a few years to do it because I still hoped I could fix things but it changed my outlook.

GRex · 15/02/2024 17:30

"If you must be late, arrive ready without time-wasting explanations."

A client who I've now worked with for many years. Having since observed the sweaty running in, panting and over-explaining about trains etc - it wastes far more time. Turn up 5 minutes instead of 2 minutes late, with a simple "sorry I'm late" and dive right into the actual meeting. Train chat can always wait until the end of the session, for anyone who is actually interested.

AngelinaFibres · 15/02/2024 17:31

If you feel an irrational panic episode rising take yourself somewhere and just let it happen. Breathe and let the feelings rise and play out. You will not die. Absolutely nothing will happen.
If a bear is chasing you make sure you aren't the slowest person in the group.

anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled · 15/02/2024 17:36

The wrong man teaches you can do it all by yourself
The right man knows you can but won't let you

shrodingersvaccine · 15/02/2024 17:44

Hardbackwriter · 15/02/2024 06:58

When I was a PhD student my supervisor pointed out that imposter syndrome was actually a form of arrogance. You think that you're fooling all these really experienced people and actually that's very dismissive of their own skills and ability to discern. That really, really changed how I thought about things and has stuck with me.

As someone suffering terribly with imposter syndrome at the moment, this has blown my tiny mind. You're absolutely right, how dare I assume the people who hire me aren't clever enough to know better. This may have changed my life!

shrodingersvaccine · 15/02/2024 17:48

You've got through 100% of the things you thought you couldn't do/survive in the past, so you can get through this too.

Helps me when I think I can't possibly get through something. Statistically, I will. So just keep going!

violetcuriosity · 15/02/2024 18:01

Someone said to me if it's not going to matter in a month then stop worrying about it. That always stayed with me.

GingerLiberalFeminist · 15/02/2024 18:05

As a 19 year old I was living in a bedsit and running home every time my alcoholic mother called - to tidy up, look after my younger siblings, make sure she was ok.

My bf at the time shook me up when he said I needed to stop dropping everything and recognise it wasn't my responsibility. She'd thrown me out at 16 and I'd spent years still being an "adult child".

It was the wake up I needed to break away from the toxicity. Changed my whole life.

Although - I'm 42 now and my brother still harbours some resentment that I "abandoned" him. That's about him though, not me. He still answers DM's every call.

cocavino · 15/02/2024 18:24

Reading through these reminds me of a few more:

The good old serenity prayer: god grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

Similar to something said above: you don't have to berate yourself for a mistake. Just say oops and put it behind you.

piefacedClique · 15/02/2024 18:28

I had a job with lots of fine details when I was out of uni…. Completely out of my experience. I changed the date on a letter once thinking it was the right thing to do. I didn’t get told off but was told never be afraid to ask to check the finer details, “assumption is the mother of all fuck ups”. Being frightened to ask would’ve cost us a lot of money. I use it in school now although I replace ‘fuck ups’ with ‘mistakes’

Zanatdy · 15/02/2024 18:29

Iamnotawinp · 15/02/2024 15:36

There are some lovely ones on here. I think I’m going to get some A4 paper and write the ones that speak to me the most, and hang them up to remind me.

Something I’ve found in life - sometimes you have to make an important decision in your future (say changing jobs), but you don’t feel yet able to make a decision. Keep ALL your options open up until the last moment the decision has to be made. Sometimes time and events will have made the decision much easier, but you won’t have narrowed your options by inaction.

Also, try to be someone that under promises but over delivers. Try not to be that person that over promises and always under delivers (let’s you down).

Under promise over deliver is our management team moto we say it that often. We do aim to deliver well though, but we know that it’s far better to under promise and over deliver than the other way round, so we often see what we think we can do, and knock some off. Doesn’t mean we don’t put 100% into it but we have had our fingers burnt

canihaveonesomeroses · 15/02/2024 19:02

Want to make a hard task harder? Put off tackling it.

Ouch! True too often

Doughnuting · 15/02/2024 19:14

You do not have to blow out my candle to make yours glow brighter.

I wished everyone lived by this.

Coatscoatscoast · 15/02/2024 19:27

So many here I know and use and had forgotten!
‘Under promise, over deliver’ is a good one
’assumption is the mother of all fuck ups’
more recently I’ve decided to ‘think like a man’ - I’ve stopped carrying a handbag, refuse to buy clothes without pockets, and am determined not to feel guilty about job hunting

Wexone · 15/02/2024 19:32

Another one my father in law always said to was always leave the dinner table feeling you can eat more. as someone who was taught to clear her plate no matter what helps me keep weight stable

BeyondMyWits · 15/02/2024 19:44

"It is OK to not believe in God you know"... a throwaway comment made by Jane Asher in a newspaper interview many years ago.

Changed my life.

Readytoevolve · 15/02/2024 19:51

Yes.
“your job will always be to make your boss look good”

I’m self employed. It never left me.

Needathickskin · 15/02/2024 19:52

When people show you who they are, believe them.

Radyward · 15/02/2024 20:02

Dont be a busy fool in business
Comparison is the thief of joy
Isint having enough enough?. Not chasing more and more things/ money / status when what you have is enough.
Yes knowing not everyone will like you and accepting that.

fc123 · 15/02/2024 20:08

GiddyHam · 15/02/2024 17:10

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

That's always been one of my top ones.

Advice from my son's childminder 35 years ago when he was a toddler and into everything.

"Minimise the amount of times you need to say 'No' so that when you do have to say 'no' it means something.

So, as an example, we had a flat without plants or pointless things around ,so he didn't get told 'No! Do t pull the leaf off that and eat it' etc.
Used to drive me nuts visiting MIL's house as I as constant ' No! Don't touch that, No! Leave that alone !' And so on.
All she had to do prior to the visit was to move some of the fragile glass ornaments onto a higher shelf for a couple of hours.
Her view was an 18 month old must learn not to touch the 20 exciting sparkly glass ornaments all laid out on a low shelf just waiting to be played with.

Fishbones1 · 15/02/2024 20:12

I have these as my mantras:

“Judge a person by their deeds, not their words.”

“All fed, nowt dead.”

”They also serve who only stand and wait.”

”Be thankful for what you have, not resentful for what you have not.”

All of these are important to me - and remind me that the simple things are good enough, I’m good enough even if I’ve not achieved much and that people show you who they are rather than tell you.

Moanycowbag · 15/02/2024 20:15

After battling ocd thoughts all my life and finally falling apart because of them, a very lovely therapist told me that You don't have to believe everything you think! and this simple little sentence set me free from my exhausting dithering and inability to do things as my thoughts were overwhelming, who knew? I wish someone had told me years ago

Mindlesspuzzles · 15/02/2024 20:28

thatone · 15/02/2024 10:00

A line from the drama series 'Better Call Saul'. One of the characters has messed up at work and when the friend who caused the problems offers help she says 'I save me'. I find that mindset to be empowering.

Ultimately we must rely on ourselves. It's so obvious when you think about it.

Edited

Kim ? That seems like a very Kim mindset

Thepossibility · 15/02/2024 20:28

Worry is a wasted emotion.
And the classic a stitch in time saves nine. A say both to myself all the time.