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When you enter someone’s home what is the consensus and reason

132 replies

Lighrbulbmo · 11/02/2024 15:18

For who greets first please.
please be kind and help me out, I have a regular visitor who arrives and doesn’t greet me. They might after a bit say something but the lack of a hi or hello is really annoying. I am a generous and nice host I think…. I am also prepared to be told I’m wrong but please can I gather opinions?

YANBU it’s basic manners to greet the host rather than ignore them
YABU it doesn’t matter

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

595 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
MrsTerryPratchett · 11/02/2024 15:21

Do you go to the door?

missmollygreen · 11/02/2024 15:22

Context needed.
Who are they they to see?

WinterDeWinter · 11/02/2024 15:23

they .. just walk in, silently?!

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 11/02/2024 15:25

This is hard to understand. You open the door and say hi and they walk past you into the house and demand a cuppa without uttering a word like hello??

Lighrbulbmo · 11/02/2024 15:26

They walk in and are silent

OP posts:
thedancingparrot · 11/02/2024 15:26

Context is required. Essentially if you enter someone’s home you greet them. Are you at the door to let them in or do they have a key? Is this an adult child, dog walker, cleaner?

splatmouse · 11/02/2024 15:28

Stand in the centre of the doorway. Do not stand aside until they say... something.

Itslegitimatesalvage · 11/02/2024 15:28

We need more info. Is this a friend of your kid and they walk in without talking to
you but go up to your kid to hang out?
A friend or family member of your partner who ignores you and goes to them?

Or a friend or family member actually there to see you but they just sit silently in your home?

We really do need more info. Do you have conversation but they just don’t say hello? What goes on after they’ve come in.

Fitandfree · 11/02/2024 15:28

More info please - who are they visiting and do they come alone?

Changingplace · 11/02/2024 15:29

Lighrbulbmo · 11/02/2024 15:26

They walk in and are silent

You open the door and say hello, and the walk right past you saying nothing and go into your house?

I’d stop answering the door, who are they? Why are they visiting?

Lighrbulbmo · 11/02/2024 15:29

@MrsTerryPratchett no they walk and are friends with another family member

OP posts:
murasaki · 11/02/2024 15:30

That's odd. If you let them in, surely they say hello when you open the door, e.g. a tradesman or friend, and if they let themselves in, the same? My cleaner lets herself in and if I'm around my first words are always 'hi, how are you' or something like that. Very odd to enter silently.

Social niceties.

Lighrbulbmo · 11/02/2024 15:31

Ok sorry I see more info needed I was trying to be all mysterious to avoid anyone knowing it’s me!!
an adult mid 20
they just walk in with my adult dc
no need to knock the door

OP posts:
GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 11/02/2024 15:32

Do they let themselves in and just ignore your existence?

In answer to your question, I'd expect the person whose home it is to greet first - something like 'hello, come in'.

If it's someone close, like a sister or whatever, who just walks in I'd expect a 'hellooo!' to let me know they're in the house.

lifebeginsaftercoffee · 11/02/2024 15:33

Do you say hello to them?

SgtJuneAckland · 11/02/2024 15:33

Adult child's partner?

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 11/02/2024 15:34

Oh, OK, so they're your DCs guest, not yours. Girl/boy friend? Shy?

If you say 'Hi Bob, how are you today?' do they respond?

Trez1510 · 11/02/2024 15:35

One of my brothers is not the most communicative of people.

He just nods, doesn't speak when he comes to visit me, or anyone else for that matter.

Once he's been asked if he wants a coffee and is settled, he'll chat then.

People are different.

noooooooo · 11/02/2024 15:36

Yeah, was going to guess teen/ YA male. Just say hello to them by name. It comes across as rude, I agree, although may not be intended as such, some people seem to find social niceties difficult. I had a flatmate who couldn’t meet women’s eyes, he wasn’t a serial killer or anything, just shy!

Lighrbulbmo · 11/02/2024 15:37

@SgtJuneAckland yes, we’ve know her ages. It feel uncomfortable to be ignored. I say hi if I see them come in and my son will call hi. She says nothing.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 11/02/2024 15:38

My adult son's friends don't always greet me when he brings them in, some do and it's lovely, others are less outgoing or are here to see DS2 because they've got something on their mind, so they just go straight upstairs. I couldn't give a monkeys tbh, they're here for DS2, not me; they are his guests. DS2 does always check beforehand that it's ok to bring someone in - I've never said no, but I appreciate his consideration.

noooooooo · 11/02/2024 15:39

Saw the update! Young woman. Okay, same, basically. Maybe not awkwardness around the opposite sex so much but I suspect whatever it is that’s making her behave like that has nothing to do with you. She may have other stuff going on.

PutMyFootIn · 11/02/2024 15:39

Stick your face right up to hers and say hello.

TeenDivided · 11/02/2024 15:39

If a family member brings a guest home I expect: 'hi I'm home and I have Jim with me'
to which I either call out 'Hi Jim' or go to meet them.

Teq · 11/02/2024 15:40

My FIL used to do this, OP. We got on well but he could be a little odd in some ways. We’d invite him, he’d arrive, DH would normally go outside when FIL’s car arrived to greet him, FIL could come in, say hi to the dogs, and then kind of just sit down despite me saying hello/asking how his trip was.

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