To ask if you’ve regretted having a third child or sticking at two?

[Busby88]

I know third child posts come up all the time on Mumsnet (I think I’ve read them all 😅) but just wondering if anyone has any insight on whether they’ve regretted the decision they made when deciding whether or not to go for a third child?

I know logically it is better to stick at two. Holidays, finances, car space, emotional time to invest in current DC, risk to me and any future child etc etc. But oh my heart absolutely longs for a third. I always saw myself with three kids but never really thought about it until I had two and I started to consider what a shift it would be.

So I’m not asking for all the arguments for sticking at two, I know these off by heart. I’m just after first hand experiences of people who were either desperate for a third but decided to stick at two, or people who went for a third and regret it ( I know you’d never regret the actual child but you know what I mean hopefully).

Name changed because some people IRL know my normal MN username and I don’t want them to know how seriously we are considering a third…

I have three and it made our family complete.
100% right for us.

Stuck at 2. Had a wobble when youngest was three or four about wanting another. 5 years later very glad I didn’t succumb to the bloodiness.

I secretly long for a third too! I literally dream about it. Always saw myself having three. But my husband is so not on board and is more than happy with two, he would have been happy with just one. I know all the reasons to stick with two off by heart too, I keep having to tell myself them as I think having a third is really not going to happen for us sadly.

I had two and was done...until I met my now husband who didn't have any!
I have a 16 yo, 13 yo and 3 yo.
Wouldn't change a thing.
My hubby is 48 though and had a vasectomy last year so definitely no more!! I'm 43.

Love having 3. Yes, it’s harder - prolongs the toddler days, more costly, bigger car etc etc. but can honestly say none of that is even a ‘thing’ for us, we weren’t complete before and now we are, simple as.

My DH travelled to Texas for a VR, the result (DC3, now 14) gives me lip every day, calls me "short adult" (I'm 5'0"; she's 5'2"), and I have to yell at her to do chores, but I wouldn't have it any other way. She idolises her older siblings (25 and 24); they get together at DC1's house every now and then, and have a great time.

I have three. They're all fab but it's a lot harder than two, and expensive now they're teens. I adore them all, but if I had my time again I'd probably stick at two.

My youngest is 4.5 and I swore I would never ever want more but here I am, broody for that third child I'll never have.
I'm hoping to read loads of posts about how two is so much better 🙈

Honestly 3 is fabulous and underrated. I never found the hotel thing an issue, lots of people have 3 dc and I felt it brought a breath of fresh air to the sibling dynamic. I felt 3 dc was a good change without any real issues and lots of cars fit 3 dc. I also liked that dc 3 had a bigger gap than 1/2, it was nice to see them really experience becoming an older sibling at an older age were there was no competition and their needs were different. It was very very sweet.

Now I will say life does get more complicated at 4+!

If you have 2 children you will never say to someone who has one that you hate 2. That's how motherhood works. Someone who never wants kids could get accidentally pregnant at 40 and would love the kid more than anything. I just realise more now that it's such a privilege that not everyone gets and so many people have miscarriages and multiple problems even before having a child that nothing is guaranteed.

Go for it if it is what you want and what you can provide for, and have the nerves for. It can be hard in the early days, and then later in their teenage years. DD2 (third child) is amazing and very different from the other three (I ended up with 4 because I didn't want DC3 to be on her own without a close sibling). But there is never a day that I don't think "blimey, you are quite something"

"(I ended up with 4 because I didn't want DC3 to be on her own without a close sibling)"

Ah, we would have been happy with a fourth for DC3, but it wasn't to be. I was a fortnight short of 39 when she was born, and she turned out to be our only reversal baby. She seems to be okay, though. 🤞

Stuck at two. we both wanted four but realised we couldn’t afford them. we are both the middle one of three and agreed we would never have three and put another child in that position.

I’m confused by your post - do you only want to hear from people with three if they regret it? We have three and love it. Happy to share more if that’s of interest.

I adore having 3.

Im so grateful to have them all.

You're unlikely to find anyone outright admit they regret a third once they are here. I love my third of course, but would life have been much easier, less stressful, affordable with just two? Yes!!!

Three is bloody brilliant. I was one of three and I have three. Never had any complaints or regrets.

Life would be easier, (materially) richer and less stressful with no kids at all, though, wouldn't it?! 🤷‍♀️

We considered a third but honestly we were put off after watching a family member constantly refereeing her three kids, who seem to constantly split into two against one and fall out. It may just be her particular kids but I get the feeling the dynamic can be really tricky.

I have three and it's great, but I was one of two who didn't get on with my sibling, so I was never going to have two.

I wanted 3 but DH wasn’t keen. Gave up the notion and unexpectedly fell pregnant with DD (now 9). I wept and wept at the time (I was 42), but she is an amazing addition to our family and brings such a great dynamic to the house of 2 DSs. DS1 is 7 years older and she has him totally wrapped around her little finger.

unfortunately, she is going to be an absolute nightmare teen - I can see it already, but hey, she will be worth it.

Have three and don't regret it. But despite knowing the challenges and calculating the costs, the reality is a bit of a shock!

We've had to change our lifestyle significantly and really have to budget carefully. We defo do struggle with things like holidays abroad as they are now so expensive. I'm wincing about how much worse this will get when they are older.

Also, I don't feel like any of them get the attention I'd like to give them. It would be nice if we had more one to one time and that would be very achievable with two.

Number 3 is a joy though!

I had a third and loved it.

Currently expecting number 4

My third was not planned, I had a vomitting bug whilst on the pill, we even used a condom but shit happens. We thought about whether we should go through with the pregnancy we weren't really in a position to keep it but we'd lost a child before and I didn't feel like I could go through with a termination. It's not a disaster obviously but I could have offered my other children much more by not having a third. We all love him a lot and he's brought out a beautiful empathetic side in both of my other DC.

I was one of three and this was my experience