Sick of pretending to wear heels

[EarthyMangold]

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

Lovely boots. Better for trousers than a dress I’d say.
However, they are a prime example of the mis-sizing I referred to earlier. Look at the EU size compared to U.K. size on this chart. Birkie has 44 as a 9.5. This company has it as size 11. I need a 44 in sandals but a 45 really in shoes. Nobody but Birkies and DMs do them (and I get cross that they don’t even do their more feminine styles that big a lot of the time).

DMs are not appropriate for a wedding full stop for both women and men.

That depends on the wedding surely?

I like heels but now in my 50’s and had sever bunions since birth I can’t wear heels now. No one has to use heels.

I'd like to add to the sizing thing.

Most shops will say they stock size 3s. But the European size inside is 36. 36 is a 3.5.

If you're a small 3 (ie can get away with a 2.5), a 36 is massive!

As size 8.5-9 with flat flop I am well into sketchers and mens shoes (some of which are same like women's just wider and bigger size! - looking at you Toms) lots of shoes are unisex at the end of the day.
Ballerinas are usually shite because the heel isn't lifted at all.

I didn't grow in in IK our rage were DC shpes❤️ Ah the comfort

You don’t think I’m more aware of what will work on my feet than you?
I didn’t bother with all t(e other details before, but I also need insoles to support hyper mobile feet and ankles, so it needs to be a full shoe. I can’t have the ‘edge’ of the shoe where that finishes. This isn’t fussing - I get blisters and blood very, very fast. I’d also be willing to bet that even what they call a 12 isn’t a 10. Whoever a company says that and I order it turns out that, while their ‘standard’ size 5 and 6 are true to size they just get relatively smaller as they go up the range.

Watch out for pavers with mis sizing eu/UK

I’d say wear what you like.

Have you tried Fly style wedges with very chunky soles?

https://www.legendfootwear.co.uk/products/fly-london-beso246fly-cool-leather-womens-shoes-8377

https://www.legendfootwear.co.uk/products/fly-london-baxe428fly-leather-womens-shoes-8570

i think heels being obligatory is quite an old fashioned point of view , im in my twenties and have never felt as though i had to wear heels. i never do and nobody has ever commented on it

Perhaps you could create your own thread where you can list each and every shoe you cannot possibly wear?

Yes, @BeachBeerBbq
Im fed up of people telling me Pavers are comfy and do big sizes. They d9nt. They just pretend they do. I’m not sure what the purpose is, to be honest. People aren’t going to buy shoes that don’t fit, surely?

Well obviously. My cousin went to a friend's wedding recently. Full on gothic attire. That's their style. Everyone there is very much in the alternative scene and they looked fantastic. Most weddings aren't like this and if the OP cares about the people who's wedding she's attending she should be asking them. Not Mumsnet.

If she's just going to wear those boots because she bloody well wants to then that's disrespectful.

Perhaps you could take my word for it that my options are limited?
I don’t need a thread. I know what fits me and where to buy it.
Im just a bit sad about the number of people who will look at me and think I’m rude/inappropriately dressed/attention seeking/haven’t made an effort.
Then again, people in real life don’t seem to do it. It’s a MN thing, this judgement of anyone slightly different from you.

Yes, but you don't seem to have grasped that this thread isn't about your particular challenging extra special feet.

I don't get this 'appropriate' for a wedding thing, I would think it's best for guests to go as the better version of themselves, so I'd be fine with DMs, but then I don't care if you wear DMs at a funeral either. I don't have the kind of family who would be inspecting footwear or commenting on attire at either occasion though.

I like boots like that with dresses! Some internet examples:

24017201.81 (768×961) (amplience.net)

P1250035.JPG (1106×2048) (bp.blogspot.com)

IMG_5099-982x1590.jpg (982×1590) (curvilyfashion.com)

Didn't know that about the inconsistent size equivalence! How annoying.

They are awful, how can they be comfortable.?
I appreciate it's fashion but come on, seriously, a pretty dress and these monstrosities.!!

You have a hell of a life with your poor feet @cardibach

My wee granny gets her shoes on prescription and manages to wear appropriate shoes for weddings, funerals and christenings.

She's got a lot of issues with her feet too. I'll buy her those Fashiola fake DMs the OP posted since they're so comfy. She'll be well chuffed. Reckon they do them in a size 3?

I’m pointing out that people’s judgement is unhelpful. Threads drift depending on who posts on them.
I’m also not being so bloody unpleasant. How rude you are to use that tone about ‘extra special feet’. Way more disrespectful than wearing comfortable shoes to a wedding. Do you think I like being so limited?

Blimey

Recently went to a family wedding where the bride wore pink Doc Martens under a traditional white dress

It’s very Cyndi Lauder 1986.

I wore heels to a wedding recently. I think I was the only one. 😩

All other guests were in flat, clunky shoes and the bride's mother had on some rather fabulous purple doc martin shoes.

Unless this is some kind of uber posh society wedding, I think you'll be good in whatever you want to wear, tbh.

It also depends on the weather/time of wedding, for a winter/early Spring wedding lots of people will be wearing black shoes and boots of varying chunkiness, after that time you will look too hot and bothered and it just doesn't have the same vibe later in the year.

My sister wore white DM boots for her wedding. They looked great.