Irks me to see mums boasting about "childfree" nights out & "kid free weekends away"

[Bridgetjoneski]

I just find it very distasteful! I have one or two mum friends on insta & know them in real life. But at least every fortnight they have insta posts up about "kid free" night out with dh or "kid free weekend away". They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury. Tag a dinner your hubby but no need to state the kids absense.
Is this a rising trend or just limited to the pair I know? The latest status tagging the latest dinner out was "not a child in sight"...

I think it’s wonderful your friends have realised that prioritising their relationship with their husband/partner is key to happy children and a happy family, are you really annoyed they can do this or are you annoyed they are financially stable? If you intend to spend every second of your life and every event with your children you will indeed lose yourself and are in for a shock as they grow and become independent. You should be happy your friends have a good balance and perhaps take some inspiration, maybe then you won’t feel the need to criticise their perfectly healthy life choices

👏🏻😂😂🤣 they probably have the cheek to go to the toilet in peace by themselves too 🤣

I hear you, OP. People are being deliberately obtuse about this, when you have made clear, repeatedly, that you don't have any issue with people going out with other adults, it's only the crassness of the "childfree" label that bothers you. I bet if there were a hashtag called "petfree" many of those same people would be horrified, lol.

It shouldn't bother OP though, it's not neglect and it's doesn't mean they don't love their children. I'm not being obtuse and totally get what is bothering her. I think it's pathetic.

Let me guess OP your children are ‘highly anxious’ and would be majorly triggered to see such a hashtag, in fact they’d go NC due to the toxicity and emotional abuse..?

I really wouldn't care, I'm not bothered what others choose to post online.

Exactly! I don't understand how some people, especially parents aren't seeing the difference.

My friends aren't my responsibility, I don't have to change their nappies, wipe their noses, feed them dinner, bath them, stop them from picking my nose because they think it's funny etc.

It isn't comparable, not even close.

#petfreebychoice
#sono

But it is the "child-free" which is often important to children of young parents. The rest is usually by-the-by. So that is probably why they are stressing the "child-free" aspect of whatever they are doing.

Often, I couldn't care less whether I'm spending my afternoon or evening in an airport lounge, on a train or bus going somewhere, in a nice restaurant, in a Starbucks, in a hospital cafe or climbing some pretend mountain with friends somewhere in the pouring rain because one of us inexplicably thought it would be fun.

The important thing is that, at that moment, I'm neither working for someone nor caring for someone and so I can concentrate on me. The activity or location is usually fairly irrelevant.

The whole point of the "childfree" label was that it was a reaction to the previous mentality of years past - that "childless" people were missing out, which was actually quite hurtful to people who never had children. It was a way of saying, "you can have a nice life whether you became a mum or not, there are so many ways to have a good life." However, "childfree" has taken on a life of its own, and is used now to brag (usually about holidays), and be rather negative towards children as a whole, when originally it was meant as a way to be inclusive and acknowledge that there are many ways to lead a fulfilling life.

Oh I wish. We have no support system locally so we don't get that it all.

OP is just being offended but I actually think there is more to this than just the hashtag. Especially after seeing the other two threads she is on.

I don't think it's anything to do with what you have just said.

I don’t know why these people even bother having children, if they want to be living such a selfish, hedonistic life

🙄

Well, someone has to produce the future cancer curers/care home bottom wipers.

I appear to be one of few, but I get what you mean. I don’t know why some people bother having kids if they’re going to go on holiday without them all the time and have nights out and weekends away once a fortnight!!! Once every few months for sure but not every fortnight! I want to show my kids the world, I’d never holiday without them.
We pretty much don’t get child free time together, but I absolutely don’t want to be without them every fortnight, family time is precious. But once they’ve all left home, we will have too much time without them, I’m sure. In fact it probably won’t even be that long until we get child free time, they’ll not want to be around us before we know it 😭

Assuming your relationship lasts that long......

How much "family time" are you honestly missing on a night out though? That's just martyrdom for the sake of martyrdom. Wait til they're in bed if you can't live with the guilt.

You come across as rather entitled. Some people, by choice or design, have no option but to work when their children are at school. Those that don’t or are unable to work may not have the disposable income to do nice things regularly, or may have other responsibilities like caring for family members 🤷🏻‍♀️ If it irks u, snooze them in social media ..

Right? Went from being jealous of sahm's brunches etc to being those mums from Sunday to Monday. That is definitely a glow up.

It's not that though! It's not martyrdom to go on a night out with friends & family & NOT #notachildinsight.
A parent who hashtags #childfree is making the kids the butt of her humourless joke. There is absolutely no need to blatently highlight the fact your child is not there as if that makes it the best thing about the night!
Maybe it would be more mature to hashtag the lovely atmosphere, conversation, great wine & company etc.. But #sprogless #childfreezone is tacky & a cheap shot at innocent children.

You don’t know why they bother having children?

The triggered mummies are unintentionally hilarious 😂 this thread is brilliant.

Wasn't talking about the # anymore. Bored of that now.

Imagine if you didn't have six hours a day to do all those lovely things you listed earlier. You probably would be quite excited at the prospect of one night/weekend to enjoy adult company that isn't work too.

That’s absolutely true and I hadn’t thought of it like that. I’m very introverted so socialising can be pretty draining for me, and I find my own kids less taxing to be with - snotty noses and all - than many adults: I may not have to look after them, but unless we get on well, I’m going to find being with them fairly stressful. I can see how, if you’re sociable, spending time with others would drain your energy far less than being responsible for your kids.

Maybe social media ain't for you if you are that easily offended by other peoples lives.