To be annoyed my DM was refused access with pram?

[EmeraldA129]

We have a local cafe we go to fairly regularly. Normally myself, my DM & DD who is 4 months & in a pram. We almost always have lunch, juice, coffee & often cake too.

Sometimes my DM comes to look after DD for a few hours & will almost certainly go to the same cafe, sometimes for a full lunch though sometimes just a cake & coffee.

I’ve given them 5* reviews for being so welcoming & friendly. We like the team, we like the food & there are a number of tables that can have a pram sitting next to them without causing hassle to the cafe or other customers.

on Sunday my DM went with my DD & although there were tables available the man that works there (we think owner/ manager) said ‘no, sorry, it’s fine to come in with that when it’s quiet, not when we are busy’. My DM asked if he was being serious, he said yes & showed the person behind her to a table that was free. Other people were leaving & trying to offer their table to my DM, but the man said no, it wasn’t suitable.

we’ve had lunch there many times before DD was born, but have been in at least 10 times since she was born. Previously I’ve always felt like a valued customer but now it feels like they’ve been willing to let us give them custom when they need the extra takings.

My DM won’t be going back & I really don’t want to either. Also want to leave them a new 1* review to balance out my previously glowing one.

This happened 5 days ago so it is clearly really bothering me that I’m posting about it now.

AIBU to be annoyed?

I really don’t. There are a variety of views on the thread & I value hearing everyone’s opinions. I am only responding to you as you seem to be deliberately twisting anything I’ve said. Clearly you think I’m being unreasonable, thank you for your view. Please though, do stop now.

Nothing wrong with providing additional information re accessibility. I still think deleting the previous 5 star review and replacing it with a 1 star review sounds spiteful.

Ok,do you get the premise?You post,I post,we all post. You don’t have to care for my posts, conversely I don’t have to refrain from posting
Are you planning on asking others who disagree with you to refrain from posting or just me?

I wouldn’t bother deleting previous reviews, but i would def leave another review and what other star would you rate it given the experience? It’s not an accessibility issue, there were free tables.

If it’s Google reviews you can easily edit to add a short update and amend your previous rating without deleting your entire review.

eg. Update: the coffee is still lovely but I’ve revised my previous rating to reflect the fact that since then X and Y happened to so I won’t be going back there and I wasn’t happy about the whole incident. Just something to be aware of if you’re planning to pop in with a pram.

There is absolutely wrong with amending a review to either give it a higher or lower rating. It’s possible a manager might see it and reassure you the staff member made an error and that you and pram are welcome back.

And if not, that’s fine too, OP should spend her money somewhere else that accommodates her better but at least other people are aware.

I guess without seeing the cafe nobody knows but in the majority of cafes there is very little space for prams and not really anywhere to store a folded pram. They can be quite a nuisance to try and get around. 4 month old would be fine in an umbrella fold buggy without full lie back, the recommendation is usually from 4 months, just put a cosy liner in. They may not allow those either though

Writing a true account of an experience of a business, even if it’s negative, is not ‘malicious’. It’s factual.

@EmeraldA129 you are being totally reasonable in your annoyance with this. You have supported and rated this café.

Ive got 3 kids all grown now but all of whom I took in varying combinations to cafes and when they were little - in a relatively hefty lie flat buggy.

Not once was I ever refused entry though I, like you, was considerate about tucking it out of the way when possible. I was never one for slings much I liked to enjoy a coffee and read a book whilst my baby slept etc.

This café can’t have it both ways. Enjoy the revenue and support of mums and babies (they DO form a considerable market as off work, around during day, after school drop offs etc). But then tell them to piss off when there is actual room but they can’t be bothered.

please DO update your review - factually and to alert others that this cafe is only family friendly when it suits them etc. It’s really not ok and posters saying it is are just being MN contrary in my view.

So if they say ‘no prams’ and the child is disabled, therefore the buggy is treated as a wheelchair, then the parents just say that.

The cafe then treats them as they would a wheelchair- if they can safely fit them in they do, if they can’t they don’t.

This happens all the time.

Also, if the child doesn’t appear to be disabled then they will look at it and presume that it will be bought drinks and cakes and therefore treat it as a paying customer.

Cafes don’t quiz each person on how much they plan to spend, in situations like this they either follow a direct policy (no prams at the weekend) or they make a snap decision about what they think will maximise profit. It isn’t personal- they are a business wanting to make money- people’s feelings don’t come into it.

There are 13 pages of comments with varying views. I have take umbrage only to you. feel free to continue with your misconceptions & derogatory remarks but I will refrain from any further response to you.

