To really not understand baby led weaning?

[Leavetowean]

I’ve been trying it with my baby (with some trepidation) but I really can’t understand at all how they are meant to not choke.

She just gagged and vomited on some food because she obviously took it straight to the back of her throat as she hasn’t got any teeth to chew it.

I feel like it’s a massive step back for us. I’m really not enjoying the weaning journey one bit, I find it so stressful (and no she isn’t picking up on my stress) but AIBU to think the whole let them eat what you eat just doesn’t work for some babies? What am I missing?

Gagging (and even a bit of regurgitation) is completely different to choking. The gag reflex point in an infant is a lot closer to the front of the mouth than it is in an adult, it moves back as they grow. So when she gags on something, it's actually helping her learn to move food around her mouth. And it doesn't really matter if she's not actually eating much at this point. She should be getting all of her nutritional needs from her milk feeds until she's at least one year old. Weaning at this point is about learning to eat, not the importance of actually eating to replace milk feeds.

Food is for fun and learning at this age so don’t worry about her not swallowing any of it. They are learning what happens when you put food in your mouth.

I’ve been spoon feeding her porridge, but it’s literally maybe half a teaspoon. She just spits it out.

If she holds food she doesn’t really try to eat it so maybe just not ready yet.

I think you have too high expectations of this. Dial back stressing out about it and allow her to continue learning.

She isn’t learning though, she’s just spitting food out and being sick!

And baby led weaning isn't a 'fad', it's just another option.

Has she still got the younger thrust reflex and that is why not bring seems to be going down? Leaving it a few months seems a bit extreme but certainly a few days or a week rest may make you feel better.

I’m not sure. My first only went onto solids at nearly nine months and that does seem to be when it’s expected food will partly be replacing milk. What we’re doing now feels stressful and pointless.

There is also a window of time during which it's easier to get them used to solids, if you leave it too late it can be really hard to wean, as they refuse even purées.

Honestly, she's so young, this stage of weaning is really about getting her used to moving food to her mouth, and around her mouth, and if she swallows any it's a bonus.

BLW isn't compulsory. It was great for my youngest (she was trying to eat my pizza at 4 months old) but my eldest preferred softer textures and using a spoon.

Both eat normally now (and my eldest the dreaded puree spoon fed child is the more adventurous eater)

I just thought I’d try it as we weren’t getting very far with purées!

I would, once or twice a day, just put some grabbable food onto her tray whilst you eat your meal, and leave her to it. She doesn't need to be eating much of it just yet, and touching, holding, manipulating food is a learning experience in itself.

I hated it too. I did purees and just introduced very safe finger foods that dissolve in the mouth like those puffs. Moved to mixed by about 8/9 months.
Do what you and your baby feel most comfortable with. They all eat food with knives and forks in the end (even if I still have to nag my 6yo to use cutlery).

Op, 8 grandchildren in and I can honestly say I hate it with a passion because of how stupid it makes me feel even after having 5 children of my own. I know how to grow children but BLW is beyond me. Thankfully though my children all said just feed the children the way you want to mum, you didn’t go wrong with us, so I do. With BLW I’d nearly have a heart attack with all the gagging but most of all I’d feel so blooming angry with myself about not being able to manage it that I could have quite happily thrown the whole bloody lot of bits and pieces out the window.

At that age it is about the baby trying different tastes and textures and handling food not really "eating". I do recall Tanya Byron (I think) saying that a child needs to taste something 18 times before it's accepted.

Weaning can be a slow process but as others have said they all end up eating food with cutlery in the end

I didn't even try BLW. It sounded ridiculous, to be honest but then I understand giving it a go if she is also refusing purees.

She might not be quite ready yet but I'd keep giving it a go at least once a day as she's going on for 7 months. Just remember that BLW is optional and the NHS are also just as supportive of and still recommend traditional weaning too, it's just personal preference.

But she doesn’t … arghh. Hate weaning so much.

Sorry cross posts! I think it just be one of those some babies take to really well and others just don’t. Back to purées! Problem is it’s expensive

As others have said initially not much, if any, food is actually eaten.

We did a mixture of purées and finger food from six months. DS had no teeth at that point, his first tooth came through on his first birthday. His favourite thing to do with the finger foods was pick them up and drop them on the floor.

I found weaning in general handwork, boring and painful in equal measure for both of mine 🤦🏻‍♀️

Neither really ate anything consistently until at least 9 months (apart from melty puffs - the horror!)

I tried to make it as easy for myself as possible. While I didn't necessarily puree stuff I tried to have a plate which had something I'd spoon and something they could pick up. So breakfast might be yoghurt and fingers of pear. Tea would be leftovers from the night before, maybe mashed potato and a strip of chicken.

At nearly 4 and 2 it's still phases of eating everything or nothing

It does feel like a waste of time then, though, although it’s good others have been here. Her brother eats well now but probably hasn’t got the best table manners at home anyway so trying to avoid this being an issue!

Weaning will suck the soul out of even the hardiest of parents. Just keep on trucking on

I’m glad it isn’t just me. It feels like other babies take to it really well and the process is enjoyed by their parents. I absolutely loathe it!

How are purées expensive? Just cook some veg or fruit and blend it to start with, then start blending the food you eat such as bolognese, stews, mash.

And be patient with weaning, it probably won’t be a quick process, you just have to take the time to do it slowly and give a range of food types