How rude is this! Kid's party

[firethene]

Sent out invites for my DD's party this afternoon in November.

Most responded yay or nay straight away, one parent didn't. Fine, I didn't think anything of it. I then bumped into her on the school run and mention if 'Ida' could come or not, she said yes.

A few days ago I sent out another text to everyone who had said yes reminding them to sign the venue's waiver thing - this parent read and didn't reply.

'Ida' didn't show up at the party meaning we'd paid for her place for nothing (in the region of about £25 per head). Also did food and party bags etc.

Aibu in thinking if you don't want to come, just bloody decline?

I don't know how parents do this, I would feel so incredibly guilty! Don't invite them next time. Was it a trampoline Park? Some of them will give you a voucher to use for your own kids if you don't use them all on the day x x

I'd say that was her risk.

No reply, tough luck. To be honest there's always one!

I'm sorry OP but I wouldn't be able to commit to a kids party with that much notice being 100 percent certain. Last year my daughter missed two, one because COVID and once because chicken pox. I told the parents that we weren't able to make it the day before. I handle the kid the present at the first opportunity we had and that was all.

If I came about rude I don't think so, and if so I don't really care. She should had sent you a cancellation note at least.That would be the best, however you wouldn't have recovered the money with that sort notice.

So yes, it is rude, at it look like she didn't bother from the beginning which is annoying. But this things happen.

there's your mistake. Written replies only for this kind of thing. No written reply, no entry/party bag. then if they turn up, they can pay to go in and maybe join in, but no party bag.

nope, not insane. If this is a popular activity and gets booked up well in advance it makes sense. Also everyone is overscheduled these days, getting in early with notice of the party makes sense.

And since 19 of the kids turned up, seemingly sensible in OPs group. Maybe not in yours, but when my lot were small and having parties, 6 or 8 weeks notice was usual.

Invitations went out far too early. But still no excuse for this no show. Wouldn't be inviting this child to anything again.

I used to find (in activity holidays so pay per head) mums and Nannie’s would rock up with siblings, drop them off and leave you to pay their entrance and food costs. Cheeky buggers!

YABU.

There’s no way I’d be signing a waiver to an event that my child is attending without me.

For one thing, waiver’s have no legal standing in English law but by having them, the venue is acknowledging that there is a known risk associated with their activity.

However, I would definitely tell you why my child won’t be attending so you could consider the risk of harm and ensure you had enough adults supervising.

If you're doing a clip-and-climb party or something similar, you do need to book a couple of months in advance though, and you pay when you book most of the time. So you need to send the invites out early. It's not like a village hall party or a party at your house where you can invite people with a few weeks to spare because numbers don't matter as much!

When we have parties like that for DS, I do send out a reminder a couple of weeks before though, in case people have forgotten.

I won't comment on how far in advance the invites were sent as I'm sure others have already done that.

I am arranging my son's third birthday party. I've also invited people with no response. As far as I'm concerned, they will be treated as a No.

If they turn up, if there's space to join then fine otherwise I'll explain that because we didn't receive a RSVP I assumed they were not attending.

This might sound brutal but I think people need to stop being so rude ignoring people.

I'm sorry OP but I wouldn't be able to commit to a kids party with that much notice being 100 percent certain.

So I, and most polite people do this:

•revive an invite
•check the diary
•if diary is clear, reply yes - if diary isn't clear, reply no
•if an event happens between then and the actual party which means my child can no longer attend I would text with my apologies.

The length of notice between invite and the actual party is completely irrelevant

No, they did not.

Attending without you?! From where have you plucked that? All the parents stayed to supervise and chat with other parents

Ah, the joy of kids’ parties.

YANBU OP, the other parent was rude. I have organised a few parties now and have noticed that it always seems to be the parents who don’t do big / class parties themselves who either RSVP yes and don’t turn up, don’t RSVP and turn up with three extra siblings and a pet goldfish, all of whom are expecting to be fed and to be given a party bag (and usually don’t even say thank you) and/or ignore their child while they’re behaving appallingly, expecting the party host to intervene. People who’ve been there with their own parties tend to be polite, ask about siblings, let you know if they can’t make it at the last minute due to illness etc..

My oldest is 8 now and this is the first year we’ve had a smaller party with a more select group of their friends - everyone we invited RSVPed quickly and everyone who said they would come (16, plus a couple of siblings) turned up. It was SO much easier! Can’t wait until the younger ones get to that stage!

However, I would definitely tell you why my child won’t be attending so you could consider the risk of harm and ensure you had enough adults supervising.

This bit has really tickled me 😂😂😂

You're getting some standard MN batshit responses on here OP.

Grade A crazy

It’s so rude, there are no excuses for it.

Either reply yes and pop it in the calendar and forget about it or say no. I know several venues you have to book months in advance for kids parties as they get totally booked up at the weekends.

I feel so sorry for the kids of these flakey/rude parents - all the kids talk about the parties in class so wonder if the child thought they were going, then didn’t. Its just not fair on the child.

I would set a strict date for parents to reply by (give a few weeks as invites can end up in the bottom of bags) and just book those who reply by that date. Dont chase anyone. If they reply after the set date, add them in only if you want to/give a good reason for not replying earlier.

You have two choices

• move on
• confront the person

Yes I think its not socially okay to say yes and then not notify someone if you're not going.
But that happens, life and people are not perfect.
Atleast it was just one person.
Hopefully it didn't interfere with the enjoyment of the party especially for your child who's birthday it was?

I think if you'd told the person you would be paying £25 for them to attend before the event, and then they didn't show. Then you know confronting them about that is pretty fair.

If they don't know it cost you anything, it just sucks that they didn't come. They probably didn't think much about it because maybe didn't understand such consequences.

Is it worth having peace with this person and noting it as a one off.
Or having a conversation to deal with it.

:)

Waivers are standard for trampolining, climbing etc. They won't let you do the activity without one (applies to child or adult). The whole point of the waiver is to ensure you are aware of the risk before entering. The venue will provide the supervision it's not up to the parents. It's a requirement of their insurance. Of course you can stay with your child if you want anyway - it would be normal for parents to stay at that type of venue for younger kids. Do you really prevent your child taking any form of risk? No cycling, playing outdoors etc? Do they spend all their time on screens by any chance?

Agree totally 👍🏻

I think you just have to accept there are some rude people and you might pay for a couple of wasted spaces. If that's as issue invite a smaller group or do something that doesn't need exact numbers.
IME it's the ones who accept last minute that then don't turn up. Probably because they didn't really want to come anyway.

I think if you'd told the person you would be paying £25 for them to attend before the event, and then they didn't show. Then you know confronting them about that is pretty fair.

I would never disclose the amount paid, and I won't be confronting the parents.

I made this thread for a vent

This might sound brutal but I think people need to stop being so rude ignoring people.
I totally agree. Sometimes it's worth directly messaging the person, too, as some people are extra flakey with group chats. It's extremely annoying.

It's ridiculous she said yes and then just ignored you. What a waste of time, effort, and money!

As a side note, I think the invitations went out too early, too. Last week my DD was invited to a birthday party in mid-April. I might just say no because it's too far away. We could all be dead by then 😆