To really not understand baby led weaning?

[Leavetowean]

I’ve been trying it with my baby (with some trepidation) but I really can’t understand at all how they are meant to not choke.

She just gagged and vomited on some food because she obviously took it straight to the back of her throat as she hasn’t got any teeth to chew it.

I feel like it’s a massive step back for us. I’m really not enjoying the weaning journey one bit, I find it so stressful (and no she isn’t picking up on my stress) but AIBU to think the whole let them eat what you eat just doesn’t work for some babies? What am I missing?

I did BLW with DS and liked it - but I read the whole of Gill Rapley's books about it (explains the rationale, evidence, how to cut up the food, etc.) and that really helped us feel confident about what we were doing. The key things for us were never putting anything in the baby's mouth ourselves, and making sure he wasn't hungry when starting out (ie already had mlk feed before solid food offered, so not frustrated). Would definitely recommend the book if finding it confusing/frustrating.

IMO - Try not to worry about her actually eating. She will be getting most of her nutrition from milk still. Just remember she is a baby and it is all new - the sensations in her mouth of taste and texture, using her gums to mush the food, using her tongue to manipulate the food to the back of the throat and then coordinating swallowing. It’s a lot so it’s no wonder not much actually goes in her tummy.

We eat primarily for the purpose of eating but babies at this age eat to learn how to eat. It’s the sensory experience rather than the full tummy which is important.

Just keep giving her the opportunity with different foods and she will get there.

Also, part of my problem with purees is that she just wants to grab the puree end of the spoon and then spread it everywhere. I give her a clean spoon in each hand (thanks insta) and she happily bangs them on the tray whilst admitting puree into her mouth from my spoon.

With finger food, I think she was looking at my 'concerned you're going to choke/hypervigilance' face and finding it off-putting. And that's OK. It's OK I find it nerve-wracking. We do a bit of both finger foods and purees depending on what's on the menu. I am trying to relax a bit. So less baby-led and more muddle-through together

Most people I know did BLW. I tried and it was not a success at all and I soon stopped. I wasn't worried about choking - it never got to that because my daughter spat out everything that had even the slightest bit of texture to it. By her 10 month review she was still just having milk and yogurt. The HV suggested I stop breastfeeding to encourage her to eat more solids. I obviously ignored that advice. She is now 15 months, goes to nursery and seems to eat fine (lunchbox is usually empty when she comes home, weight is fine).

This is one of the craziest trends I’ve ever seen! First time mum here, baby is 8 1/2 months old, I started on homemade purees. All the BLW videos I’ve seen parents end up mushing it and then feeding their babies anyway. Plus what about all the salts and other ingredients in
food we eat! Crazy! I wanted to teach LO how to use a spoon and feed himself first so we could all sit and enjoy tea. To me that was more important than BLW something he wouldn’t even be able to do which would just cause him frustration. BLW is stupid in my opinion.

@LetsGoOutside feeding babies normal family food is how babies have been weaned since the dawn of time. No one in the dark ages was pureeing fruit and veg for their baby. Purees are the fad. Also no idea where you’re getting that people are just mushing up food anyway, and not everyone eats salt laden ready meals some of us just cook normal food

I did BLW but ignored all online pics including solid starts about how to serve the food as it was terrifying, baby sucking in whole fingers of stuff.. I just cut everything up really small and gradually give them bigger and bigger pieces :-)

Each to their own but worked fine for me..

Interesting as I would have fed to their mouth at the beginning and also fed when hungry so they were more interested in eating, we all gave our ways!

Just wondering how many meals you’re trying? You said about fitting it into the day, so that makes me think you’re trying two or three. I did have a look through your posts but couldn’t see if you’d mentioned it. When I started weaning my little boy, he only had one ‘meal’ a day for maybe the first 6 weeks. Then up to two for another few weeks. When they’re mainly relying on milk and having what feels like a million feeds in the day, it’s so tough to fit solid meals in again. If you are doing more than one, maybe try to strip it right back for a few weeks. Toast tomorrow then maybe some steamed broccoli or apple the next day. Even if she takes one bit into her mouth she’s learning. Three weeks in is very early days, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I went with BLW because it suited my little boy but I was fully prepared to go with purées if it hadn’t.

