Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone ever given you some life changing advice?

314 replies

scottyhannah · 14/02/2024 16:47

My first ever boss told me to find my voice and do things with purpose.
It was a dig at the time as I was a shy little 17 year old but for some reason it stayed with me for the next 30 years and I still hear his voice butt into my head when I need motivation.
He would have no idea that his frustrated jibe would have helped make me who I am.

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 16/02/2024 07:15

TinyKittenPaw · 15/02/2024 22:40

a colleague once took me aside after a terrible mistake I made at work and said: “you have survived every single bad day you have had in your life. Today will be no different”

What a lovely colleague ❤

NeedToChangeName · 16/02/2024 08:08

"Most people are quite ordinary looking". It's easy to feel self conscious about our looks, but good to remember that most people blend into the background

WaterBottlePurple · 16/02/2024 09:58

'The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.'

TheBayLady · 16/02/2024 10:39

Don't assume, check. Saves a lot of bother.

Fernticket · 16/02/2024 11:47

A still tongue makes a wise head.

Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship.
If you can't believe everything they say, then there will come a time when you won't believe anything they say.

Redkatagain · 16/02/2024 13:56

Two pieces of advice have stuck with me.
Get a pension
If you're bored read a book

NellysCheekPlaster · 16/02/2024 14:16

I was chatting with a friend about this thread, and life advice in general, last night. She told me that we her mum had a unique phrase to make sense of people who think they're better than you:

"We all got pushed out of a fanny, screaming with our arses out, and covered in slime"

thatone · 16/02/2024 14:16

"Mindlesspuzzles · Yesterday 20:28

thatone · Yesterday 10:00

A line from the drama series 'Better Call Saul'. One of the characters has messed up at work and when the friend who caused the problems offers help she says 'I save me'. I find that mindset to be empowering.

Ultimately we must rely on ourselves. It's so obvious when you think about it. Edited

Kim ? That seems like a very Kim mindset"

Yes it was Kim - I know things fell apart for her afterwards but she was so self-sufficient.

Hardbackwriter · 16/02/2024 16:24

NellysCheekPlaster · 16/02/2024 14:16

I was chatting with a friend about this thread, and life advice in general, last night. She told me that we her mum had a unique phrase to make sense of people who think they're better than you:

"We all got pushed out of a fanny, screaming with our arses out, and covered in slime"

I get the sentiment but an awful lot of babies are not born being 'pushed out of a fanny' so it seems a really odd example to choose!

Mumof2girls2121 · 16/02/2024 19:46

After I had my first DD I wasn’t eating properly and completely anaemic (didn’t know) my Grandad said to me one day if you don’t look after yourself whose going to look after your baby.
so right, I shouldn’t have needed to be told even!
but she’s 11 now and I still think it sometimes when I start getting rundown with the daily grind!

RubyPanda256 · 16/02/2024 20:02

A line from the film Princess Diaries has always stuck with me ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’

NotaNorovirusFan · 16/02/2024 20:23

Mine is different and not life changing but it’s stuck with me my whole life! when I was a really small child maybe about 2/3 an old lady in a bus station saw me crying about my sleeves going inside my jacket when my mum was putting it on and she bent over me and said “you need to hold your sleeves in your hand like this and they won’t go up” and showed me how to do it.

I have literally never forgotten her face and when I helped one of my kids put their jackets on when they were little I remembered her and her advice. I’m not sure why my mum never told me to do that, or maybe she did but I didn’t listen to her!

Parri · 16/02/2024 20:27

Don’t know if it’s life changing but was a oh my gosh realisation moment.
when talking to a therapist, and I was being rather negative about myself. She said, would you talk about one of your friends or family like that? I was like god no. She replied so why do you think it’s ok to talk about yourself like that?
I had no response…. It was a oh moment 🤦🏽‍♀️

Underestimated4 · 16/02/2024 20:33

I was struggling with my mental health after a domestic abuse relationship. I was so focused on keeping my daughter safe from it I neglected my own wellbeing. A support worker said to me:

”In order to be the best Mum you can be you have to be at your best”

She was so right. I got on the phone, spoke to the doctor, booked in counselling and took my life back and I’m such a better person and Mum for it.

poetryandwine · 16/02/2024 20:45

timbuktootoo · 14/02/2024 16:53

Yes - "How someone does anything, is how they do everything"
Look out for the small details about someone you're getting to know, it will tell you how they do the bigger things too.

