AIBU to be annoyed my hair has been damaged before I’m about to give birth. Also worrying about how I’ll still manage my self care routine to keep me sane and in a good headspace after baby is born?

[NewbieToThis]

Silly post I know and with worse going on in the world I shouldn’t allow myself to get annoyed about my hair being partly fried with bleach damage before I’m about to have my baby next month but I am. I love my hairdresser she does an amazing job getting my hair as blonde as it is but I think because I’ve had it bleached/highlighted so many times during this pregnancy (and the first 3 times by a different hairdresser) and because the high lift colour was pulled through to the ends to get rid of dull blonde the last time I had it done which was last week parts of my hair have had it. I’ve had several inches cut off my hair during the times I’ve got my hair lightened which is fine but I’m going to need at least 2 inches cut off next time I have my roots done right before my baby is born. I’ve ordered olaplex no 3 to help build my hair back up. I plan on still just having my roots done but nothing done to the ends. I’m just annoyed as my baby is due and I’m worried how I’ll still have the time to do my self care to help my mental health. I have a very supportive husband and good people around but I’m the type of person who overthinks and thinks I’ll not get the time. My appearance being bad really affects my mental health so I’m praying the olaplex treatments do the trick and that extra two inches gets rid of a lot of it. My hair is shoulder blade length.

I know I’m going to get a lot of people telling me to go back my natural colour but my natural colour is disgusting and because I’m not naturally pretty I need a bright colour to perk my complexion up. I know a lot of people will say I’ll not care when baby is here but I know myself that I will. What should I do?

@NewbieToThis I once completely frazzled my hair dying it blonde, it all starting falling out lol
I was lucky enough my hairdresser was able to sort this out. I don't know what conditioning treatment she used but it completely fixed my straw hair. Maybe ask around different hairdressers to see what they would recommend? I'm based in Belfast so probably can't recommend mine to you.
In the end I got rid of rhe blonde and now keep it a red colour which is so much kinder on my hair as I just top it up with colour masks. The bleach really damages your hair over time and mine just looked so thin .I tlooks so much healthier now I'm not bleaching it

Self care should come way down the line once the baby arrives. The baby should come first before you worrying about your bloody hair. Get a grip woman.

🙄

Reading this has wasted 3 minutes of my life. 🙄

Perhaps if you were smarter you'd have spent less time reading a thread you have no interest in. Perhaps if you were nicer, you wouldn't have felt the need to tell us.

I mean this with kindness but relax with your hair. Pregnancy changes the texture, volume of hair and from the sounds of it you've bleached it a lot. Your hair is telling you its enough by breaking! I think you should take this as a sign to ease up, consider low lights or adding colour rather than lightening. I know people who are so committed to their really light blonde but honestly it might not look as great as your think and also its really damaging. Post pregnancy you might experience a period of hair loss as well, its all the hormone changes. Think of it this way, motherhood is one of the biggest changes you can possibly experiance why not try something different with your hair too?

The best way to improve how you look, if that's important to you, is fresh air, exercise, strength training, a nutritious minimally processed diet, adequate rest and stress management. Not bleach, fake tan or lip fillers.

You'll have time to get your hair done. Time to shower, nails whatever! Babies nap, can be put in a crib or taken care of by someone else. I had two under two and always managed to shower and do whatever else I needed to in the mornings (without any help - my husband worked away or left the house by 7am).

Be kind to yourself OP. Looking after a baby is both incredibly hard and incredibly rewarding. If hair-care is what makes you happy when it's time for your DH to take a shift, do that. If when it comes to it you find you just want a warm bath and to catch up on sleep that's absolutely fine too. It's not letting yourself down, you are doing the right thing for what you need in that moment. There's all the time in the world for blonde hair, and if you can breastfeed that's brilliant for dropping weight off again.

I promise you, when you look at photos 20 years down the line you'll just think how beautiful your little family were. Even if it's hard to see at the time.

By the time you've had the kid what hasn't already fallen out will be either so brittle or greasy you'll be spending your beauty time googling wigs anyway.

Yes it's very clear many people haven't read the OPs other threads.

They are indeed very concerning.

I am genuinely really quite worried.

Having a baby is absolutely life and soul changing. It changes everything.

OP is worried about her hair and saying if the kid has any issues or disabilities and she will place the kid up for adoption.

She wants the baby to immediately go in his own room as she doesn't want her make her dogs sleep downstairs.

It's beggars belief.

I really really hope your partner is supportive and you have spoken to your midwife and GP.

She is worried about finding time to do her normal self care. Valid concern but you have to come to terms with the fact that YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE AND WILL CHANGE QUITE DRASTICALLY.

You just absolutely make time to take care of yourself but you MUST realise that this will look different when you have a baby. You can't just do what you like when you like. Baby comes first and ANYTHING you are doing is often interrupted by a baby. Whether that be doing laundry, doing a hair mask or taking a sh*t!!

You won't always have time to do make up before you need to leave the house.

You might have to wait to go to the toilet.

You might not eat for a few hours after being up with to baby.

You might eat at 9pm.

You might go a few days without a shower.

LIFE IS DIFFERENT after a baby.

Of course you'll have people here saying, well I always managed to do XYZ but on the whole, life changes drastically.

GET READY to make some big sacrifices.

I hope to God you have a supportive partner who is very hands on. Your son ALWAYS has to come first. No matter what.

@scoobysnaxx are you sure its this thread your talking about and not mixing it up with other poster? I've read all ops replies and have seen no mention of talking about dogs and baby sleeping on its own .

@NightSkyWanderer no it's definitely her. If you search her username the other posts will come up.

Other posts of hers, not her replies on this thread

@scoobysnaxx I didn't even realise you could search usernames 🙈

@NightSkyWanderer lol yes just click search , don't type anything and just filter by username and type the username in the box

It’s worth talking to your hairdresser about a lower maintenance approach that won’t need such regular colour appointments. Much more bleach and your hair will snap off, and you will have less time once your baby is here. Balayage worth discussing.

Try an AS.

Thanks for your suggestion. I would try balayage but my natural hair is so dull and if my hair is constantly up it will annoy me as my skin is so pale. I will stretch my appointments every 6 weeks instead of 4 and only strictly get the high lift tint on the roots so it’ll not cause further damage. I’m gonna get a few inches cut off which should take away a lot of the damage. If I would have known that pulling that high lift tint through to the ends would have caused damage to my hair then I wouldn’t have let my hairdresser do it. In hindsight when I wanted to go back blonde in July I should have just bleached it myself as I’m trained in hair but it’s harder to see the back of head so I would’ve needed someone to help which is hard to come by as a lot of people are scared to do others hair in case they eff it up and no amount of reassuring them will convince them.

Oh I’ve realised who this poster is now you’ve e mentioned the dogs. Yeah some help is needed here from midwife or doctor j think.

The wonderful thing about having a baby is that it helps you focus on what's most important in life - caring for someone else and putting them first. It helps focus away from oneself and unimportant things. It builds resilience, stoicism and unselfishness that carries through life. It brings unbelievable joy and exhausting weariness.

I have absolutely no advice because I’m brunette. I’m a mummy to an 8 1/2 month old. I would be devastated if this was me. I still care about my appearance now I’m a mum. I agree self care is so important!

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope you get your hair sorted.

OP, you've had quite a lot of advice here. I'm struck that this is the post you've chosen to respond to.