To be annoyed my DM was refused access with pram?

[EmeraldA129]

We have a local cafe we go to fairly regularly. Normally myself, my DM & DD who is 4 months & in a pram. We almost always have lunch, juice, coffee & often cake too.

Sometimes my DM comes to look after DD for a few hours & will almost certainly go to the same cafe, sometimes for a full lunch though sometimes just a cake & coffee.

I’ve given them 5* reviews for being so welcoming & friendly. We like the team, we like the food & there are a number of tables that can have a pram sitting next to them without causing hassle to the cafe or other customers.

on Sunday my DM went with my DD & although there were tables available the man that works there (we think owner/ manager) said ‘no, sorry, it’s fine to come in with that when it’s quiet, not when we are busy’. My DM asked if he was being serious, he said yes & showed the person behind her to a table that was free. Other people were leaving & trying to offer their table to my DM, but the man said no, it wasn’t suitable.

we’ve had lunch there many times before DD was born, but have been in at least 10 times since she was born. Previously I’ve always felt like a valued customer but now it feels like they’ve been willing to let us give them custom when they need the extra takings.

My DM won’t be going back & I really don’t want to either. Also want to leave them a new 1* review to balance out my previously glowing one.

This happened 5 days ago so it is clearly really bothering me that I’m posting about it now.

AIBU to be annoyed?

Wheelchairs and buggies are not the same so it's an irrelevance.

Incomparable to a pram. Really

Of course they need the extra takings it’s a for profit business with staff
i am a parent too,but when I’m out for during work we won’t bother squeezing past prams etc we would go elsewhere and a cafe losses takings because a pram is taking up space

I think a lot of this depends on the delivery. And whether there really was enough room without blocking anyone else. Sometimes there's a legitimate reason to deny access for the pram, other times it's a manager/owner being an arse.

Tbh I wouldn't agree to leave a pram outside. It would likely get stolen.

Cafe owners need to weight up what they gain or lose, in situations like these. Yes they might be busy on a Saturday but it's the regular people who fill tables on a weekday who also keep a business going. He's likely lost the OP's regular custom.
I'd add a note to my previous review just saying what happened and that the cafe wasn't busy (if that's the case) and that you aren't inclined to support a business that makes you feel unwelcome.

This is so nice! That kind of welcome must really make the difference to lonely or struggling new parents. We were in Spain recently and our pram was accommodated absolutely everywhere; it was a complete given that our baby was welcome everywhere and that staff would ensure a way for us to fit. It was so refreshing. Spain was so child-friendly in general and it made me realise how often in the UK I worry about keeping out of peoples' way with my baby and ensuring she makes no noise. Anyway, I digress... I'd be really miffed in your shoes OP. Of course, an establishment can't help it if they genuinely can't fit a pram in safely but in these cases I'd certainly hope someone would offer to help fold down the pram or point out somewhere safe to leave it or at least apologise when declining entry...

Writing a mean online review because you’re in a huff is churlish. It’s a good cafe you like the food,they simply declined you on a busy occasion. That doesn’t warrant a bad review

And another one who thinks disability is comparable. What is wrong with some people?

no I would be pissed at this. I think of a cafe I use regularly and if they refused me in the same circumstances and with what sounds like a shitty attitude, I wouldn’t be going back and giving them any further of my custom. And wouldn’t think twice about giving them a shitty review either, you’re only being honest.

Sling in the bottom of the pram or in your bag? I didn't use a pram but I couldn't imagine going out without a sling or wrap as backup for if you needed to fold or leave the pram outside a loo, I guess some people must do. I understand the OPs mother is elderly and relies on a pram in this situation though.

Fuck that. I’m assuming baby sits in the pram when you’re eating etc as she’s too young for a highchair really? I wouldn’t go again to be honest and be explaining why to them. Glad they’re in a position they can turn down business.

