To be annoyed my DM was refused access with pram?

[EmeraldA129]

We have a local cafe we go to fairly regularly. Normally myself, my DM & DD who is 4 months & in a pram. We almost always have lunch, juice, coffee & often cake too.

Sometimes my DM comes to look after DD for a few hours & will almost certainly go to the same cafe, sometimes for a full lunch though sometimes just a cake & coffee.

I’ve given them 5* reviews for being so welcoming & friendly. We like the team, we like the food & there are a number of tables that can have a pram sitting next to them without causing hassle to the cafe or other customers.

on Sunday my DM went with my DD & although there were tables available the man that works there (we think owner/ manager) said ‘no, sorry, it’s fine to come in with that when it’s quiet, not when we are busy’. My DM asked if he was being serious, he said yes & showed the person behind her to a table that was free. Other people were leaving & trying to offer their table to my DM, but the man said no, it wasn’t suitable.

we’ve had lunch there many times before DD was born, but have been in at least 10 times since she was born. Previously I’ve always felt like a valued customer but now it feels like they’ve been willing to let us give them custom when they need the extra takings.

My DM won’t be going back & I really don’t want to either. Also want to leave them a new 1* review to balance out my previously glowing one.

This happened 5 days ago so it is clearly really bothering me that I’m posting about it now.

AIBU to be annoyed?

FFS.

@EmeraldA129im from Glasgow too, out of interest is the cafe dog friendly and on the South side ?

Prams will always outnumber wheelchair user's. It's the same on busses. I had to have my son in a wheelchair for his own safety for a while. He was running accross roads to close gates and fiddle with some petrol cap's. My DD had to use a wheelchair a few months ago due to an injury. Nobody ever denied us access anywhere.

Because of the reasoning used to refuse service is they take up to much space and people go on about blocking fire escapes and dropping hot drinks being unable to negotiate around them that would surely count for a wheelchair too right? Except a wheelchair user will be a paying customer unlike a four month old so im guessing those "problems" dissappear

This has already been covered multiple times on this thread tonight.

I’d write the review. They can choose not to allow prams at busy times, but customers can choose not to risk turning up with a pram and being turned away too.

I’d actually be really grateful to read a review like that… It would stop me going with my toddler and baby (and risking a hangry tantrum if we were denied entry).

But my DM did look & there was space, then other customers were leaving & highlighting even more space… so more than has been available on previous occasions. And whilst Dm was being turned away a single person was given a table that could accommodate her & Dd, so they didn’t even gain any extra revenue. That’s why it’s bothering me, because it seems unclear as to why my DM has been treated as a problem as opposed to a valued customer.

Sadly OP, MN can be very intolerant of mums, which is weird as it's a parenting site. I hope you and your DM find a better place to have your coffee and lunch.

Wow, well, I guess it only took so long before someone would question my DMs personal character. Tbh she is mainly drawn by their croque monsieur, strawberry tart & coffee, but loves the friendly chat from the team & always tips. I’m not sure what your implying that she actually could have done wrong between opening the door & being turned away.

It is! It is one of three on Skirving Street. Have you experienced similar?

I'm in Glasgow too, near an area with loads of cafes and coffee shops. Parents learn where will accommodate prams or buggies (changing facilities become more important than the quality of the coffee). My granddaughter is younger than your DD and folding her pram wouldn't really save much space and, of course, they're too small for a high chair and difficult to eat around/over. Like your DM, I would be upset to be turned away from a cafe that had welcomed me before.

I would leave 1 review , would say your mum to leave 1 review and your whole family ! That’s outrageous!

This happened to me when DC1 was less than six months old. I went to a restaurant and the person who was seating customers told me I couldn't go in with a pram. It was a bugaboo and DC1 was in the carrycot part lying down. I don't think it was a particularly big buggy but there was no way I'd have been able to fold it down because it had to be taken apart to told and anyway I just wouldn't have managed the baby, the changing bag and my handbag. I wouldn't have had free hands to take out my wallet.
DC2 is nearing the end of primary school now so that was a long time ago and I still remember being embarrassed. It wasn't just being told I couldn't take the pram inside, it was the way the restaurant employee flicked me away and looked past me. It could have been handled in a much nicer way without humiliating me. I never returned to that restaurant.
I'd leave a further review OP so other people don't end up feeling like your DM did. I'm sure they wouldn't be so quick to look past her at 11am on a wet cold Monday morning when they appreciate the business!

ETA It will happen on buses too. I stopped using public transport as grew so tired of seeing buses stop and refuse to let me on with a buggy as there was already a buggy or two on board. I just gave up and used my car instead.

I voted YANBU as I have a bulky beast of a pram and like to sit in cafes, but a lot of people have mentioned quite reasonably about it being a H&S issue, especially when staff are carrying hot drinks. The cafe owner was rightly being cautious and I would now accept that I might be turned away if a cafe is busy.

Had I been refused entry for my pram, I would have ordered still and I would have left the pram outside and brought the baby in with a blanket.
Alternatively, your DM could have ordered and paid for Take- Away and taken the coffee to the nearest park.
Sometimes there is not room for a pram.
Make other arrangements and try again another day, if it is your favourite cafe.

There is nothing to be lost by mentioning the experience to the usual manager. You might be happy with the response.

This. Don't be a dick. Do you have any idea how hard some businesses are doing right now?

All these people saying to collapse the pram, or leave it outside. How on earth does that work? Do you ask someone to hold the baby? Do you drink your coffee with a baby on your lap? Then as you leave ask someone to hold the baby again to open the pram? Have never used a sling in my life. 4 kids. I would have just turned around and walked out, found somewhere more suitable, as I assume your mum did OP. Silly of them to treat a regular customer badly though ( maybe they didn't recognise her?)

I don't understand why so many people have huge prams, it's like people with huge SUVs, just why. I used a travel pram, it was perfect so small and compact, made everything a breeze

Theres always one. Having a child or being dumb isn't a disability

If it's dog friendly it must be a spacious cafe. Would they have turned your mum away if she had a doggy stroller or if she was walking an Alsatian? Probably not knowing today's society.

YANBU

Yes leave them a negative review.

I’m on mat leave right now and if I can’t go to a fucking cafe then where can I go. Just stay at home shall I!

And anyone saying ‘oh they need the business’, the two types of people i see at my local cafe during the week are retired peope and mums. We are their business.

It is up to the business if they want prams or not, not customers

Absolutely all of this.

Not getting all these sling suggestions either. If anyone here can comfortably sit down and eat with a baby attached to them in a sling then well done.

No, and nor does Transport for London (for example) or the Equality Act.