To really not understand baby led weaning?

[Leavetowean]

I’ve been trying it with my baby (with some trepidation) but I really can’t understand at all how they are meant to not choke.

She just gagged and vomited on some food because she obviously took it straight to the back of her throat as she hasn’t got any teeth to chew it.

I feel like it’s a massive step back for us. I’m really not enjoying the weaning journey one bit, I find it so stressful (and no she isn’t picking up on my stress) but AIBU to think the whole let them eat what you eat just doesn’t work for some babies? What am I missing?

I don’t think it’s a fad but I do think some babies take to BLW really well and others just don’t, and those people with babies who do well have no idea what it’s like when your baby is just not interested at all. Don’t feel pressured either way. We did a combination of both, but mine is 14 months now and only just starting to eat more significant amounts. A certain amount of gagging is normal though and different to choking.

I did try that but I don’t feed him every day (nursery) so it only works on days I have them both.

I probably am stressing too much but she’s so fidgety and difficult at the moment it’s so hard keeping her happy and I hoped food might help!

I think your expectations for how much they're going to eat and how quickly they're getting the hang of weaning are far too high.

If she's not 7 months until 18th Feb presumably you've only been weaning 3 weeks?

Some of them get it quicker than others, but they just need practice and not a pressurised environment (I know you say you're not passing on stress on, but kids pick up on a lot, so I'd be surprised).

If she's really struggling with finger foods, you could try the puff crisps to get used to the feeling of food in the mouth.

They don't need teeth to chew. DD only has one tooth and is a champion chewer. They just need practice.

Hardly a fad. My eldest is 15 and it was far from a tree thing back then.

There's no benefit in sneering at other options simply because it's not what you choose to do. There is room for both, or even a mixture of the two.

Personally I favoured "my kid weaning".

It sounds like this is the thing that’s just pushed you over the limit today. It’s hard, we all have those days. I think the main issue here though is your expectations. They don’t just start perfectly eating from the get go. Those first few months of weaning are about tasting, touching, practicing, yes sometimes some gagging will bring up milk, that most likely bothers you more than her (my babies have both been sicky though so it’s never been an issue here) it can take them months to figure it out and that’s fine. Just keep giving her a bit of what you or the toddler are having and let her have a go. Don’t worry about how much is going in, you probably won’t realise she’s eating much until her poo changes. It doesn’t have to be a big pressure.

DD1 (mix fed) took to BLW instantly. She had a milk/pain association from silent reflux.

DD2 (EBF) didn't really show any interest in BLW until 9 months. She developed 11 food allergies between 6 and 18 months.

All babies are different. I was relaxed about the slow start to solids because she was my second AND because I had experience of BLW being successful with DD1. My concerns lay with the number of allergies she developed.

No - I knew she wouldn’t eat much, I just suppose I thought she’d grab food and bring it to her mouth. (I made that mistake with my first of having unrealistic expectations about how much he’d eat but now I’m worried I’m too far the other way!) I can’t help but think that if the expectation is they throw it on the floor what is the blessed point to that?

I am also struggling hugely with when to fit it into the day so that’s another problem.

For first stages, I used to use a crinkle chopper (can just use a knife!) to cut up a load of root veg sticks - butternut squash and parsnip were good - and then roast them in a big tray slowly until they were soft but still stick shapes. Same for carrots but they worked better being boiled.

Freeze them flat on baking trays to stop them sticking together then scrape into a large freezer bag. I'd pull out a handful and microwave for each meal - takes the stress out as no effort!

They were great for kids to hold in their fist and then suck / mush then up with gums.

Re the ‘fad’ thing, I think it’s just that it’s given a name and framework to something that people have been doing for years. I think people used to be quite happy to try a few different approaches and go with what works. Now BLW is talked about as if it’s some gold standard because it’s a ‘thing’.

I don’t think it’s a fad, but I do advocate doing what’s right for you.

I did do BLW with mine - it’s was incredibly convenient with the second since I pretty gave her what the toddler was eating.

There we’re a couple of heart in mouth moments, but I think you get that with everything.

For what it’s worth, I think a bit of purée and a bit of finger food is likely the most approach.

She's only 7mos so it's totally normal for not much to be going in yet, don't put too much pressure on yourself. They definitely need to be exposed to solids at that age though so don't stop giving her food for a couple of months.

It took a while for my son to figure out chewing and swallowing (you'd be surprised how much they can chew with just gums!) but once he got it that was it. He was happily eating chicken drumsticks by 9mo 😂 he's still a great eater now at 2yo. I don't know anyone who's enjoyed the weaning process, purées or BLW!

Just giving babies normal food is the biggest load of bollocks you ever came across? How odd.

Take a step back from stressing about it and try again in a couple of weeks. If you eat bananas or toast or steamed veg such as carrots just let baby pick it off your plate - if they're not helping themselves to your food yet (to gum and play with, you already know solids are not for nutrition at this stage) then they're not ready to BLW. Spitting out porridge / rice / yoghurt is absolutely normal when you first start, can feel frustrating but is absolutely as it should be. Vomit is not a regular part of the weaning experience, no wonder you're not impressed - could just be coincidence that it happend at that moment.
A lot of parents find BLW easier as you're not preparing special food for baby and it involves less hassle and 'stuff', but if you find that method stresses you out more then stick with purees as they work just as well (no need to purchase ready made, just mush up whatever veg etc you're eating so long as it's not salty), you just just have to go through the 'introducing lumps ' phase later on which some babies struggle with but others don't mind at all.
I BLW my three; eldest has always eaten everything, middle child a bit more reserved but wide range and was lazy baby who preferred spoonfeeding if offered, youngest loved BLW and ate everything, by 2 years suddenly was VERY fussy and now severely limits the range of foods. The method of weaning in my experience did not determine how fussy or not the child ended up being about food further down the line.

