MIL wants to attend funeral but is supposed to be my childcare

[tinatsarina]

So my MIL has the kids for me next Monday while I have 3 job interviews that afternoon. she's now told me she has to attend her sister in laws, brothers funeral. My parents both work so can't cover my childcare (half-term here). Told my partner to tell his mum she can't go but he said she's entitled to and people don't owe me anything. He's now potentially taking the day off even though she had already agreed to the childcare first AIBU to be annoyed that they are prioritising this funeral over the childcare?

Wow OP, just wow... Maybe the funeral should be rescheduled to go long with your plans...
My good god give your head a shake! Let's hope you never lose anyone, though I'm sure if their funeral gets in the way of your life you won't have any of it. Why oh why can't people die according to your schedule...

YABU you sound selfish and entitled.

yep, YABU.

Several years ago a close relative of mine passed away. It took several days of liaising with family members from around the UK, church availability and undertakers schedule to come up with a date that was convenient for us all. When the funeral date was announced in the local press an elderly gentleman contacted me and asked if we could move the funeral to another date as he normally went to his daughter's for lunch on a Wednesday! At that point in time I thought I had heard it all . . . apparently NOT!

If I was your MIL and you told me that I should prioritise looking after your children over going to a funeral (and you were already moaning about me going on a trip) then I would not be doing any more childcare for you ever again and would probably be going NC.

I’m hoping this is your idea of a joke.
If not, please try & imagine yourself as a bereaved person who would really need some support following the loss of a person dear to them. Child care is of course difficult. However there are some situations that take precedence. A funeral of a family member or friend is one of them.

I amend my previous statement about putting your children in proper childcare OP. Had I realised that you were the poster who posted about how your children’s childcare setting should spend more time taking lots of unnecessary photos of your children instead of looking after the other children then I wouldn’t have wasted my time saying it. I hope this means they dropped you for again being so rude and entitled, would serve you right. Perhaps finally maybe learn the lesson that life is trying to teach you. Grow up and stop treating people appallingly because you believe you’re the centre of the universe. News flash, you’re not and no one has to care about your feelings when you’re self-serving and nasty.

YABVU and entitled !

She does you a favour. It’s not her duty.
If I were her I’d tell you to mind your kids yourself from now on.Pay for child care or give up your job.

Who do you think you are?

You dp being reasonable.

Why didn't the silly old man die on schedule?

YABU. Very.

YABU

It doesn't matter if she hasn't seen the deceased for years. She may want to go to support her SIL.

Grandparents are not obliged to provide childcare....

YADBU! What’s wrong with you? She’s not allowed to go to a funeral, eh? Grow up and stop thinking other people exist only to serve you!

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU

@puzzledout I don't know how to search! Tbh I don't want to know, that would take me down a rabbit hole. I'm very bored at the minute.
In that case, OP sort it out. It's a funeral, she may just want to go to pay her respects. Or be there for her sil. She doesn't have to explain her reasons. Going forward, if you get one of the jobs, paid childcare is the way. Regular childcare is too much to expect from anyone.

Normally, I’m the first to defend anyone when someone has committed to something then let them down, usually for a lame reason or a better offer.

however, in this instance it’s a funeral. Hubby day off work whether that be annual leave or emergency day.

If your DH can't get the time off why can't you reschedule your interviews citing that you have childcare issues due to your MIL attending a funeral

Job interviews can be rearranged. Funerals cannot. They are your children not hers. Ask a friend if your dh can’t help. Or book childcare. You sound incredibly selfish tbh.

A funeral is a one-off event and MIL clearly wants to attend this one. The person obviously meant enough to her to make her do this and I doubt she is trying to snub you. She can't just go to it another day.

Your child is your responsibility, and your DH's. I realise that the timing is very unfortunate for you due to your job interviews but it really does sound best if DH can get the day off work, as he is trying to do. If he can then great, no further issues. If he can't then you'll have to try and come up with another arrangement, like a trusted friend or neighbour to look after your child.

Do you use any professional childcare at all, like a childminder or nursery? If so then it could be worth asking if they have any space available on that day and paying the extra this month.

I hope you do find a suitable arrangement, but you really can't expect your MIL to not go to the funeral if she feels she should. That's entitled and unfair of you.

Am with the consensus here. It’s a funeral. YABU

Make other childcare plans or rearrange the interviews - any decent prospective employer will understand that there is a family funeral and that it has impacted your childcare plans.

The funeral is actually irrelevant.

These are not her kids and it’s up to you and DH to look after them.
She owes you nothing.

She was kind enough to offer to look after them so DH didn’t need to take a day off, but now something more important has turned up and she now can’t do it.

Its honestly mad that you are annoyed over this.

You’re going to struggle both working if your DH can’t even get any time off for your interview.

It sounds like all the sick days are going to be your responsibility and any new employer is going to find that frustrating.

I really hope this is a reverse because if it is real you really need to take a long hard look at yourself. You come across like an entitled, spoiled brat.

This can’t be for real?? If it is, you sound like an actual horror. I pity your husband, kids and MIL having a selfish ogre like you for a wife, Mum and DIL!

Wow....you sound nasty.

Ask your MIL to insist that her relatives do not die at inconvenient times for you.

YABU. Seriously grow up

@tinatsarina I’m curious to know what your partner’s response was when you asked him to tell his mom she can’t attend a funeral.

Are you prepared to pay for extra childcare, because if you’re this unreasonable, your MIL might quit.