To really not understand baby led weaning?

[Leavetowean]

I’ve been trying it with my baby (with some trepidation) but I really can’t understand at all how they are meant to not choke.

She just gagged and vomited on some food because she obviously took it straight to the back of her throat as she hasn’t got any teeth to chew it.

I feel like it’s a massive step back for us. I’m really not enjoying the weaning journey one bit, I find it so stressful (and no she isn’t picking up on my stress) but AIBU to think the whole let them eat what you eat just doesn’t work for some babies? What am I missing?

Mine used to love warm buttered slice of toast cut diagonally. They could hold it, mush it, suck it.

I hated it with both of mine.

How old is your baby?

It's a long process but will click one day and be fine

It sounds like she's just not quite ready. I'd give it a break for a week, but take her to the table often and show her what to do. Try again in a week but don't wait months. They need to learn between 6ish and 9ish months so they are competent enough to start replacing the milk.

And BLW is just that the baby leads. It doesn't mean finger food only and no purées. It's important to let them learn to chew with finger foods but it is still BLW if you load a spoon with purée and give them the spoon to feed to themselves. Most people end up doing a mix of purée and finger foods. You don't need to buy purées. Just mash what you were going to give her, or what you are eating.

Solid Starts really is excellent. In particular their instagram if you aren't following it. They also have a 100 day plan which is great and takes all the thinking out of it. If you can't afford to buy it, you can apply to them to get it for free. Charlotte Stirling Reed's book How to Feed your Baby is also excellent and has a 30 day plan that is a mix of purées and finger foods.

Do not panic. My 3 DC also did not read the weaning manual. My eldest rejected all my lovingly prepared purées so it was BLW or bust. They spent at least a month just waving food around passing the time until I gave them milk. They then progressed to the occasional nibble but still everything went on the floor. By the time they were about 10 months old something clicked and they were eating like champs. Never any issues with choking and only gagged very rarely and I didn’t bother with purées for the younger 2 as I found BLW much easier but none of them really “ate” until 10 months but were eating meals with only a few milk feeds by a year old. You’ll get there.

Agree. Not sure why people make it out as a fad.

My boys were about one when their first teeth came. I did purée with DS1 because I was worried about choking. With DS2, he showed signs of wanting food, mimicking our mouths at around five months. Not wanting to have to do separate meals, tried BLW. Started with soft berries, ripe banana, soft stone fru
its, boiled potato, steamed carrots, peas, cheerios, pasta, etc. He was feeding himself by picking food up with is fingers instead of me spoon-feeding him.

I was warned it was messy but he rarely made a mess unless it was something like oatmeal. I plan to do BLW with DD1 who has been doing the same thing as DS2 and she’s three months. She’s constantly watching us and staring at our food. Still going to wait until she’s older though but I can surely say her gums are strong enough due to the times she has bitten me through nursing.

I suppose I was thinking of the Ella’s kitchen type pouches. I really don’t think she’ll go for anything with a texture.

A fad? 😂

Mine are 19 and 17 and it was a thing when they were babies. We did it with both of ours but it was messy...that's about all I remember about it though

I didn’t say it was a fad and I was keen to give it a go. I just don’t see that it’s going to work for us, although she’s refusing to let me feed her with a spoon so I’ve no idea what we’ll do.

I don't think baby led weaning is vastly superior to other forms of weaning and some people can get a bit overly obsessed with it, but it's probably one of the most straightforward ways of weaning if it works for you and your baby. But if it doesn't work, there's nothing wrong with trying a different way.

I did it the easiest way possible, by stopping adding salt to my meals and letting my babies take food off my plate while they sat on my lap at mealtimes. After a couple of months they were eating enough food to make it worthwhile to give them a highchair and their own plate.

I didn't do baby led weaning with mine and they're fine.

I didn't let them smear food all over themselves and make a mess.

I did purées and tiny bird sized bits of food. I know that's not recommended but it really worked for us.

I would break the tiniest bits of toast off my toast for example and place it in their mouths- to get them used to different tastes and chewing a bit.

Then I moved onto really soft biscuits that disintegrate in their mouth. I would just give them those to hold and they'd slowly start eating them. Or those Ella puff sticks.

I went really really really slowly. Neither of my kids ever chocked or even gagged.

I don't think it made any difference to anything tbh. They eat everything now and by the time they were 1, they were able to eat the same stuff baby lead weaning babies could eat.

Some baby lead weaning mums were a bit superior at some stages, as they felt like my babies were ' behind '. Maybe there were at certain points, but it's not made a difference over all.

I just don't think you need to go through the choking and gagging stage to wean your child, if it doesn't work for you.

If she's not keen on spoonfeeding or feeding herself, then maybe she's just not into food yet. As long as you keep offering, it's ok for her not to take it.

How about letting her hold the spoon?

Even if you are doing what you are doing and spoon feeding you will still need to let them have finger foods.

It’s proving a complete pain. The eldest won’t stop shaking the high chair as well. I feel like walking out tonight!

It was another poster who said it was a fad, should have tagged them to make it clear.

It's never a waste of time to offer food and let your DD touch it and interact with it. There's no pressure or need to worry about what she eats or not, just offer a couple of bits of something suitable for grabbing and leave her to it.

Yeah solid starts app is great - each food has a “how to serve section” by age so you can reduce choking hazards.

You’ve already made your mind up that BLW isn’t for you, and that’s fine. Just stop.

I went by the mantra "food is for fun until they're 1". Fed a mix of purée/porridge and finger foods. Finger foods during the day when I could then feed the hunger, and some kind of porridge/cereal in the evening to help them start fuller overnight. I really wouldn't stress about getting meaningful amounts of food into baby in the early months of weaning. Think of it as an activity rather than a meal.

But I suppose what wil? The mess and the stress and the cost and nothing going in is

Biggest loads of bollocks I ever came across as a parent of young DCs.

Just purée fruit to start with, then sweet veg like butternut, sweet potato, carrot. Then whatever you are having. Put it in a little bowl give her a spoon and you have one too, just let her get used to having it in her mouth, don’t expect much to get eaten (if any!) Give her food before the milk feed.

But at this stage it doesn't matter that 'nothing is going in'. She's 7 months old. She's getting her nutrients from her milk feeds. Food is to play with and explore new textures. You don't have to be doing full meals at this stage. Just sit her in the highchair with some breadsticks and a chunk of banana, or a bit of steamed broccoli and let her figure it out.

Baby feeding is messy whatever approach you take, or at least it should be. If you spoonfeed the NHS recommend giving finger foods too, so mess is inevitable.

It doesn't need to be expensive. Fruit and veg in tiny quantities isn't going to cost a lot, nor would other things you can offer.

It's not about quantity going in, it's about learning about food, about mealtimes, about textures, smells, tastes etc etc.

If you're already feeding a small child then just give the baby some of theirs. The extra cost will be tiny.

Weaning is messy but then lots of parenting is.

Just put food in her tray and let her explore with her hands. She'll naturally start putting things in her mouth- suck, chew/gum and spit out before swallowing. But she had to be given opportunities to explore food. You are really stressing over this too much.