Good luck OP.

Food is for fun until they're one
Is what I was told when mine were that age! I'd largely agree. I did BLW altho I didn't know it was called that until no.2. Life is too short to spend pureeing things and freezing in little ice cube trays.

Personally l don't agree with it.
My child was EBF until eight months..( no water no food just breast milk). First food she had was mashed banana with breast milk on it..
Then Cauliflower mashed with breast milk..
My neice had to do turn her son over and slap him with trying baby led ...from choking.
Your child .. you do whatever you think is best.

Also - what we call ‘traditional weaning’ is very much the fad. We’ve only had 100 ish years of special baby purées. Babies have always just been given appropriate family food, this is still the case in most of the world too. Purees are an invention of industry. ‘Inventing Baby Food’ by Amy Bentley is worth a read if you’re interested

Just do what feels comfortable to you, the end result is the same. I am a big believer in the variety of food being more important than the method you choose to feed it.

But definitely don’t worry about a lack of teeth. I baby led weaned with two of mine, neither had any teeth until they were over one year but both could eat just fine, my youngest used to love meatballs in tomato sauce from about 7 months., they learn how to break food down and chew with gums.

Purées are not expensive. Just mash up the food you're cooking anyway! Those packs and jars are expensive, but that's just clever marketing

You say if she holds food she doesn't try to eat it, so how is it getting into her mouth? For BLW, it's important that they put it in their own mouths as that is how they learn to control where in their mouth it goes.

Your little one sounds like my second. I cldnt wait to wean as she was terrible at feeding in general so I hoped she wld like food as she wasn't keen on milk. She didn't want that either. I gave up weaning after a couple of weeks tried again about 7.5-8 months. It was still slow and stressful but we had to start somewhere.

Baby led is a massive pain in the arse coz they create all masses of mess and in my experience hardly eat anything! I was forced into it as she wldnt take Purees. I think if I had another baby I wld try a bit of both though.

It is scary and she used to gag but they progress so much quicker with eating when it's done this way. I can't say I'm a fan as the floor, walls, her and everywhere just seemed covered in food. I cld never tell how much had actually gone in her tummy!

We started out on these foods:

Smashed avocado on toast fingers
Corn on the cob (she wld suck on it mainly but as she got bigger cld properly eat it)
Any pasta (I used to get the fear with this)
Yoghurt, she had to feed herself (the mess was stressful)
Banana
Houmus with Ella's kitchen melty sticks
Biscotti baby biscuits
Scrambled eggs
Garlic bread (she wld suck until it went soggy so she cld swallow it)
Cooked carrots (very soft sticks)
Cereal soaked in milk (so shreddies put in some milk then left for a minute, put in her tray so she cld pick it up)

By age 1 she was pretty much eating what we were or a variation of it. Shes 4 now and still doesn't eat a lot. Weaning is hard work so u have my sympathy hope it improves soon.

It’s not!

I’ll get some pouches tomorrow and see if we get by any better.

I did BLW 16 years ago.

In the 1970s, babies were weaned at 3 months, moving to 4 months in the 1980s, but Government advice changed in 2003 to recommend exclusive breastfeeding for a full 6 months before solids should be introduced alongside breastmilk. A 3 month old can't hold their head up, can't sit up, can't pick up things up. They have a very strong gag reflex. The only way for them to 'eat' something other than breastmilk is to have smooth purees spoon fed into them.

All that BLW does is miss out the first two to three months of smooth puree so we can start introducing finger foods at the same age that our mothers did.

I think @Leavetowean you're just getting a bit anxious. You started weaning 3 weeks ago with purees and your DD wasn't interested and so you swapped to finger food (how many days ago?) and she's gagged and vomited.

Take a step back, keep on giving her milk on demand and pick a time (after a feed) each day for messy fun with food. Give her a few bits of banana (You know how it splits into 3 lengthways, a few sticks of those will be sufficient) or a rice cake (this has the advantage of being relatively clean) or a stick of cheese (not too often since this is high in salt but also has the advantage of being high in protein) or whichever part of the food you are eating that day is easiest to make baby friendly and put that on a clean surface in front of her and let her play. It's all about exploration initially, not about what goes in their mouth. Some DC will take to it immediately and enthusiastically (DD1), some will slowly and gradually increase what they eat (DD2) and some will show little to no interest for a month or longer then have an epiphany and suddenly get interested (DS).

Instead of feeding her the porridge, try to preload it and let her play/attempt to put it in. BlW is about leaving them to their own devices.

Check out Slatter's division of responsibility: The caregiver is responsible for determining what, when, and where the meal takes place, while the child is responsible for deciding if and how much they eat.

That really helped me with my perspective on BLW.

Check out Katie Ferraro on Instagram- babyledweanteam. Also she has a podcast with episodes on absolutely everything you could want to know.

Oh, Also, the baby is 7 months old. Give her a minute to get used to it. I think mine just played and made a huge mess at that point.

Milk is the thing that is sustaining them still at this point. Don't drop any feeds or anything yet.

We started with resistive food teethers, great for taste and practicing chewing but no risk of choking. It’s a great way for babies to learn to eat - https://solidstarts.com/why-we-love-resistive-sticks-of-foods-for-babies-starting-solids/

Also Solid Starts free app is absolutely excellent if you are feeding solids or purées.

This is really good advice.

You can give her bits of what you are eating as long as it's not honey or too salty.

As first foods I found carrot batons, penne pasta or toast cut into soldiers easier to pick up.