The baby led weaned children stick out like a sore thumb in the lunch hall at school. Their faces are absolutely covered in food most days and their use of cutlery is shocking. It’s a fad that I hope runs it’s course VERY quickly!!!

Quite OP! I hate it when my DH presses on with the BLW and tell him please don’t make DC have negative associations with meal times. DC loves purées though - most of the time anyway! This is more important to me at this age - that it’s enjoyable and they’re eating more and more in terms of variety and volume of food. Of course there are always low appetite days too! Do what feels right for you.

Do what works for you. I think it's stressful when you try to make something work that doesn't. No one way works for everyone. I did a mix. Not purees really just mashed up what I was eating and stuff she could do on her own. However you do it is the right way!

How ridiculous! How would you even know how they were weaned??
My kids all weaned like this and never smeared food everywhere by 4yrs old and were taught to use cutlery as toddlers!
Crap table manners are nothing to do with BLW!

My DS didn’t really take to finger foods until 8 months. Before that we mainly stuck with purées and then at 8 months it just seemed to be much easier.

Solid starts app for how finger foods should be cut and sized for different ages.

@LetsGoOutside you're a first time Mum to a 8 1/2 month old. So you've been weaning for, what, 10 weeks. Do you not think that the proponents of BLW (which includes the NHS - no spoon feeding on this page) might have more knowledge than you? As I said above purees were fed to children by our mothers because the advice was to wean so early in the 70s and 80s. All BLW does is miss out the puree stage because now we wean at 6 months. All children have to learn to eat solids and feed themselves at some point, you're just delaying that if you spoon feed purees to a 6+ month old child who is developmentally ready to pick up food and put it in their mouth all by themselves.

@Seashor oh be quiet 🤣 what a silly thing to say.

I did purees but advice changes all the time, this was 15 years ago. I also weaned at 4 months.

BLW is everywhere these days so you feel like it’s the right way to do it but the old fashioned way worked best for us! It’s also way less messy.

Pretty sure my grandparents didn’t feed my parents jars of baby food. Unless a parent specifically gave them purées or jars of baby food, they fed babies bits of the food they were having.

The advice to wean at 6 months came in in 2003 so it's been in place for over 20 years, that's hardly 'changing all the time'.

Gill Rapley's book had just come out though so you're right that BLW was fairly new, I only learnt about it the year before because our local breastfeeding coordinator suggested it and I spent a lot of time on babyledweaning.com. As soon as I read about it I knew I wanted to do it with her, it made so much sense to me to let her control what she ate. DD1 took to it like a duck to water so influenced a few people I know to try it, but I think it doesn't suit every parent.

I felt the same as you. Then started only purées until I was comfortable to go more solid. My almost 5yr old is now a brilliant eater. You have to do what works for you

Yes, it was around when DS was a baby but I didn't know many people who did it then. I didn't use jars myself but lots of my peers did and most weaned before 6 months.

@JaninaDuszejko theres no need to sound quite so condescending

I think a lot of traditional baby food has been quite soft, scrambled egg, banana and so on.

Im not actually a first time mum, either, not that it matters.

Sorry you're having a hard time OP but I don't recognise the stress over it. I just gave him bits of whatever we were eating in age appropriate sizes and was sensible about choking hazards.

Weaning can be messy but that's just how it is. You said she isn't learning anything by spitting her food out but of course she is. She's literally learning how to manipulate her tongue and mouth to handle food.

If she's not even 7 months yet there's no harm in taking a break from it for a couple of weeks. They barely eat in the beginning anyway. Most of it just ends up on them or on the floor. Dial back the effort.

Gagging is completely normal. It's not the unpleasant experience that we have as adults.

It's how baby stops themselves from choking.

Teeth don't matter. Baby's gums are really hard enough when ready to start chewing.

It's scary for you but not baby.

To start with baby will mostly just play with the food. Then it will get sucked and licked.

It can take weeks before anything actually get eaten.

All babies eventually have to eat real food one way or another. This just goes it at baby's pace.