Irks me to see mums boasting about "childfree" nights out & "kid free weekends away"

[Bridgetjoneski]

I just find it very distasteful! I have one or two mum friends on insta & know them in real life. But at least every fortnight they have insta posts up about "kid free" night out with dh or "kid free weekend away". They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury. Tag a dinner your hubby but no need to state the kids absense.
Is this a rising trend or just limited to the pair I know? The latest status tagging the latest dinner out was "not a child in sight"...

Yes, op, it irks me too but tbh could be because we just never get the chance to do that. Love the kids but in 12 years have never had a break. Grandparents sadly deceased so unable to help or on my side, in poor health. Those with grandparents to help at every whim don’t know how lucky they are.

Because part of the excitement is having a break from parenting and time with my husband that isn't interrupted by DC.

My work colleagues aren't my parents and don't spend the majority of their time with me. I don't see how it's comparable.

The bottom line, WHO CARES!!

I don’t post on any social media like Instagram or Facebook. I have never posted a photo or personal fact there so there is no danger of my kids ever seeing anything.

However, my children are young adults now and they know that having young kids is hard work. They have no intention of heading down that route until they are at least 30! We are v close and I cannot in a million years imagine them being offended if they knew that I had enjoyed a night out without them and told others that. But maybe other kids are different 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think you are being over-sensitive, OP.

Whether you like it or not, many people nowadays post details of their lives on social media... things that are a big deal, but also the day-to-day. It's how we live nowadays.

I love my DC to pieces but I remember the first time I felt comfortable leaving DC1 for a day out and the overwhelming sense of freedom/exhilaration. And the first time I had an entire weekend to myself, to sleep in, potter round, have a long bath, see friends, leave the house in under 10 minutes, stay out late and not have to worry about rushing back. Go to a restaurant and eat my food warm without having to feed someone else first.

It actually was a "big deal" to me. A huge deal. I hadn't realised until then how much of a toll being a parent to a young child and caring for them every day and every night had taken on my general wellbeing and sense of personhood. It was like looking in the mirror and temporarily finding someone I had lost - I remember thinking "Oh, there you are again."

I don't post my life on social media on a regular basis, but if I did I would have thought this would have been worthy of a mention. And I would have liked to think that most people would have understood.

Try doing a 40 hour week whilst being a parent and you might understand. Working is not time spent away from kids, it is working.

I hate the phrase too

Exactly! I just don't see the point in using a negative slight against ones own children to highlight the fact one is on an evening out!
#mumsnightout #cocktailsandchats #mumcatchups #datenights
Are not offensive & get their point accross.
Using a negative passive caption about their own children is just so thoughtless & crass.

This is peak mumsnet ridiculousness finding absolutely anything to tear other moms down over 🙄

Far better than those irritating people with their Velcro babies.

Just to confirm, I work full time, am studying for a masters and also I’m a “full time mum” to my dc.

with 3 dc my girls recognise they can be a lot as we’re taxiing them to clubs, sorting costumes, platting hair, dealing with friendship crisis etc and understand that child free time is important for couples in a healthy relationship.

i love my dc and will do anything for them, but it’s about balance and teaching a healthy balance. That will vary between families so get off your judgey high horse.

Then #welldesrvednightout #girlsnight #nightonthetiles sounds more appealing than #kidfreezone #childless or #childfree

I cannot leave my home for a whole night or a weekend, the childcare will be very expensive, my husband works all the time on a self-employed basis, I do not drive and this is how it is here.

I had a friend from my country who was a cleaner and nanny in a rich family and the mother used to go to spa resorts often or drinking night. I never had opinion about it. So be it

To you.

Clearly not to everyone.

Give me #childfreenight any day over #girlsnight or #hubbydatenight.

To you. You’ve done a poll and the vast majority don’t see it that way…

Don’t be so brittle looking for offence in nothing

@MamaAlwaysknowsbest@MamaAlwaysknowsbest was she posting things like #childfree at the spa because this is what this thread is about.
The whole culture of boasting about being #childless on social media when you leave your kids at home. It's unnecessary..
Noone is begrudging anyone their leisure & socialising time, my pet hate is the need to document online that one is #childfree & #notakidinsight as if they are rats or headlice, some type of infestation to stamp out..
When a simple #datenight #coupletime would suffice..

Well there's a sly piece of ageism if ever there was one...

Language does indeed evolve. The concept of some thing or some place or some person being "X, Y, or Z-free" isn't that new all the same. Dirt-free, hassle-free, interest-free - all come with the implication that you're free of something very unpleasant. The Nazis tried the linguistic trick in the term "Juden frei".

Current popular usage of the term reflects the same meaning it has always had, and continues to have, in all the other contexts. That point has been made over and over on this thread. Look back and you'll see the references to the drudgery and boredom and feeling of responsibility, and people moaning about the constant sound of the word "Mummy!" in their ears. It does indeed mean freedom from something many posters here find very unpleasant.

The people who use the term and consider it harmless are choosing to hop aboard a bandwagon without thinking about the implications of the casual phrase they're throwing about.

For those who've been on MN for aaaages, am I the only one getting Beesimo flashbacks?

[Poster who fairly regularly used to post threads slagging off parents who put their kids in 'day orphanages' aka nurseries, and then when the bun fight kicked off and she was handed her arse for being a dick, would get all wide-eyed upset because it was 'her culture'.]

OP, you've got a few people who agree with you. Most don't, and despite spending hours of your largely child-free day arguing on here I doubt you've changed even one person's mind. Give up and go do something more wholesome and child-centred, yeah? That'll show us all.

Oh give over OP, with your charmed life of not working and socialising all day, whilst getting your DC to do chores, back in the real world.....

Do you ever wonder how you'd cope without such an easy life?

Omfg grow up op.

oh sweet lord your easily offended aren't ya? also sound like you have way way to much time on your hands.
here's an idea why don't you delete all Your social media so you don't get offended. also to note social media is only a snap shot of people's lives. instead of being judge how about celebrating your friendship. if I was one of your friends I would be shocked at your posts here and wouldn't want to be friends with you at all.
life can be shite parenting is hard bloody work. who care what anyone puts up on Facebook etc. crack on with yoir own life enjoy your freedom of pilates etc. even better how about your go to work ? give your brain something useful to focus on instead of scrolling watching snap shots and judging other people's lives

Just scroll past if it annoys you so much.

The Nazis tried the linguistic trick in the term "Juden frei".

@mathanxiety Did you seriously just try to compare women posting about going out without their kids to nazi slogans? What the hell would make you think that's appropriate?

I'd never considered this, but I do get your point. A previous poster mentioned the possibility of them going through your FB or whatever, when they're older, which I also hadn't thought about. I suppose it's one thing to feel it, another to write it publicly.

Still, there are probably bigger crimes out there!

I can’t understand this thread at all! I rarely have child free time. Next time is March for a day and then a weekend in September. I will be in a different city for one and different country for the other and I’ll be able to pass all child responsibilities re food etc over for those times. It’s such a weird thing to get hung up over just because you’ve decided to interpret it in a certain way. I’m assuming you’re trying to justify feeling superior to these women but you don’t come across well imo.