What are your thoughts on holidaying without your children?

[Dinoswearunderpants]

Curious to know if people think it's ok to regularly go on holiday without their kids.

I personally like going away with my DS but I see so many people on social media often go away without their kids.

If you do it, do you take your kids away another time?

Love to know peoples thoughts.

I guess the AIBU is

Oh the joy of having children is you become a martyr

I guess everyone has what they think is ok? For me what you're saying would probably be too many depending on the children's age. But then other people send their kids to boarding school. I don't really see the point of having kids if you don't see then much. At the end of the day the child will judge, what we think is largely irrelevant

I love it. We do a mix. Currently at my DMs house as just dropped the DC. They are going to have a great few day together whilst me and DH have some quality time together. We are leaving for the airport tomorrow We have some great family activities planned for the weekend when we are back. Also have family Easter Holiday booked.
DH and I have done 1-4 night adult only breaks every year since DC came along (some years twice). They benefit all of us and DC often ask when we are next away so they can go to GPs house alone.

I would never go away without my DD.
Holidays are family time and I love them.

no judgement if others are happy to leave their children and go away, but it’s not something i could do… The fear of something happening and not being there for them would ruin the holiday it anyway.

My kids holidayed abroad with their grandparents in exotic locations every year from 2-17.

I'd do a week by myself when they were small and they'd go to the GPs.

When I got divorced I did lots more by myself.

As a small kid I was quite often away at friends and family. My mum had cancer and I was with friends for chunks of time when she had treatments.

When I met DH our kids were aged 5 - 9. We'd spend a week away together every year. Did all other holidays with them.

A regular thing isn't great though

Define regular?
I working a job that requires me to travel internationally 4/5 times a year and the distance means it needs to be at least a week.

One of my friends was so fearful of something happening to her child that she planned to take a hotel close to the outdoor centre her child was going to for a school trip - trip was cancelled due to Covid but I have no idea how she will cope with her child going to Uni - I feel sorry for them both!

I have gone away for weekends without DS but never a proper holiday, simply because I'm a lone parent and there is no one who could have DS for a whole week or more. My mum probably would but she lives a bit of a way away so she'd have to take time off work to drive DS to school and back every day which I wouldn't really want to ask her to do.

This is such terrible parenting. Bonkers

We have a 2 week family holiday every year. DH also takes the kids away without me for 2-3 nights to do an activity they all love but I'm not interested in. DH and I also go away for 3-4 nights by ourselves every year while DC are staying with my parents. I feel no guilt about this as the DC have a great time and my parents really look forward to it. I'm not going to tell them they can't have this time with their GC for the sake of martyrdom, and it makes no sense for DH and I to waste it sitting at home.

It also gives DH and I chance to re-connect as a couple. Our lives revolve around the children's needs the rest of the time, which is as it should be, but it's nice to be able to focus on each other for a change.

People upthread claiming people like us "shouldn't have kids" as we "don't want to spend time with them" because we enjoy a break just the two of us for 3 or 4 nights out of 365 are being completely ridiculous. We aren't depriving the kids as they still get a holiday. If we couldn't afford to do both, we wouldn't go away without them.

Jeez. It’s not this at all. I don’t think anyone here is leaving their kids every weekend to go away without them. It’s all about finding a balance. For example, our main family holiday includes our DS and always will. We prioritise our family holiday, but if finances allow it’s also important to have time to ourselves as well. Life doesn’t stop just because you become mum and dad. I’m not saying all the time but 2-3 times a year having a weekend away is nice. The first time I left DS was to go away for the weekend for my best friends 30th when he was 8 months old. It was hard leaving him but I absolutely loved having a girly weekend where I wasn’t having to think about routines, feeds, nap times etc. DH and I also try to have a couple of nights away on our own each year and DS stays with his grandparents. It’s not “palming him off” at all. We live a few hours away from family so they jump at the chance to have him (if they said they didn’t want him or he didn’t want to go we obviously wouldn’t leave him!). It’s important to us he builds that relationship with them especially as he doesn’t see them all the time, as he would if we lived locally.

I wasn't being facetious.

I love my kids. I love spending time with them.

I also love spending time away from them. It's nice not being needed or talked at for a bit.

I love coming back to them.

I actually do think that it is a joy peculiar to parents to escape from your children for short periods of time. And there's nothing wrong with that. In short, I'm all for "palming off" and wish I could do it more regularly.

My DC get to do fun activities/build family relationships/whatever.

I get to reset and become a little less frazzled around the edges.

Win-win.