Yeah, I wasn’t going to delete the first one so the effectively cancel each other out ratings wise but do provide useful info.

indeed, you are at liberty to ignore or disregard my posts. This has no bearing upon me I will continue to post. Thats literally how threads work.
you post, I post, we post

No one should have to explain they are disabled so they can be let into a cafe.

Lots of places have a no pram or fold all prams or no prams at the weekend policy which they will apply to all prams. If your pram is functioning as a wheelchair you need to make it clear that you require an exemption from that policy. You do that either by buying one of the widely available badges which say ‘TREAT THIS BUGGY AS A WHEELCHAIR’, or by saying ‘you can’t apply apply that policy to this buggy, it is being used as a wheelchair’.

No one requires a blow by blow explanation of your condition, but they do need to be made aware that it isn’t just your sense of entitlement that means you believe the policy doesn’t apply to you.

How else are places supposed to know?! Why do you think support dogs wear harnesses declaring what they are? So that when they walk past ‘no dogs on the beach/in the doctor/in the pub’ signs people realise that the policy doesn’t apply to them.

Everywhere I go people are aware Im disabled, they are aware my son is disabled…. It isn’t some sort of secret people need to hide.

please DO update your review - factually and to alert others that this cafe is only family friendly when it suits them etc. It’s really not ok and posters saying it is are just being MN contrary in my view.

Indeed, no-one can reasonably take any issue with OP updating the review to reflect how she feels now. Noneof the cafes in this area of Glasgow OP has said its in, have any mention on their website or their windows that prams are only allowed in at certain times.

They should be upfront and consistent about it to avoid people making a wasted journey or feeling embarrassed. Yes, there are other coffee shops nearby but sometimes you might have wanted something specific from a particular coffee shop.

I’ve mentioned upthread the double standards the cafe is applying with regards to not seeing dogs as a trip hazard so I won’t labour the point . However, I will add if that’s their policy of allowing dogs but not prams to take up space fine, but again the restrictions on pram being allowed should be displayed clearly so people are aware. Because it’s understandable for parents to assume that a place that allows huge dogs to be stretched out on the floor allows prams in too.

By OP updating her review she is just doing what they should have done - highlighting the cafe policy on prams. If this really is their policy maybe this will be their cue to get it on the website or at least put a small notice in the door window.

I think I’ve figured out what cafe it is actually @EmeraldA129 good luck with updating the review and finding cafes you feel more welcome in.

Just this

Since other families leaving offered their table to the grandma… it sounds like there WAS room!
Also while the cafe isn’t obliged to except the family, they are also not obliged to ever use the cafe again and are fully entitled to leave a poor review… which after all is the point of this post!!

As I’ve said, we weren’t there to know what space was available (people are really bad judges of space in general- I’m always being told I can/can’t fit my chair into spaces when I know differently).

And also as I said before, the op can go to or not go to any cafe for any reason, and leave a review that reflects her opinion whatever that is.

The manager could’ve opted to do a number of different things to be more customer friendly.
Sign outside
Offered table service if she could take baby out of buggy
Said sorry can’t accommodate now as it’s lunch rush but please feel free to come back at x time.

The customer could have also chosen other options to understand the situation of the retailer
Could have accepted their account that, yes, the café was busy and left
Could’ve have thought on bounce, I’ve had previous good experiences and this occasion they’re busy and the owners tell me the café is too busy. Accepted the answer and looked for another establishment.
it says in the OP that the grandmother was advised that the cafe was too busy and come back when it was quieter, so that option was actually offered

Typing on phone, on bounce = on balance

It didn’t sound like a pleasant interaction. He did not say eg come back in a an hour or so or whatever. He said you cant come in with ‘that’. I’m with the op.
Yes op has a choice. But he runs a business for customers. Their experience matters.

Thank you for all of your feedback & comments, it’s been interesting hearing everyone’s views & other than one poster I have really appreciated your feedback.

I’ve also found out about umbrella prand that are suitable for young babies so have been looking lots at these too!

I don’t think I was being unreasonable & 3/4 of folk agreed with me, so I will be writing an updated review making it clear that I won’t be going to the cafe as they don’t want babies in, but that I will miss the great food I have previously enjoyed. I think it’s important that since I have writren about how family friendly they are that I update this so that other people aren’t left feeling like my DM did.

As many folk have said, this is factual info & if the cafe don’t want people with prams to come then it will have no negative impact on them whatsoever.

this was my first post… next time I will select the vote to run for 24 hours.

There were empty tables and other customers were trying to help.

Offering her to come back later was no good as she wanted to be there at that point. If I had this experience I wouldn’t risk going back there again at any time in case I was turned away.

If there were no empty tables, absolutely fine. But in this situation I would just consider my custom to not to be good enough so I would certainly leave a bad review.

Good on you OP! I’d be interested to hear if they respond to your feedback!