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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL wants to attend funeral but is supposed to be my childcare

889 replies

tinatsarina · 14/02/2024 08:32

So my MIL has the kids for me next Monday while I have 3 job interviews that afternoon. she's now told me she has to attend her sister in laws, brothers funeral. My parents both work so can't cover my childcare (half-term here). Told my partner to tell his mum she can't go but he said she's entitled to and people don't owe me anything. He's now potentially taking the day off even though she had already agreed to the childcare first AIBU to be annoyed that they are prioritising this funeral over the childcare?

OP posts:
PickledPurplePickle · 14/02/2024 15:57

Wow ! I hope this is a joke. What the heck is wrong with you

TheDowagerDoughnut · 14/02/2024 15:59

She can visit the family after. It's not easy for him to take time off. If she was employed they wouldn't give her the time off.

They very likely would, even if that meant reschedulling 3 interviews Grin

You're in the wrong here, OP. Family members as childcare comes with some pros (they are free or cheap) and cons (they cannot be held to a commitment and free to change their mind).

If that doesn't suit what you need, then you need another option.

wronginalltherightways · 14/02/2024 16:08

Your husband needs to facilitate your interviews; it's in his best interest to do so.

LetusandLoveit · 14/02/2024 16:08

tinatsarina · 14/02/2024 08:32

So my MIL has the kids for me next Monday while I have 3 job interviews that afternoon. she's now told me she has to attend her sister in laws, brothers funeral. My parents both work so can't cover my childcare (half-term here). Told my partner to tell his mum she can't go but he said she's entitled to and people don't owe me anything. He's now potentially taking the day off even though she had already agreed to the childcare first AIBU to be annoyed that they are prioritising this funeral over the childcare?

Seriously?

Your H has said he will take holiday.

That's how it ought to be.

You can't dictate when someone dies and has a funeral.

Honestly....

whatistheworld · 14/02/2024 16:09

WOW!!! just wow, you are completely unreasonable

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/02/2024 16:11

I'll probaby be eaten alive for this but I'm big and ugly enough to give therefore, im big enough and ugly enough to take. I'm going to go against the grain and say it is a tad bit shitty of her. Absolutely I'd be with everyone else saying YABU if this was a close relative's funeral. However her Sister in Law's brother its bit distant, is it. However on here you're an entitled to Princess if you have the darn stinking audacity to ask for help

PeggySooo · 14/02/2024 16:12

Good luck getting any more "childcare" if your MIL gets a whiff of this. I certainly wouldn't be doing it. YABU.

Boomer55 · 14/02/2024 16:12

A funeral trumps inconvenience. 🙄

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 14/02/2024 16:13

It’s a funeral. She is attending to show support and you heed to find alternative childcare.

Lampzade · 14/02/2024 16:15

Hope this is a reverse Op.

HollaHolla · 14/02/2024 16:17

Honestly. YABSoU. Can you not take a 1/2 day Annual Leave to look after your own kids? Imagine having the temerity to die not on your schedule.

MountainBarbie · 14/02/2024 16:17

Yab soooooooo u I wonder if this is a wind up surely? Even employers give their staff days off for a funeral, she's your MIL and doing you a favour for free and now a funeral has come up, clearly she should go to that and you'll have to arrange something else. Preferably without a strop.

HollaHolla · 14/02/2024 16:18

HollaHolla · 14/02/2024 16:17

Honestly. YABSoU. Can you not take a 1/2 day Annual Leave to look after your own kids? Imagine having the temerity to die not on your schedule.

Sorry - typo. Your HUSBAND take Annual Leave.

scottyhannah · 14/02/2024 16:21

Who will you expect to be doing the child care if you get one of these jobs?

Ohlookwhoitis · 14/02/2024 16:21

Told my partner to tell his mum she can't go

Who the actual fuck do you think you are? How dare you think your MIL exists only to look after your children. The cheek of you.

WearyAuldWumman · 14/02/2024 16:22

Bloody hell. Read the room.

WearyAuldWumman · 14/02/2024 16:25

tinatsarina · 14/02/2024 08:46

She can visit the family after. It's not easy for him to take time off. If she was employed they wouldn't give her the time off.

A decent employer would give her the time off.

Glittertwins · 14/02/2024 16:27

Sorry if this has already been said but this is why paid for childcare is the way to go.

GalileoHumpkins · 14/02/2024 16:28

Fuck me.

Calliopespa · 14/02/2024 16:28

Cafog · 14/02/2024 08:36

Seriously the most U thing I've read on here. You want to tell her she CAN'T go?! I've heard it all.

It’s actually worse, she wants DH to tell her she can’t go.

TheMainlySilentFrog · 14/02/2024 16:29

I got a book called Fesshole at Christmas. One of the confessions was from someone who passed time on their commute by making up AIBUs and posting them on Mumsnet. I hope this was one of them because no one is that insensitive surely?

Moveoverdarlin · 14/02/2024 16:31

WOW!! Let’s hope that the people interviewing don’t ask…are you adaptable? Can you juggle and multitask? Do you think problems through in a calm and considered manner?

Why doesn’t YOUR Mum take the day off? Or your Dad? Or DH? It’s a fucking funeral!! It’s her SIL brother! You will never regret attending someone’s funeral, but my goodness you can regret not attending. You have no idea of their relationship, my parents and all their siblings have been married 50-60 years, long before their children’s spouses came on the scene.

BlueGrey1 · 14/02/2024 16:32

How can’t you see that you are being unreasonable, obviously she couldn’t force someone dying, and yes I think she should go to the funeral

springbrigid · 14/02/2024 16:33

tinatsarina · 14/02/2024 08:32

So my MIL has the kids for me next Monday while I have 3 job interviews that afternoon. she's now told me she has to attend her sister in laws, brothers funeral. My parents both work so can't cover my childcare (half-term here). Told my partner to tell his mum she can't go but he said she's entitled to and people don't owe me anything. He's now potentially taking the day off even though she had already agreed to the childcare first AIBU to be annoyed that they are prioritising this funeral over the childcare?

YABU, funerals are very important to some people. Your childcare needs don't have to come first. Pay a babysitter like most people have to!

Chaptertwobegins · 14/02/2024 16:37

H