@NotQuiteNorma why shouldn’t mums go for a coffee? Why shouldn’t babies be allowed to be in public spaces? They have as much right to be there as anyone else. Meeting some other mums for a coffee saved my sanity when I’d been up all night with a newborn. Sorry it’s all such an inconvenience to you

As mentioned earlier. Not all babies like slings. Not all adults like slings. They don’t work for everyone. Not everyone can manage collapsing a large pram with a wriggling baby in a sling. Its just one of those weird mumsnet quirks though that someone always has to pop on threads like this and insist slings are essential and how could anyone not carry a sling though. Does the cafe even have somewhere the folded down large pram can go or is that in the way too?

They probably can't turn down business, that's the problem. Granny and baby would be taking up a lot of space and the pram getting in everyone's way. If they turn them down then at the weekend they're likely to fill the table with 2-4 paying customers. Not to mention have more room to work when they're run off their feet.

During the week that opportunity cost isn't present and so they're welcomed. I can understand it, especially with margins as they are.

I would leave the 1* review. If people were getting up to leave and offering the table (because there was space!) then I can only imagine they just didn't want to lose money.

Typical Mumsnet as well - come on for some advice about the pitfalls of being a new mum (I've got a one year old and have felt really unwelcome in busy places too, despite there being room), and get a load of snarky responses about babies and prams being too big.

All new mums (and elderly grandmas) beware - don't bother going out to eat or drink at the weekends! There's no space for you and your baby is a nuisance.

By all means go out,spend your money support businesses but be realistic not all cafes are accessible to you at all times. You’re not entitled to a space with a pram on basis of you’ve been a customer before
Your 78 yo mum will remember the old days when prams were not allowed in shops,cafes at all. Had to be kept outside on the kerb

dont write an otherwise good cafe a bad review it’s mean spirited and churlish. You kike the place, like the food gave it 5⭐️ Now on basis of being declined on a busy day you’re going to post a mean review. Sheesh

I will have to check out what lie flat umberella buggies are, I had no idea there were alternatives suitable for a baby so young! 👍

Can’t see the issue with writing a review describing the experience, it’s exactly the kind of thing people will want to know before bothering going somewhere with a child in a pram.

@ColleenDonaghy people were getting up to leave and offering Granny and baby their table so there obviously was some free space? The way the OP has said the cafe was laid out doesn’t seem like they were massively pushed for space and surely one person and a baby are kind of ‘in and out’ they don’t linger for ages so I don’t really get it. Especially as he didn’t even ask if the pram could fold. I take my DD for coffee a couple of times a week and often we are asked to fold down prams but never refused service.

the anti baby rhetoric is so annoying-the general public are so intolerant as a rule. I was having lunch with some friends and our babies and they weren’t making a sound, a couple comes in and the woman made it VERY obvious how awful it was she was sat next to babies. Was really uncomfortable.

You said you have a Noordi? Is it this? That’s a hefty buggy in a busy cafe

Previously they rated 5⭐️and were effusive now on basis of being declined on a busy day it’s a 1⭐️. I don’t expect everywhere to be accessible to me with a buggy and if a busy cafe declined me, well fair enough. I don’t expect entry to all cafes at busy times. Sometimes you simply have to make other plans or go elsewhere

I do understand that some places are too cramped or laid out in a way it would be hard to fit a pram in. We haven’t been to my favourite noodle bar because, quite simply, I can’t figure out how we could get in. This cafe though has lots of space.

A cafe during the week is very different to a cafe at the weekend. Most cafes round here have queues out the door for a table on a weekend whereas you would walk right in during the week

So I totally get the manager’s view. He could have maybe said it in a bit more of a polite way if he really said it as you described but I get that space will be at a premium if it’s busy

The person I was responding to was suggesting there would be nowhere to put a four month old. If someone chooses not to use another option then they may not be able to use spaces where a pram is too big. I was answering the question in the post.

Sorry, I didn’t think to say I’m an aged mum & my dm is even more so when I posted! She seems a perfectly reasonable age to be a gran to me, but if I post again I will remember that not all grans are as elderly as they are in our family 😂

The French owner of our local cafe makes room for everyone and in turn everyone is polite and makes way for everyone else. There are children, prams, and the occasional dog, but we all know to be polite.

Our library is literally full to bursting with prams every day that bookbug is on!