Rise above or Rub it in

[CloudStra]

I've been dealing with DH jealous ex wife for quite some time now. She writes things on FB about me and DH, our house and cars etc. My husband is a high earner and she is totally obsessed with what we are doing and the fact she doesn't have access to his money anymore. She constantly complains about her own finances in comparison and how unfair it all is despite receiving a large settlement upon divorce which she also lies about.

I'm at the point that I want to actually give her something to moan about! Is it spiteful and petty if I do a bit of social media bragging (not usually my style) just to piss her off?

@5128gap I don't disagree, which is why I have ignored it this long.

You might get a sick satisfaction from pissing her off, but its just going to exacerbate the behaviour that pisses you off,

The thing is I'm at a point where not being able to retaliate is actually pissing me off more than her bullshit behaviour 😂

The bias here towards the first wife and against the second wife is astounding.

I am no one's wife nor have ever been, so maybe I haven't yet noticed the prejudice that others report existing here.

I am honestly gobsmacked at the ludicrous imbalance in the judgements being made on this thread about each party's behaviours and motivations.

The first wife has behaved appallingly for a long time. She has remarried (a fact which has been ignored in these responses) and has still chosen not to move on from her covetousness and bitterness. She is lashing out like a furious child.

So many posters here are excusing and condoning her and managing to blame the ex-husband and his second wife, whilst casting huge, unfounded aspersions on them.

OP appears to be a reasonable person, albeit only human, as she herself acknowledges. So many posters here are viciously condemning her for wanting to mildly retaliate and set the record straight.

As MN likes to put it, give your heads a fucking wobble, dears.

I think you all sound as classless as each other, in different ways. Including the idiot friend. You need to get a grip and move on, even if she won’t.

Out of interest, what kind of tacky boastful photos were you fantasising about posting?

And making sure your Gucci bag is accidentally peeking out of your profile photo is a bit cringe. But then again I have a low tolerance of bling and display of labels.

@LauderSyme Said it better than I did.

Go for it OP

Totally get why you would be curious about lies that are made up about you and DH. Especially with step kids who may be affected by them. Live your life, post the stuff you would normally and fake indifference to her opinion until you achieve it (as you are factually correcting step kids and any mutual friends of DH as you go.)

Vent to your friends honestly you'll feel rubbish entering into her spiders web conspiracy

Delete or suspend your account. Really nobody needs Faceache.

Childish and stupid behaviour all round. Social media is shit.

He didn't give up his job, he was asked to leave. Hence the payout. So that is another wrong assumption on your part. I agree the timing of this was extremely fortunate for him in the end, but he had no idea she was about to up and leave with the kids at that point.

So he'd lost his job and was setting up his own business - and those businesses rarely make much in the early days - rather than going straight back into employment. Sounds like she saw the money tap being turned off and went to look for another one.

Do it.

casual bit of pettiness then block her and continue to live your life.

If me hypothesising about exacting a bit of petty revenge after years of provocation is as classless as the woman actually spreading slander to all and sundry.. then I'll take it with a pinch of salt.

And making sure your Gucci bag is accidentally peeking out of your profile photo is a bit cringe. But then again I have a low tolerance of bling and display of labels.

I'd say putting your small handbag on the table whilst out is standard procedure, isn't it? Should I have quickly flung it on the floor before the snap, just incase I got accused of strategically placing it for attention? Personally, I wouldn't put my bag on a dirty public floor, where it could potentially be nicked, even if it was from Florence and Fred.

I don't know, as I said in my initial comment, I'm not really one to boast. I could always live up to her accusations and super impose myself onto a yacht in Dubai, despite not having been abroad in year and years. Perhaps you could offer up some suggestions on something really tacky? You appear to be the oracle on good taste after all.

@LauderSyme

Thank you. I've also hilariously been accused of being the OW on this thread. I'd hardly be ranting about this woman's behaviour if I had stole her husband, she would justified in dragging me through the mud if that were the case.

Sure. You wanted your blingy handbag in your profile pic. At least own it. Am sure you could curate some similarly tacky revenge pics, in order to show off to make her jealous. You are clearly giving it a lot of thought.

@CloudStra you're really not coming across well, you've spent hours and hours defending your position and it's all so pathetic. Yes you're much better than her, if you say so, but you sound so bitter. Who are you relying on to pass on the photos? Because they're just enabling you, which is very odd of them.

I'm not relying on anyone to pass on photos. I covered that earlier. I'm not bitter, just fed up.

My Mulberry Alexa is in shot in mine. Just because it happened to be on the table in the restaurant when a good friend took what was probably the most flattering photo of me ever taken....and which I use for Facebook 🤣
I don't imagine anyone has ever noticed it because who actually studies people's profile pictures, unless they are like the ex wife in this thread and want to stalk the second wife....
Come to think of it my partner's ex is probably the only person who has noticed my bag because she too used to be obsessed with us.

I actually hadn't even considered about my bag being in the picture at the time it was taken, being at a restaurant. I chose the profile picture because it was a rare picture of me looking nice having made an effort for once and it is about 2 years old so not exactly a big boast. That is a very warped analysis as to why someone would have their belongs on the table side, but you can roll with it if you like.

Well I hadn't given it any thought until the other day, and as I said before this post has also been a bit of tongue in cheek and an excuse to vent.

could always live up to her accusations and super impose myself onto a yacht in Dubai, despite not having been abroad in year and years.

How about superimposing yourself onto that photo of Michelle mone on her yacht 🤣

My advice is to tell DH friend to stop sending him/you screenshots of XW posts that are about you. They are just shit stirring and sound rather unkind.

Just get on with your own life and leave her to stew in her bitterness.

Well I wouldn't mind having her bod 😂

You are very much contradicting yourself acrually.

He received a large payout from his company and didn't need to work for the first year after the divorce so was able to set up the business and look after the kids
According to your previous post, the divorce wasn't until 4 years after they separated. So he set up the business quite some time after age left. Yet you also said he applied for 50/50 soon after the separation and got it.

You also say that you didn't come to the picture until about 2 years after the separation so you really don't know what happened during those two years but what he told you.

She might have more reasons than you think for saying things bad mouthing him and some might not be all lies.

Saying that I do agree that she should have moved on by now having remarried. Posting on social media to moan or brag is really quite juvenile.

@CloudStra you sound very bitter, you don't sound fed up.

I'm am a first wife, we've been married coming up 37 years.

I'm happily married, no affairs on either side. No massive issues.

In case you want to decide to analyse why I'm not agreeing with you, other than I just think you sound bitter.

I'd advise rising above, but absolutely rise above if there are kids involved. Do not put them in the situation where both their mum and their stepmum are having a petty social media spat.

I agree that does look like a contradiction, I have genuinely misspoken there, I meant the first year after SEPERATION.