House Guest

[Vengroupthree]

Morning,

A friend of mine asked if he could stay for 2 weeks due to work commitments in the city I live in.

He has gone into his office twice and the rest of the time has wfh in my flat.

Whilst its been great to see him, I am puzzled at the cooking arrangements!

I've cooked dinner a couple of times and got us a takeaway once, the rest of the time by the time I get home he has cooked for himself using my food and makes nothing for me !

Also makes his own cooked breakfast , but won't offer to make me any, if I was cooking I just would as a matter of course

Aibu or is he trying to be self sufficient maybe ?

He has gone food shopping once and bought things for himself after my stuff ran out

I'd also refuse to clean a single dish he's used. I'd go so far as to put his out of the sink when I needed to wash my own.

Take his washing out of the machine, place in bin bag and hand back. He can use your washing machine perhaps but he should load it at the time, not dump it inside the drum and walk away like you'll do it with yours. Of course, he should ask first.

I'm not sure why you're putting up with this, he should have been challenged at the first 'offence' so he'd understand the ground rules. Tell him to go to a hotel for the rest of the time maybe. Do you ever stay with him? I suppose his mum does everything if so. How can he be so clueless and how can you be so unassertive???

He'd just take the nearest clean one, wouldn't he? OP would be left having to wash everything up just so that she can have a clean dish.

He feels entitled to do that and has been enabled by OP, following on from his parents who failed to teach him any manners.

I cannot imagine why he’s still single and living at home at 44. Fucking hell.

He’s used to being a sponging man baby

probably his parents have got cross with him. How can he need to be in your city, and yet be wfh most of the time?

I’d cut him off. He sounds like a selfish loser, and I wouldn’t be able to see him as a friend in the same way again.

the fact that’s he’s bought the cheapest stuff he can get his hands on speaks volumes.

you’re being used
2 weeks is a major imposition

id tell him to get out today and make alternative arrangements. Either commute from mummy’s or get a hotel - who cares.

this is perfect

Fuck that shit form your update.
he loves at home and mummy does everything. Tell him you are sorry but this isn’t working out as he’s treetifn you as his housemaid and parent and you are not doing his washing. Take his washing out the machine and put it on his bedroom Floor.

seeiously tell him you shouldn’t be subsidising his food and this isn’t working out so he leaves tomorrow. He can drive to work living 2 hours away and only needing to be in twice a week.

seriously tell him to leave as this is costing you money

And cover the utilities?

And clear up your mess?

And take your washing to the laundrette/home?

And buy EXACTLY what you used up?

So.....

What are you going to say to him??

More fool you. You really should have asked him why it's ok to eat food you've cooked and no thought to you. Honestly I wonder about people like you op, complete walkovers.

I did consider adding that she should hide the rest of the dishes, but thought maybe that would be going too far. I'd keep washing just when I needed myself. If she could bear the awkwardness, she could ask him if he'd mind washing his dishes now, as they're in her way. Or casually remark that she's setting his dirty dishes aside so she has room to wash her own, but they'll be right here when he gets around to washing them.

He’s not really a friend is he, just a ligger.

I’d call time and explain you’re not his mum. (I hope he pays his mum for his food)

No good deed goes unpunished.

Frankly I have no idea why you have let him get away with any of this. Don’t piss around with stupid mind games, tell it to him straight. Either he pulls his weight or he gives you some money. Who cares if he gets offended, he can flounce off into the sunset and you will be better off than you are now.

Much like yourself, evidently.

Sorry to ask, but is he British born and bread? First time I hear anything of the sort!

I stayed with a rather disorganised friend in Edinburgh during the Edinburgh Festival for three nights. She fed me (a microwave meal) the evening I arrived and I had a bowl of cereal each morning. Second evening I brought back a takeaway, ice cream and a couple of bottles of wine. The final night I bought us both dinner and tickets for a show. I also bought a big pack of loo paper, washing up liquid, light bulbs and bin bags (she'd run out of all of them), emptied the bins and left a litre of gin and a couple more bottles of wine in the kitchen before I left. I was pissed off to discover that she'd told someone else I was tight-fisted: turned out she hadn't noticed any of the things I'd left. Has your guest possibly done something similar?

If not I'd be having a conversation along the lines of:
'Mate, when you asked to stay for work I assumed that you'd be out at work all day and that you'd pay your way on the food front at the very least. The set-up we've had for the past week doesn't work for me. I'm not your mum. I need you out of the house from 9-5 during the day and I need you to share the cooking and cleaning with me equally. And I also need £60 towards all the food you've eaten so far and another £60 if you end up staying a second week. Otherwise you'll have to find yourself a hotel.'

Ask him whether he's got a problem with his arms that he hasn't washed up his stuff yet.

Don't do any more shopping, start using what he buys.

I doubt that he's bread, somehow.

I hope you did more than laugh, and that you sent him straight out again to get some proper replacements for everything he's taken.

I wouldn’t tolerate this.
Your plans have changed for whatever reason & he has to go. What a selfish, inconsiderate parasite… No good deed goes unpunished 😐

He needs to replace your groceries.

I'd tell him that it's not working out, and to only stay for a week. Cheeky sod.

Thanks everyone

He has been out and bought a big shop and a few gifts for me to say thank you

Not sure if he would have if I hadn't had a word earlier, but there you go

And I have suggested as he is wfh all day he can make dinner a couple of nights this week coming