Rise above or Rub it in

[CloudStra]

I've been dealing with DH jealous ex wife for quite some time now. She writes things on FB about me and DH, our house and cars etc. My husband is a high earner and she is totally obsessed with what we are doing and the fact she doesn't have access to his money anymore. She constantly complains about her own finances in comparison and how unfair it all is despite receiving a large settlement upon divorce which she also lies about.

I'm at the point that I want to actually give her something to moan about! Is it spiteful and petty if I do a bit of social media bragging (not usually my style) just to piss her off?

Tell this mutual friend to stop sending these things to your DH. Neither of you are interested or want to see it.

You don’t need to do anything, it really sounds as though she’s embarrassing herself! People aren’t stupid, they can see that kind of thing for what it is. I wouldn’t fuel it, if you brag about stuff then you’re giving her exactly what she wants (making yourself look bad). I would ask that friend to stop showing you her posts, too.

So you have been dealing with this for a while and she is “constantly” complaining about finances. But you don’t have access to her social media and it is therefore the mutual friend and your husband that is constantly passing this onto you. Why don’t you just tell your husband to stop it?

They have been separated for a decade and divorced for 6 years!

It also comes back to us through DHs kids. My stepchildren live with us 50/50.

If neither of you are friends or involved with her in any way, then her opinion should mean nothing to you. Or are you so immature and insecure that the opinion of any old idiot / stranger / distant acquaintance affects you to this level of patheticness? Move on with your life.

We have this situation in our extended family. Tbh if it’s exactly the same as yours, I’m on team you as the ex is an absolute ballache.

Sometimes being petty is ok. Usually I’d say rise above it but just sometimes do the full opposite of Michelle Obama.

Realistically, what is it going to achieve?

Inflaming an already ridiculous and childish situation isn't going to end well. It won't make her stop, it'll likely make her ramp it up. You'll have no satisfaction from it because it won't make her stop, or put her back in her box as you'd like. It would just feed her anger and make you look like an utter berk to your social media followers.

Your shit stirring friends however need to wind their necks in. Fair enough letting you know once she's posted something but the screen shots and reporting back to you is just feeding into the drama.

I hope there isn't kids involved in this.
Edit: I see there is, always the victims.

If you feel you have to post something, address the slander, make it clear you are aware of what’s being said untruthfully , and that you are taking advice of how to deal with the slander.

You don’t need to brag, she knows

😂

It is hard to know how to react until you've experienced it for yourself. I'm realising I am obviously a petty twat. To be fair to me, I haven't reacted to it this far.

Given there are children involved I would focus minimising the impact of unpleasant adult behaviour on them so

rise above it
tell the mutual friend to stop screen shotting her private account and sharing it around
ignore and change the subject if the children say she’s said something unpleasant

Other people's opinions about me is none of my business.

I get it - I used to care and want to know if people were talking shit about me.
Now, with the wisdom of cynicism and age, I don't give a shit.
They have no impact on my life.

Seriously, try it, it's very freeing.

If she is being slanderous, take her to court to shut her up.

@MaybeImbad We NEVER and I mean NEVER bad mouth her to the children. When they come back saying things such as 'mum didn't get any money when you got divorced' we have to tell them the truth whilst deflecting the conversation to a different topic. It is no wonder they want to come here for more than 50/50. She is still going on about it like it was last year. They have been divorced for 6 years.

Yes seriously slanderous. Though I don't know how much success we would get with going to Court and it would distress the kids, so best avoided.

Living well is all the response you need to make.

So just don’t read the screenshots

He's not receiving anything from a friend, it's from a shit stirrer!

Oh I see, that's ridiculous!

Tell the mutual friend to stop shit stirring and sending stuff to dh

let her complain, you know the truth, you can’t do anything about it, let her be bitter

I entirely get the urge to be petty and vindictive when someone is writing a heap of shite about you, but in the end you’ll just feel worse for it. Hate breeds hate and if you’re not careful you can get caught up in it and lose sight of what’s actually important in life. But again, I completely get it

If you did put things on Facebook, but you aren’t friends with her, you are relying on her going and looking at your profile to see if you’ve changed your profile or cover pic etc. is she actually going to do that? I don’t think it’s a healthy thing to do anyway, but it’s probably pointless.

Sounds like school yard stuff.
Getting petty sounds like a he picked me dance.
Tbh you both sound childish you bragging over the husbands income her moaning about how its not fair to have it.
Hes` earning it not you two.
Honestly just stop before it you both look like prats fighting for one man.

You all sound equally as obsessed with each other? Why not tell the friend to stop sending you screenshots…just move on if you’re so happy…

There kids involved…and you want to be petty…

bloody eck rise above and move on