Sick of pretending to wear heels

[EarthyMangold]

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

Wrong. OP's AIBU is:

*YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome"

So people are voting that the boots are suitable.

She asked for opinions on shoes, not you and others haranging her on her dress so you can ridicule it.

I looked into get some of those sparkly silver DMs for a wedding - so it's still wedding appropriate and shows you've made an effort but you're also comfortable as you are. They have second hand ones on Vinted sometimes?

@chiwwy have you got shares in doc marten?

Can I also note that OP said "long Doc Marten style boots" so we don't actually know what these boots might look like.

Yes, some of the other shoes suggested are far uglier than DMs to me! But that’s fine. People should still wear what they want.

I think the fact that so many people still think DMs are workmen’s boots as opposed to a mainstream fashion accessory, says it all; these people’s views are not to be taken seriously!

Of course you don’t have to wear heels but there’s a gap between heels and Dr Martens. Dr Martens are not appropriate for most weddings

Totally agree with you.
I loath the dress and trainer look too. I am not a big heel fan but there are loads of flatter shoe styles out there.

Wear what your comfortable in and will enjoy the day in. I'd rather a guest attended in DMs than not attend at all.

I'm a trainer person, I wore white converse under my wedding dress much to mother annoyance.

Hope you a marvellous time and wear the DMs. Life is too short for heels and discomfort.

Can I also note that OP said "long Doc Marten style boots" so we don't actually know what these boots might look like.

Yep, correct - they aren't actually Docs but I am sure the haters are still gonna hate! I'm gonna wear them with pride with my knee length black and pink flowery dress!

images.app.goo.gl/xebrzCYVPtMK7SSu5

Unlikely, given I don't even own any DMs.

I do think women should be comfortable though and I wouldn't have given a crap had women worn them at my very big wedding.

Can you give me an example of what you'd wear to a wedding? Or do you show your toes? That's were I am struggling (and a lot of older women). We need flat, toe covering flats but still want to be able to walk.

Yeah those are worse than the DMs I was picturing.

Just wear what you like. Honestly conforming and people pleasing is overrated. Comfort and confidence is not.

I have heels and Doc’s I wear whatever takes my fancy.

i love love shoes including heels. I don't see your issue with finding a nice dressy flat - Everyone from Chanel to Primark doe nice flats
If ya want to wear DM's crack on but i dint think they are appropriate for a wedding and to me sound odd

I think you’ll look fab and you’ll be comfortable so you can enjoy the wedding fully.

I wore pink pumps to a wedding last summer, they looked great with my satin dress.

I thought a denim jacket someone was wearing was too casual though. So clearly different people have different views.

My neighbour's daughter scandalised her guests by revealing a very chunky - and comfy - pair of DMs under her dress.

If the bride can, then so can you. It's hardly going to throw the world ir even the wedding off course!

Guarantee the answers would be different if you'd ask "can I wear fast fashion combat boots"?

This is such a horrible attitude. Wear what you want in your own day to day life but there are standards for certain events. It's like showing up in colour to a funeral.

Colour at a funeral and doc martens at a wedding are fine if you've been given the go-ahead. But the attitude of "you do you hen and stuff what everyone else thinks" is selfish.

The OP could just ask the bride and groom.

@chiwwy

I do think women should be comfortable though and I wouldn't have given a crap had women worn them at my very big wedding.

Neither would I but it's bold to assume. The OP should either ask or buy something more appropriate. Every adult knows what is appropriate wedding attire. And it doesn't have to mean uncomfortable dresses and heels.

Fucking hell 😂

OP have the decency to ask the bride about these first. Absolutely pointless asking on AIBU as you don't give a shit that people are telling you you should wear more appropriate comfortable shoes.

This isn’t true of everyone. A ‘nice pair of flats’ just isn’t comfortable for me as the shapes are all wrong. Also I can’t even get them most of the time due to size 10 feet. Seriously, my choices are DMs or Birkenstocks. Anything else rubs and hurts or is unavailable anyway. And if a bride cares more about how I look in the pictures than whether or not I’m in pain…well, it wouldn’t happen. I’m not friends with anyone that shallow. Don’t give a flying fuck what other guests think.
I would wear new DMs not battered ones though. Hope that’s ok with you.

Those are stupidly high, wedges don’t bend and are a danger. The straps would all rub. They aren’t available in my size.
I know I’m not the OP, but honestly, trust people that they know what will and won’t work with their own feet and ankles.

7 pages into this thread, and I’m starting to think that these “nice flats” are like the mythical Mumsnet chicken, everyone is talking about how they exist but nobody has linked to any! There are couple of links to platforms / shoes with 3-inch blocky heels, and one link to a pair of sandals, but none of these are FLAT SHOES 😂

OP, wear the DMS, I bet you’ll look amazing!

footwear is rude and attention seeking? I’ve heard it all now.
DMs aren’t the province of secret groups of punks and other special groups anymore. They are mainstream. Nobody gives them a second glance, so they won’t get attention.
The ‘rude’ bit I can’t even fathom…