This sounds great but I don’t agree.

I know many people whose work is their passion. They may be sloppy around the house or lack self discipline regarding health habits, but take infinite care with their work. (Some are great with relationships, others less so - I am focussing on their attitudes towards chores, etc).

Tiredhotmess · 16/02/2024 22:51

On parenting, I read a piece of advice once which has stuck with me even years later: if you don't listen when they are telling you the small stuff, they won't come to you with the big stuff.
This had such an impact on me, and I like to think I became a better parent because of it.

80skid · 16/02/2024 22:53

I gym class instructor used to shout "get comfortable being outside your comfort zone". Great advice for growth and new experience, also for being a big sweaty mess in a gym class

80skid · 16/02/2024 22:56

Hardbackwriter · 15/02/2024 06:58

When I was a PhD student my supervisor pointed out that imposter syndrome was actually a form of arrogance. You think that you're fooling all these really experienced people and actually that's very dismissive of their own skills and ability to discern. That really, really changed how I thought about things and has stuck with me.

That's great insight, I like that. Thanks

cockadoodledandy · 16/02/2024 23:12

caringcarer · 15/02/2024 00:34

If you're not sure of or don't understand something just ask. Don't just sit there wondering. A teacher said that to me once and it helped me a lot. I became a teacher and one of the first things I used to say to my tutor group each year was that. I told them you learn by asking for help, you learn nothing by staying quiet and hoping someone will explain.

I’m an analyst and I can’t agree with this more. My entire role is ‘to understand’ and I never leave the table until I do. No one is born knowing all of this, we’ve all had to learn. The key really important thing is to listen to what you’ve been told and remember. Asking different questions is fine but asking the same question repeatedly is inexcusable Either you’ve got the wrong question or you’re not listening to the answer.

NewyearNC · 17/02/2024 03:52

A senior at work once said ‘it takes 10 compliments to outweigh a negative comment’. It stuck with me as I think it applies in a personal setting too.

and ‘let them’ - if someone cuts you up on your way to work… let them. If someone says something rude to you… let them.

JustMyView13 · 17/02/2024 05:56

My boss passed on something her late father shared with her. He said, the trouble with worrying is you’re either worrying too early or too late.
Now when I’m worrying about something I ask myself which it is, and it really helps to ground me.

emziecy · 17/02/2024 06:27

Fortune favours the brave 🙂

BeachedOff · 17/02/2024 07:33

Pay closer attention to your second thought rather than the first one if you want to understand more about who you are.

saffy2 · 17/02/2024 08:19

My first boyfriend’s grandma. After he broke my heart, he’s not for you. What is for you wont go by you. So many times things/opportunities/people has gone by me and I have had the philosophy ability to understand that is because it’s not for me.
and other times something has come to me, mainly houses, and I have felt a true understanding that it is really meant for me. I was 18 when she said that to me, now 39 and I still use it to explain things to myself a lot.

saffy2 · 17/02/2024 08:21

NotaNorovirusFan · 16/02/2024 20:23

Mine is different and not life changing but it’s stuck with me my whole life! when I was a really small child maybe about 2/3 an old lady in a bus station saw me crying about my sleeves going inside my jacket when my mum was putting it on and she bent over me and said “you need to hold your sleeves in your hand like this and they won’t go up” and showed me how to do it.

I have literally never forgotten her face and when I helped one of my kids put their jackets on when they were little I remembered her and her advice. I’m not sure why my mum never told me to do that, or maybe she did but I didn’t listen to her!

Edited

My daughter hates this too and I have frequently taught her to hold her sleeves but she won’t, I can’t discern why, and she’s 5.5 so I’ve long given up. I need a stranger to tell her it so she might listen 😂😂😂