To be annoyed my DM was refused access with pram?

[EmeraldA129]

We have a local cafe we go to fairly regularly. Normally myself, my DM & DD who is 4 months & in a pram. We almost always have lunch, juice, coffee & often cake too.

Sometimes my DM comes to look after DD for a few hours & will almost certainly go to the same cafe, sometimes for a full lunch though sometimes just a cake & coffee.

I’ve given them 5* reviews for being so welcoming & friendly. We like the team, we like the food & there are a number of tables that can have a pram sitting next to them without causing hassle to the cafe or other customers.

on Sunday my DM went with my DD & although there were tables available the man that works there (we think owner/ manager) said ‘no, sorry, it’s fine to come in with that when it’s quiet, not when we are busy’. My DM asked if he was being serious, he said yes & showed the person behind her to a table that was free. Other people were leaving & trying to offer their table to my DM, but the man said no, it wasn’t suitable.

we’ve had lunch there many times before DD was born, but have been in at least 10 times since she was born. Previously I’ve always felt like a valued customer but now it feels like they’ve been willing to let us give them custom when they need the extra takings.

My DM won’t be going back & I really don’t want to either. Also want to leave them a new 1* review to balance out my previously glowing one.

This happened 5 days ago so it is clearly really bothering me that I’m posting about it now.

AIBU to be annoyed?

Haven't rtft. We have a favourite local cafe that's tiny and cramped, it's a converted small house as is common around here. We never brought a pram when ours were little, we used a carrier or drove. The only time we brought the pram in was during covid when there was loads of room as they'd removed half the tables because of distancing.

I must admit I get a bit frustrated when we're there on a busy Saturday or Sunday and someone has a big pram of the type I usually favour. They take up so much room and make life difficult for both customers and staff.

If people are out for a walk, there are other roomier options in the town. I wouldn't blame the staff (who are wonderful with DC) at all if they banned them.

It should have probably been in the OP, I was thinking 45-65 sort of age.

Most shops around here and small and warren like with small entryways you often need to duck to enter, many steps and uneven floors. Like outside which is hilly and cobbled. Prams aren’t popular for all of those reasons but families that do use them, leave them outside. For shops like butchers etc they usually leave the baby outside too, for coffee shops etc they take the baby in with them, but sometimes the baby stays outside if they are sleeping and they can see them, although I didn’t do this many did.

It would be absolutely expected to take the baby in but not the pram here. Just like at the library, the nursery, the leisure centre, the school and the childrens centre and all the other places you go with babies that do not allow prams.

Do the 1 star review and remove your good one. Go elsewhere in future. Where is it so I can avoid?

I’ve just had my first baby and the local cafe I go to move tables and chairs to fit me and my pram in. The other day the owner even offered to wheel the pram through all the tables on my way out as it was crowded. I was really impressed with them as it’s not the biggest cafe either. I don’t expect to necessarily be accommodated like this but if it was too busy etc. I’d expect to fold my pram down but not refused entry.

It’s not difficult to assume a grandma is not going to be confident with a sling though, and OP said she was 38 a few posts in so her mum was never going to be 45. Also very easy to realise that she might not be randomly carrying a sling with her.

I can see why they may not accommodate full size prams when the shop is very busy - space will be at a premium and the pram will be an obstacle for customers moving round and waiting staff squeezing past with hot drinks etc. or even worse customers fetching their own from a counter - what happens when someone slops a drink into a pram? Nightmare.

It is unreasonable to expect them to make an exception for your pram because you and your DM are “regulars” as your original post seems to be suggesting. No doubt another pram pusher would feel aggrieved if they were turned away due to space then a regular rocked up with their pram and were ushered to a seat!
Sometimes it is just a pragmatic business decision - call them and ask what the policy is regarding prams and suggest they put a notice on the door to avoid offence.

Cafes are nearly alway poky. Sometimes prams with multiple bags, rain covers etc. hanging off them can take up more space than an occupied table for two. Realistically most cafes are not going to be able to accommodate this unless its really quiet.

Some cafes just arent big enough for a massive pram when they are busy. I had a monster double and didn't use small cafes where i would be in everyone's way.

I do love massive prams but accept they arent suitable for everywhere.

Put a review up as you please.

I would check with the place again, as it could be onr difficult employee.

Folding isn't necessarily the answer either - our cafe wouldn't have room for anything other than a small umbrella stroller. A big travel system doesn't really take up much less room when folded, especially if it's set up with the carry cot.

Even if banning the baby was illegal (which I can't imagine it is), the baby wasn't banned, the pram was.

There's always one.

Seems a bizarre way to treat a customer when maternity-leave mums are the backbone of cafe custom on quiet weekdays.

I understand on busy days an unfolded pram could be a hazard but I would have thought they would try and explain/come up with a solution.

Perhaps as it was obviously the grandmother they thought it was a one off and she wouldn't be a repeat customer? Shoddy customer service still.

My local cafes have joined a breastfeeding friendly scheme to drum up more maternity-leave custom so it's not like you are in the wrong frequenting cafes with a baby.

I guess I would see it as a baby essential, different circles maybe.

That's what you got from the situation that the OP was describing? A baby in a buggy/pram is in no way comparable to a disabled person who would require a mobility device to simply get around.
Back in your box woman...sheeeesh.

I’d probably change my review but rather than remove the entirety of the old one (don’t know where the review was posted but you can’t always do 2 different ones) I’d just add a note at the beginning to say ‘don’t go here on weekends with a pram as you will be refused service, like my mum was on Sunday around X o’clock, which is a shame as we like it there but have been put off returning’ and I’d put something similar on Facebook too. It’s factual after all, whatever their justification is or was, and they can comment if they so wish.

It’s business, unfortunately. One person taking up a whole table probably for a coffee and muffin, needing pram space, possibly with a baby that may wake up grizzling (from the owner’s perspective) - it’s not profitable on their targeted busiest days. The problem is he’s now lost a weekday customer. It’s a tricky balance for small hospitality businesses.

If I saw a review saying you were denied access with a pram, it wouldn’t put me off. If I’m absolutely honest, I would rather not go to one that was rammed with prams and babies on busy weekends. But - it would be helpful to other mums with babies to know.

She wasn't turned away, though - she was just told she couldn't bring the pram in with her while it was busy, which is absolutely fair enough. There's no inherent right to bring a pram or buggy or stroller into a cafe with you, after all.

I can see why it's a bit annoying but it's hardly worth complaining over IMO.

Having worked in a restaurant and been a customer trying to navigate prams everywhere, it’s a pain in the arse for both staff and customers.

I can see their point tbh

I would speak to the manager or send them an email in the first instance. Failing that, leave a 1* review.

I find folded up prams to be more of a tripping hazard than fully constructed ones. My DC's pram doesn't fold up, it comes apart into two pieces and takes up more room than if it were just in its glory.

Where do you put a 4 mo if you are folding the pram down? What a stupid suggestion.

I would leave the shitty review tbh.

YABU, prams are big and if it was bulky it’s at their discretion to decline.Youre not entitled to entry at a busier time because you’ve got a pram. They are a for profit business they need to maximise tables and cover numbers. By all means take pram in when it’s quiet, busy..no

You’re misguided, this isn’t discriminatory and it’s not covered under legislation
Decline a wheelchair, yes that’s DDA and legislation exists to protect this category
Pram cannot be accommodated at busy time. Nope that’s not discrimination

i wonder what they’d think about a wheelchair that would take even more room

Not remotely comparable.