To be annoyed by my weight but not my size?

[chatenoire]

This is just venting... But I'm fairly heavy for my size and always have been.

I'm currently 68kg / 1.59m and a size 8 or 13y in kids clothes.

You can actually see my abs and most certainly don't look chubby but definitely not skinny either. I'm very much happy with my size though.

I don't really lift (15lbs is the heaviest dumbbell I own) but I do workout.

It's really annoying because I never feel my weight is a true reflection of my size.

Even at my skinniest (around 52-53kg) I looked way too thin even though for all terms and purposes I was a healthy weight. (I was a size 4 at the time).

At my slimmest I was 8.7 stone. I was wearing a size 12 or maybe a big 10. I am only 5ft. I have boobs, hips and thighs! I lady I work with is same height and weight. She wears a size 8. Never been an 8 in my life!

Weight is just a measure, things that weigh the same don't always look the same. Think of the classic 1 kg of metal vs 1 kg of feathers. The feathers will look loads more than the metal, but both weigh the same. It's subjective depending what you're weighing!

Me too.

Only body builders tend to weight this much while being small in size

It’s crazy isn’t it. I am the same height as you, same dress size and 2st 10lb heavier than you! At 10stone, I was a size 8!

I am not a body builder!

When I was unfit doctors did tell me they really mattered. That was when I was in my teens/early 20s.

I'm now smaller and lighter and much fitter than my mother ever was.

Even my bloods always show I'm a very active person (I need to get tested regularly for a chronic condition).

I think I just got fixated with my weight from an early age, and now even I'm much smaller, my weight still hunts me.

I wouldn’t let this bother me. It’s probably muscle which is denser than fat

I totally get this @chatenoire I was the same in my 20s. I was absolutely gutted at being on the borderline of 'overweight' despite being slim and fit and healthy. People doubted my weight all the time and couldn't believe I was 64kg. I was terrified that putting on another kg would make me overweight and therefore destined for diabetes and heart disease. Despite doing sports every day and being super fit, I tried and tried to get down to a healthy BMI of 22 or so which would be 60kg and in the end I just ruined my metabolism and now I am 20 years older and actually am fat. Officially obese in fact. I would KILL to go back in time and ignore the scales.

Yes exactly!!! That's how I feel. It's horrible, isn't it?

If it's not something you have experienced you don't realise how much low weight is valued in women. (I know, because I do weigh heavy for my size).

It's not good enough to be thin, you must be light too!

All my life I've strived for 8 stone and could never get there. But that's what my 10 year old weighs. And he's a normal shaped child. But everyone comments positively on his muscular build.

What are your waist, bust and hip measurements? I can't weigh myself because I had an ED and body dysmorphia, I just race to get the stones and lbs down, it's a weird psychological self harm tool I have. So I measure my w, h and b just to make sure I am healthy. I am currently seeing a gastroenterologist as potentially coeliac and they said the single most effective measure of health is wait to hip ratio- if yours is good I'd forget all about weight, dress size etc.

Great stealth boast...

I think you look bigger than a size 8 but the photo is at a strange angle so hard to tell. You need to stop worrying about weight and just eat healthily and exercise. Maybe see your GP if this is a real issue to you.

Just purchase the proper scales that measure everything...fat percentage, BMI, muscle mass, water etc etc..they're only about 50 quid.

I have seen you post that picture at least once before and again it was to do with weight. You sound like you need some counselling to be honest for insecurities or issues around appearance and food.

I totally get this. I used to be a triathlete and at the time I did a half Ironman I was still classified as obese on BMI as am really muscular. I weigh loads for my size and it’s a real issue for me as I ride. It has troubled me my whole life and I even remember clearly as a child being made to sit on a friend's lap in the car ‘as I looked the smallest’ and them moaning the entire journey how heavy I was.

I have seen you post that picture at least once before and again it was to do with weight. You sound like you need some counselling to be honest for insecurities or issues around appearance and food.

That's interesting. OP, I don’t think this thread will help you and I think you should seek professional help.

I get you OP. I'm bigger than you, a size 12 with a big frame- big ribcage, broad shoulders, but much heavier than you'd expect at that size and my height (I'm aware it isn't a tiny size and do want to lose a bit more weight anyway). It makes no material difference as I have a good hip to waist ratio and am fit and strong excepting recent illness but would like not to weigh a tonne after living pretty healthily for ages. It's quite demoralising. My mother grew up in the Twiggy era and placed a huge value on a small frame as well as thinness so this has been a thing all my life, she made me very aware of it from a very little age.

You've shared that exact picture before under a different name. Multiple threads about your weight, body dysmorphia, your DDs weight, an M&S age 13 bralet. It's not healthy. I think you need to go back to theraoy rather than fishing on mumsnet for compliments about how tiny you are.

I think you just have to shift your focus away from weight being the only measure of health, though I know that's maybe easier said than done. Instead focus on eating (mostly) healthy foods, doing regular exercise, not ignoring any heath niggles (physical or mental) that might appear, and enjoying your life.

Edit - in light of posts which appeared as I was writing I am going to give another vote for seeking some help with your body image, because there's perhaps something deeper going on. Good luck.

68kg is not heavy. You're a perfectly normal weight.

I have and they told me there's nothing they can do as:
a) I'm healthy
b) eat well
c) I'm fit
d) don't have any behaviours that would be considered a disorder

And basically get told that I have to learn to live with, which I do.

The easiest solution would be to throw away the scales (literally) but even then weight is something I have to deal with on a regular basis. The dose of my medication for my condition is weight dependant, so I'll always know my weight ;)

Why does it matter? If you're adequately fuelling your body, treat it well by being active etc and you're not carrying excess body fat what's the issue? One of my friends is 17 stone- you'd not believe though as even though she's tall (5'11) her body fat is low, she's in exceptional physical shape.

Stretchy Lycra content clothing has a lot to answer for. Have you had your actual body fat percentage measured? Waist to hip ratio? Waist to height ratio?

I think your scales are out. Have you tried weighing yourself on some others?

Same weight and height and am a size 16 bottom and 18 top (for boobs)