MIL wants to attend funeral but is supposed to be my childcare

[tinatsarina]

So my MIL has the kids for me next Monday while I have 3 job interviews that afternoon. she's now told me she has to attend her sister in laws, brothers funeral. My parents both work so can't cover my childcare (half-term here). Told my partner to tell his mum she can't go but he said she's entitled to and people don't owe me anything. He's now potentially taking the day off even though she had already agreed to the childcare first AIBU to be annoyed that they are prioritising this funeral over the childcare?

You’re lucky you’re not my DIL, I’d be telling you to fuck right off.

When someone does you a favour, which it seems your MIL regularly does, it’s on her terms. Not yours. The funeral is entirely irrelevant, if she doesn’t want to help you that day, she doesn’t have to!

Pay for your sodding child care then. Don't expect family to do it.

Or don't work and look after them yourself. You brought them into the world so child care is your responsibility.

I have to say this is one of the most entitled posts I have read!

This has to be a joke! Wow, just wow

Probably sensible based on OP's other threads tbh.

Yes you are being totally unreasonable expecting her not to attend a funeral just to do your childcare. Whether it was prearranged doesn't matter as funerals are always going to be at short notice! Can't believe you're actually asking this.

@whatsitcalledwhen yup. OPs threads are shitshows. The boyfriend is a cokehead 🤢

Clearest YABU I’ve read on here in ages. What an awful attitude you have.

Oh how inconvenient someone has died and she wants to pay her respects. Give your head a wobble GTFU. Contact them and rearrange the interview for another date.

I really don't think most employers would let you go to your in laws in laws husbands relatives funeral. Who you don't even see. Not even family! I don't know where these pp work but most places you'd struggle to get your own sil never mind their relatives spouses.

I think if you were on the breadline and absolutely had no one else to help look after the children at all (ie single parent) and not getting these jobs would mean you were going to be homeless, then yes, I'd understand. As it happens, your DH is taking the day off. They are joint his responsibility with you, not MIL. So in this case I think YABVU (and coming across as an entitled brat)

This. I'd be very surprised if she'd want to help you out. Yes HELP YOU out ever again.

YABU. Whilst I can understand it’s inconvenient for you , your MIL didn’t plan the timing of her friends death . It’s not your’s or DP’s place to tell her what she can and can’t do ! .She wants to pay her respects and you’ve found a solution so problem solved !!

Wow is this for real? Even if she hasn’t seen him in a few years she still wants to go and that’s her prerogative .

People attend funerals for all sorts of reasons and they are usually planned last minute. If you are using family for childcare you need a back up. What if she was ill? She should drag herself to care for your kids? Your DH should take the day off. His mum is cancelling so he should step up. You sound entitled and selfish.

In case of any doubt: YABVVVU

I mean if the MIL wanted to spend the next 3 weeks trying to hatch an egg or count the leaves in her garden she is still within her rights to do that. The entitlement is astounding!

She’s not “employed” though is she. Jeez, you sound hard work.

I am speechless... surely it cannot be the first time you've noticed other people have lives and stuff? YABVU

YABU and incredibly entitled to think you and/or your husband can tell her not to go.

Your DH will have to take leave if there is no one else to provide childcare. Or you’ll have to rearrange your interviews.

Wow, just wow

Well your mother in law clearly has a lot to put up with!

If one of my team tells me they need a day of for a funeral I don't quiz them on how closely related they are to the person first

The only reason I would need to know if it was someone close enough that they needed full on bereavement leave e.g. for a parent or child etc. But for a simple day off they get the day off

This has to be wind up - YABVVVU and I hope she never agrees to watch your kids again. I wouldn’t.

YABU, The more you reply the more unreasonable I think you are.